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I am 23 and I still have some time to find a girlfriend and eventual wife, but I thought I would post what I am looking for and see if you think any women would even fit this criteria these days.
-Very feminine, sweet, want me to run their life
-Traditionally hot, with no weight problems, tattoos, etc.
-Young
-Wants to take good loving care of me as a matter of course (make coffee, do dishes, cleaning, cooking, and laundry)
-Wants to have a lot of children and stay home to raise them and be a mother to them
-Has desire to dress well, exercise, and keep herself up
-Is Catholic or is at least open to joining the Church
I could go on and list other things that would be nice touches, such as virginity, class and culture, liking to dance, being blonde, etc. but I'll pass because these 7 things I listed above already seem to weed out the vast majority of modern U.S. women. They would think I'm a "sexist", which I suppose I am in the sense that I think there are definite differences between the sexes and the man should take the lead in dating and in marriage. Masculine and assertive versus feminine and submissive. Am I wrong? Is my search for a legitimately womanly woman is vain? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
TL;DR
I want a girl with sensibilities firmly in the middle-20th century and not this one.
My thoughts on this are that:
-Good luck finding a woman in a developed nation who wants you to run her life.
-Your use of the term "legitimately womanly woman" is offensive. Last time I checked, I had breasts, a vag, and two X chomosomes. Just because I don't want some paternalistic, domineering tool of the patriarchy bossing me around and I prefer a man who knows how to make a bed, cook food, clean up after himself, and wipe his own behind without having to rely on someone else to do it like an infant would doesn't make me less of a woman.
Well, OK, but isn't that more your opinion than anything?
No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol
Where is the evidence for that? The vast majority of females prefer a masculine male. And vice versa. Women don't like men who don't lead, they end up resenting men they have to lead. In almost all aspects of dating, women in general prefer the guy that is more masculine than not masculine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by josephkonrad
What about it is not grounded? I've had some incredible conversations with your truly feminine women when your metaphoric sparks were flying and etc. due to this dynamic.
Where is the evidence that men should 'take the lead'?
Some women prefer that. Some women don't.
I am 23 and I still have some time to find a girlfriend and eventual wife, but I thought I would post what I am looking for and see if you think any women would even fit this criteria these days.
-Very feminine, sweet, want me to run their life
-Traditionally hot, with no weight problems, tattoos, etc.
-Young
-Wants to take good loving care of me as a matter of course (make coffee, do dishes, cleaning, cooking, and laundry)
-Wants to have a lot of children and stay home to raise them and be a mother to them
-Has desire to dress well, exercise, and keep herself up
-Is Catholic or is at least open to joining the Church
I could go on and list other things that would be nice touches, such as virginity, class and culture, liking to dance, being blonde, etc. but I'll pass because these 7 things I listed above already seem to weed out the vast majority of modern U.S. women. They would think I'm a "sexist", which I suppose I am in the sense that I think there are definite differences between the sexes and the man should take the lead in dating and in marriage. Masculine and assertive versus feminine and submissive. Am I wrong? Is my search for a legitimately womanly woman is vain? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
TL;DR
I want a girl with sensibilities firmly in the middle-20th century and not this one.
Most of that is possible and not unreasnable. However, the bolded I think is where your going to run into problems finding and maintaining a long term relationship. They sound very controlling, sexist, and lazy.
Even among the fundamentalist Christians I know (bible reading, believing, and obeying), I do not really know any where the wife is submissive to doing her husbands bidding and will without question, to doing all the domestic chores and serving him, etc etc. It's not an issue of feminism either, but respect for your spouse, helping grow the relationship and household, and loving your spouse by being giving (not taking).
Maybe that woman is out there. I suspect she will be very difficullt to find.... and even if you did I am not sure it would be a satisfying relationship for either of you.
I don't care to be submissive, have my partner run my life, or be told that I'm not a "womanly woman" because of it.
leading =/ running your life. Leading means being decisive since women hate indecisive men. It means making big decisions with a calm confidence. I guarantee you that most of the women who run their husbands life resent their husband for allowing it.
Most of that is possible and not unreasnable. However, the bolded I think is where your going to run into problems finding and maintaining a long term relationship. They sound very controlling, sexist, and lazy.
Even among the fundamentalist Christians I know (bible reading, believing, and obeying), I do not really know any where the wife is submissive to doing her husbands bidding and will without question, to doing all the domestic chores and serving him, etc etc. It's not an issue of feminism either, but respect for your spouse, helping grow the relationship and household, and loving your spouse by being giving (not taking).
Maybe that woman is out there. I suspect she will be very difficullt to find.... and even if you did I am not sure it would be a satisfying relationship for either of you.
It's ridiculous, is what it is. What, he doesn't know how to take care of himself? Or is he just lazy that he can't be bothered to get off his duff and make a pot of coffee? I would feel like I was with a spoiled teenager if any man I knew behaved that way. And I'd seriously doubt he'd give a damn if the woman he was with was sexually satisfied. Men who think this way tend to be really lousy in bed: if it's all about them and what a woman can do for them outside the bedroom, it's going to be it's all about them and what a woman can do for them inside the bedroom, too. A smart, emotionally strong and secure woman would run, not walk, from this guy.
Decisions for a couple need to be made by a couple. Dictating terms is not going to work.
I think Capitol is explaining it best. Being decisive is not dictating or requiring submission, but being clear and concise in your needs and expectations. That doesn't negate working together for mutual benefit. It simply means not being passive, wishy washy, or on the fence all the time.
It's ridiculous, is what it is. What, he doesn't know how to take care of himself? Or is he just lazy that he can't be bothered to get off his duff and make a pot of coffee? I would feel like I was with a spoiled teenager if any man I knew behaved that way. And I'd seriously doubt he'd give a damn if the woman he was with was sexually satisfied. Men who think this way tend to be really lousy in bed: if it's all about them and what a woman can do for them outside the bedroom, it's going to be it's all about them and what a woman can do for them inside the bedroom, too. A smart, emotionally strong and secure woman would run, not walk, from this guy.
I was being a little PC.
Really, he needs to learn that loving someone means being giving, without expectation of anything in return. Then, if your with the right person, you end up with more in return then you ever thought to ask or demand because they love you back, which means they are giving without expectation in return either.
It's ridiculous, is what it is. What, he doesn't know how to take care of himself? Or is he just lazy that he can't be bothered to get off his duff and make a pot of coffee? I would feel like I was with a spoiled teenager if any man I knew behaved that way. And I'd seriously doubt he'd give a damn if the woman he was with was sexually satisfied. Men who think this way tend to be really lousy in bed: if it's all about them and what a woman can do for them outside the bedroom, it's going to be it's all about them and what a woman can do for them inside the bedroom, too. A smart, emotionally strong and secure woman would run, not walk, from this guy.
I don't really think this type of woman is what he's looking for.
I have actually known a few woman like this and they married in their late teens/early 20s. I think all but 1 is divorced now. They all got sick of being bossed around and being 'subissive'.
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