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she honestly sounds like she needs personal and drug counseling. she may not be a chronic user or hardcore addict but she is defiantly tempted when the right situations pokes its head from the corner. which signifies a deeper issue then just "drugs"
get to the route of her problem, not walking around it hoping she doesn't fall into a situation where temptation wins out.
Yeah, he needs to be cool about it so she'll feel comfortable opening up. But part of her story seems unbelievable though - that she did coke before they dated and then a few times since they've been married, but she never snorted. That is like Bill Clinton saying "I didn't inhale."
And the part about her not liking it. How can one not like something whose sole purpose is to give you euphoria and elation? It would be more honest if she said she loved it, which is why she needs to avoid it. Also, this whole bit about apples causing her lower gum disease is weird.
Maybe she is just covering up because the OP is a bit of a sheltered prude (nothing wrong with that OP!) and she fears his judgment. Who knows... I can't quite sort it out from the information given.
its not very unbelievable. if youre around a bunch of people doing it, just throw some on your gums to get a numb mouth and nothing more. its a good way to avoid the situation
she honestly sounds like she needs personal and drug counseling. she may not be a chronic addict but she is defiantly tempted when the right situations pokes its head from the corner.
get to the route of her problem, not walking around it hoping she doesn't fall into a situation where temptation wins out.
drug counseling...
"hi I am here because I have a problem, I put coke in my mouth 2 times in 16 years"
"hi I am here because I have a problem, I put coke in my mouth 2 times in 16 years"
Are we at a Baptist wedding?
drug counseling is never about about the the drug itself during the "treatment" portion, its about the emotional and mental issues that lead you back into the situations. if she goes and sees a drug counselor and is determined to not have any draw to the drug/s itself, they would put her in personal counseling to have her overlaying problems seen too.
deceptive behavior and trying to brush things of as nothing signifies a much larger issue then just "i tried drugs"
Last edited by rego00123; 05-02-2013 at 10:13 PM..
"hi I am here because I have a problem, I put coke in my mouth 2 times in 16 years"
Are we at a Baptist wedding?
Agree. Some people here are way over the top.
Why dont go conseuling in advance for EVERYTHING? You are always gonna make a slip of some sort and that will insantly make you in need of deep help. Sheesh, go live in a George Orwell book and let us chill over here without worrying about every single detail PLEASE.
Why dont go conseuling in advance for EVERYTHING? You are always gonna make a slip of some sort and that will insantly make you in need of deep help. Sheesh, go live in a George Orwell book and let us chill over here without worrying about every single detail PLEASE.
lets see we have "family secrets" looming overhead as a threat, drug use, lying, a failure to come to an understanding, and deep seated worry
its pretty obvious given the OP worry that there is need for counseling by a third party of some kind if they want to work the issue out. instead he is posting on a anonymous forum about the troubles he has dealing with things he came to know about the person he thought he had figured out.
not really solving much, is it.
its not that everyone needs to go to counseling for everything. its the fact there is still hang up here despite him attempting to work things out with his wife. he now doubts her because of it, not a healthy way to be.
or you can just ignore it all and pretend like nothing ever happened and live in ignorant bliss of your circumstance after failing to work through it on your own. not sure where the stigma comes from for counseling from folks who have obvious issues they cannot work through on their own.
Last edited by rego00123; 05-02-2013 at 11:49 PM..
I see nothing wrong with his wife behaviour and, frankly, after reading her letter, the OP seems to be the one "disturbed" not her. In any case, the OP is overeacting BIG TIME, and is creating an unnecessarly problem in his marriage.
But, hey, maybe he likes nonexistent made up problems, whatever floats his boat!
I do think the advice given here are not helping the already over the top paranoid mind of the OP. He should relax and not react like he is dating freaking Kate Moss for goddsake!
telling a paranoid person to relax doesn't work, they need examples and evidence that things are going to be ok.
and yes, if the OP isn't just making up dramatic stories for the sake of making them interesting he too should look introspectively.
a problem in the marriage regardless of the cause is still a problem...to which, there obviously one here. whether or not it directly tied into the revelation of drug use, that tidbit has defiantly shaken the OP faith in his SO. those things usually are not just caused by "one incident" there are usually many small observations over some time or logical progression to get to that point of emotional distress.
the over arcing issue here has nothing to do with drugs at its heart, its faith and trust both of which are needed for a healthy relationship
Last edited by rego00123; 05-02-2013 at 11:34 PM..
The only problem in this marriag is the OP over the top reaction to a non existen issue.
The wife said herself "she hates the stuff" refeering to cocaine. Hey, i once try smoking a cigarrette and didnt like it, does that make me a smoker that needs to quit ASAP? even if i never smoked?
I dont get the reason behind all the judgment and moral pointing of a lot of posters here. They seem to have a very little mind and live in a very small world. Sad for them
yup people just need to ignore when they realize they have deep seated issues and go on hoping it doesn't come up enough to implode.
best advice ever.
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