I think my BF took a video of me... (boyfriend, how to, girl)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We went on vacation this past weekend, but the night before we left we were having sex and while I was giving him a BJ (sorry for all the details) he took his phone out said "I'll just set the alarm so we won't be late"...I didn't think much of it even though the thought he might be pointing a camera at me did cross my mind for a sec...but I kept going (it wasn't the first time he took his phone out in a time like this, but this time the angle he was pointing it made me suspicious)...then I got even more paranoid when I tried to grab it from his hand and told him "not now", indeed I saw the video camera screen...
I stopped and tried to confront him, he swore it wasn't a camera and he might of pressed it by mistake, he said his friend just send him some gross photo of a body (don't ask)...
he put the phone down and I tried to believe him.
Next day I forgot all about it because we were having a great time, but I remembered it at night...he showed me that body photos to show he's not lying so I calmed down once more.
The day AFTER that, when we got back home (to his place) he was showing some photos to a friend that was with us on vacation and he got to the part where the vacation photos ended...
I couldn't see clearly but I did see something that looked like skin (it was a video so you can't really see what's going on just in the album).
When I got home I sent him a message "thanks for the great trip. P.S. I'm gonna kill you if you didn't delete those videos" once again he swore a dozen times that it's all in my head, and that "what belongs to you and me is only ours" "don't you trust me" "I'll always protect you" and all kinds of BS that seemed like he just copied from 'how to tell your GF what she wants to hear'.
I tried to make a joke (in case I AM being paranoid) and said "you do know that if anybody every sees a sex tape with me I'm gonna have to change my name and move to the north pole right?"
I'm supposed to see him again this weekend, and no matter how many times he tried to calm me down my intuition just tells me something's not right...and unfortunately, my intuition's never wrong.
I really don't know what to do...
I thought about confronting him again saying "either you show me all you photo/vid album and let me make sure it's not what I think it is, or I'm calling a cab and you'll never see me again!"
But it has been a week, and there's a chance he deleted them already (he doesn't move stuff to his computer so that's okay), in that case I'll just look like a psycho gf...
But I also can't just let it be...I can't sleep at night thinking what if a video like that actually exists...
and even though I hear the north pole is pretty nice this time of year, I really don't feel like moving there.
I'm really sorry for all the long whining but either I'm paranoid, or I'm right.
What would you do in my case?
I know of a guy who secretly recorded himself having sex with a girl and ended up going to jail. That was in England. I'm not sure if the same law applies in the U.S., but it probably does.
I would get rid of the "boyfriend". Anyone who whips out a 'phone to look at some photos his buddy sent him in the middle of a BJ is a disgusting creep. If you continue seeing this cretin I suggest that whenever you're in the shower, indulging in sexual escapades or doing anything which you don't want anyone else to see, you make sure his damned phone is way out of reach.
I know of a guy who secretly recorded himself having sex with a girl and ended up going to jail. That was in England. I'm not sure if the same law applies in the U.S., but it probably does.
That's...encouraging.
But how do I get evidence if he did delete it? or how do I prove I didn't agree to it?
I wasn't too bothered by the camera 'cause I wasn't sure it was a camera.
I know I can sue him but you need evidence to do that...
I would get rid of the "boyfriend". Anyone who whips out a 'phone to look at some photos his buddy sent him in the middle of a BJ is a disgusting creep. If you continue seeing this cretin I suggest that whenever you're in the shower, indulging in sexual escapades or doing anything which you don't want anyone else to see, you make sure his damned phone is way out of reach.
I would get rid of the "boyfriend". Anyone who whips out a 'phone to look at some photos his buddy sent him in the middle of a BJ is a disgusting creep. If you continue seeing this cretin I suggest that whenever you're in the shower, indulging in sexual escapades or doing anything which you don't want anyone else to see, you make sure his damned phone is way out of reach.
Not so simple...we've been together for almost 2 years, I'm still in love with him, and we were actually making plans to move in together soon (a thing I'm not sure I should do after this whole mess).
> That's for the future and yeah I've learned my lesson.
If I ever see his phone a mile from me when I'm naked, I'm just gonna drop everything and tell him that if he ever wants to sleep with me again, he better keep his god damned phone far far away from me.
But what do I do about the video that (possibly) already exists?
I mean, God only knows how many people he could of shown/sent it to this past week...
How do I know it really exists/existed in the first place?
I mean, what if I AM wrong?
This is obviously a very important personal issue to you, and potentially an illegal issue. This issue will not go away in your head until you have substantial proof, the time for him to prove his innocence has elapsed since it has been a week. I'm not sure what guy would feel the need to set his alarm while receiving a BJ, so I am able to see why that made you uneasy and suspicious.
If him recording you performing sexual acts is grounds for you to break up with him then I advise you do it. If he is lying you'll be hard pressed to prove it, and if he gets away with it he will likely lie again.
I can't imagine any man ever taking out a cell phone in the middle of a BJ for any good reason. Maybe "my brother is in surgery for a life-threatening condition on the other side of the country and I'm waiting for a call," but that's about it.
Point being, even if he did not record you, why on earth would you be with a man who can be so distracted at such a time that he'd actually think of taking out his phone to do anything, much less set an alarm. What, is he afraid he's going to fall asleep in the middle of the act? During that activity, he should be in such a state that the house can fall down around him and he wouldn't notice.
Not so simple...we've been together for almost 2 years, I'm still in love with him, and we were actually making plans to move in together soon (a thing I'm not sure I should do after this whole mess).
> That's for the future and yeah I've learned my lesson.
If I ever see his phone a mile from me when I'm naked, I'm just gonna drop everything and tell him that if he ever wants to sleep with me again, he better keep his god damned phone far far away from me.
But what do I do about the video that (possibly) already exists?
I mean, God only knows how many people he could of shown/sent it to this past week...
How do I know it really exists/existed in the first place?
I mean, what if I AM wrong?
The fact you are okay with staying with him, and him having his phone out at all during sex tells me you have no respect for yourself. Two years or not you deserve better. It's time to move on. I mean he was looking at his phone. He had no interest in pleasing you in any way it's all about him, and his wants and needs.
Not so simple...we've been together for almost 2 years, I'm still in love with him, and we were actually making plans to move in together soon (a thing I'm not sure I should do after this whole mess).
Setting aside my personal feelings about this boyfriend and his character, why would you even think about moving in with someone who you distrust? You've said that this isn't the first time he's pulled a stunt like this, obviously it bothers you a lot and yet you are still "in love" with him? What you can or cannot do about whatever photos or videos he has (and is no doubt merrily showing to his sleazy buddies) I've not a clue other than smash the 'phone to pieces. You deserve better. Anybody deserves better.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
