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I have a very good job, very high income, go to the gym regularly, etc., and thus I try to avoid asking women what they do for a living and when was the last time they went to the gym. I VOLUNTEER these information about myself if the conversation goes well but not near the beginning of the conversation when I first meet someone. And if the woman feels like it she can than volunteer the same information about herself. Asking those kind of "putting people in the spot" questions show poor conversational skill - that you don't know what to talk about besides the usual usual "so what do you do for a living?". The point is give the person the option of volunteering the information. If a woman asked me about what I do at the beginning of the conversation and I answered that truthfully, I would wonder if the reason the woman keeps talking to me is what I do for a living, or that she really finds me an interesting person to talk to.
Yes what I do for a living is a big part of who I am, but so is someone's past relationships, and other personal stuff. And if you were a woman you certainly would not feel comfortably if a guy asked you too many personal questions within the first 15 minutes of a conversation. "Wanting to know more about you" is no excuse.
Agin it goes back to conversational skill, and whether you can find interesting things to talk about besides giving people the "interview".
I think the best thing for me would be that a person offended by a question as simple as "What do you do for a living", would turn me down. I'd hate to have to spend whatever amount of time worrying about saying the wrong thing.
I've walked on eggshells before. Won't do it again.
I have a very good job, very high income, go to the gym regularly, etc., and thus I try to avoid asking women what they do for a living and when was the last time they went to the gym. I VOLUNTEER these information about myself if the conversation goes well but not near the beginning of the conversation when I first meet someone. And if the woman feels like it she can than volunteer the same information about herself. Asking those kind of "putting people in the spot" questions show poor conversational skill - that you don't know what to talk about besides the usual usual "so what do you do for a living?". The point is give the person the option of volunteering the information. If a woman asked me about what I do at the beginning of the conversation and I answered that truthfully, I would wonder if the reason the woman keeps talking to me is what I do for a living, or that she really finds me an interesting person to talk to.
Yes what I do for a living is a big part of who I am, but so is someone's past relationships, and other personal stuff. And if you were a woman you certainly would not feel comfortably if a guy asked you too many personal questions within the first 15 minutes of a conversation. "Wanting to know more about you" is no excuse.
Agin it goes back to conversational skill, and whether you can find interesting things to talk about besides giving people the "interview".
I have a very good job, very high income, go to the gym regularly, etc., and thus I try to avoid asking women what they do for a living and when was the last time they went to the gym. I VOLUNTEER these information about myself if the conversation goes well but not near the beginning of the conversation when I first meet someone. And if the woman feels like it she can than volunteer the same information about herself. Asking those kind of "putting people in the spot" questions show poor conversational skill - that you don't know what to talk about besides the usual usual "so what do you do for a living?". The point is give the person the option of volunteering the information. If a woman asked me about what I do at the beginning of the conversation and I answered that truthfully, I would wonder if the reason the woman keeps talking to me is what I do for a living, or that she really finds me an interesting person to talk to.
Yes what I do for a living is a big part of who I am, but so is someone's past relationships, and other personal stuff. And if you were a woman you certainly would not feel comfortably if a guy asked you too many personal questions within the first 15 minutes of a conversation. "Wanting to know more about you" is no excuse.
Agin it goes back to conversational skill, and whether you can find interesting things to talk about besides giving people the "interview".
What sorts of things do you generally ask early in a conversation with a total stranger? Aren't you more likely to use the boilerplate stuff (job, where you grew up, family stuff, etc.) on the phone than at a bar/starbucks where you can have some situational topics (the game, what is on TV, do you like this band/song etc.)?
When someone asks me about career, education, etc. I think I can usually tell if it's them sizing me up as opposed to getting to know more about me (in a less 'keeping score' type manner).
What sorts of things do you generally ask early in a conversation with a total stranger? Aren't you more likely to use the boilerplate stuff (job, where you grew up, family stuff, etc.) on the phone than at a bar/starbucks where you can have some situational topics (the game, what is on TV, do you like this band/song etc.)?
When someone asks me about career, education, etc. I think I can usually tell if it's them sizing me up as opposed to getting to know more about me (in a less 'keeping score' type manner).
If it's during the first five minutes then most likely they are sizing you up.
"What do you do for a living" is a great way to screen out guys with paranoid delusions.
If he interprets it as me having ANY INTEREST AT ALL in how much money he makes, then I know we are not compatible. But if he understands it as curiousity about how he spends the majority of his waking hours, what led him to his current field, what he likes and doesn't about it, what he wants to do with the rest of his life, then we're on the same page.
Last edited by NilaJones; 04-27-2013 at 04:35 PM..
Reason: i don't want to be that guy
"What do you do for a living" is a great way to screen out guys with paranoid delusions picked up from PUA sites.
If he interprets it as me having ANY INTEREST AT ALL in how much money he makes, then I know we are not compatible. But if he understands it as curiousity about how he spends the majority of his waking hours, what led him to his current field, what he likes and doesn't about it, what he wants to do with the rest of his life, then we're on the same page.
What he wants to do with the rest of life? That's a "under the blanket" question
I would have to had to already make out with a woman who ask me that question.
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