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I, for one, am so burned out on talking about work and hearing about other people's work that I don't ask about it (unless they do something exceptionally interesting). I've heard enough work talk to last a lifetime and it's just boring to me now. If I was interested in that, I'd get a job doing what they do, instead of dating THE PERSON. I want to know the person and I sure hope that they are more than their job.
That said, I don't knock people who ask, I just won't stay on that topic after we state what we do.
"What do you do for a living" is a great way to screen out guys with paranoid delusions.
If he interprets it as me having ANY INTEREST AT ALL in how much money he makes, then I know we are not compatible. But if he understands it as curiousity about how he spends the majority of his waking hours, what led him to his current field, what he likes and doesn't about it, what he wants to do with the rest of his life, then we're on the same page.
What sorts of things do you generally ask early in a conversation with a total stranger? Aren't you more likely to use the boilerplate stuff
You need to ask yourself one question: what makes you want to talk to a total stranger? If it's for no other reason than his look, then I can't help you. Otherwise talk about what makes the person interesting to you. That would be a good start.
"What do you do for a living" is a great way to screen out guys with paranoid delusions.
If he interprets it as me having ANY INTEREST AT ALL in how much money he makes, then I know we are not compatible. But if he understands it as curiousity about how he spends the majority of his waking hours, what led him to his current field, what he likes and doesn't about it, what he wants to do with the rest of his life, then we're on the same page.
What do you talk about with a guy you're interested in in the work place - you already know what he does for a living.
I hope you're not going to answer that with "I ask him about his work"...
You need to ask yourself one question: what makes you want to talk to a total stranger? If it's for no other reason than his look, then I can't help you. Otherwise talk about what makes the person interesting to you. That would be a good start.
Well, isn't the point of this thread that you are talking to a total stranger? So - you don't know what's interesting about that person, correct? You have to start somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pflau
What do you talk about with a guy you're interested in in the work place - you already know what he does for a living.
I hope you're not going to answer that with "I ask him about his work"...
But that person wouldn't be a total stranger.
My point of view isn't that asking what someone does for a living is the most brilliant, exciting question ever - just that it's a honest question to ask when you are getting to know someone. It's a starting off point. You could ask something else - but I see no harm in asking.
Well, isn't the point of this thread that you are talking to a total stranger? So - you don't know what's interesting about that person, correct? You have to start somewhere.
But that person wouldn't be a total stranger.
My point of view isn't that asking what someone does for a living is the most brilliant, exciting question ever - just that it's a honest question to ask when you are getting to know someone. It's a starting off point. You could ask something else - but I see no harm in asking.
I think asking where someone was raised and their favorite parts of the city is a better way to start a conversation.
I think asking where someone was raised and their favorite parts of the city is a better way to start a conversation.
Well, that's your opinion. Other people have different opinions. I don't think there is only one way to get to know someone. Why not be flexible? I can't imagine trying to have a conversation with someone where there were "right" things to say and "wrong" things to say that seemed so completely arbitrary.
Well, that's your opinion. Other people have different opinions. I don't think there is only one way to get to know someone. Why not be flexible? I can't imagine trying to have a conversation with someone where there were "right" things to say and "wrong" things to say that seemed so completely arbitrary.
No I wasn't saying what you said wrong I was just offering another relaxed way of starting a conversation besides..........what do you do for a living?
No I wasn't saying what you said wrong I was just offering another relaxed way of starting a conversation besides..........what do you do for a living?
I guess I just don't think about these things that much. Well, for one, I'm married. But when I meet new people - the conversation either flows or it doesn't - and I don't think it really depends on the exact questions asked or how they are phrased but on the people themselves. We have a friend who is just awesome. He's totally fun and friendly - and I've always loved hanging out with him. I met his fiancee for the first time awhile ago and it was like pulling teeth having a conversation with her. I get along with people who are easy to talk with. When you are easy to talk with - it doesn't really matter where the conversation starts.
I guess I just don't think about these things that much. Well, for one, I'm married. But when I meet new people - the conversation either flows or it doesn't - and I don't think it really depends on the exact questions asked or how they are phrased but on the people themselves. We have a friend who is just awesome. He's totally fun and friendly - and I've always loved hanging out with him. I met his fiancee for the first time awhile ago and it was like pulling teeth having a conversation with her. I get along with people who are easy to talk with. When you are easy to talk with - it doesn't really matter where the conversation starts.
That last sentence is something I agree with 100%. And i can easily tell if someone is easy to talk to because of how they answer the phone when I call for the first time or how they sound when I let them know who I am.
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