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I live in the DC area, and it's not like the men around here are schlumps. They're not. It's just that on CD, I see a lot of men complaining that the females in this town are fat, ugly, conceited, think they're saving the world, looking for an underwear model etc etc. To some extent, I guess it's reasonable for them to feel this way. The females in this town tend to be career oriented and don't really want to mess around with a schlump.
This struck me funny.
You may frequent different threads or something, because I haven't seen men complain that women should be more accepting of a schlump.
What I have seen written about DC specifically is that its full of women who think their careers make them attractive. I've heard that people are hung up on academic credentials as well.
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I think that any female who has invested a lot into herself would like an equally as hard working partner.
sure, but that's not realistic.
men, for the most part, don't care how much work a woman has invested in her career. it is about as sexy as a man who has invested a lot of work in his baseball card collection.
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For me, I'm finding the men that I'm interested in, are not interested in me for being me. They're interested in me for being a breadwinner.
I can get them the health insurance their job doesn't offer, I won't ever be unemployed, I have the good retirement plan their job doesn't offer, and I make a wage that allows me a certain life style. Basically, all the things a female used to look for in a male partner, years ago. It's gotten me a bit rattled to be honest. And I don't really like it.
Well, women pushed for equal wages, and they won. As of my generation (I'm 30), women earn more than men.
With that change comes a smaller ratio of high-earning men to high-earning women.
The high earning men that DO exist don't care much about finding a high-earning woman. They pair up with women that have the qualities that men value, and those women are not necessarily high earners.
What's leftover are high-earning women and lower-earning men, which is what you're describing.
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Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer
That's the crux right there. Is it the economy? Feminism? Fast-paced workaholic cities such as DC? Yes, it's all of those things swirling around in the cauldron. But at the end of the day, you're still a woman, and you can't deny that men lesser than you are a turn off at the instinctual/primal level. Rationalize otherwise with higher thinking, but it is what it is. Women are programmed to seek providers. Sure, they can provide for themselves now, but that doesn't give them the warm and fuzzies like when Mr. Big provides. Men who earn less than you or toil away in less glamorous or prestigious lines of work basically pre-disqualify themselves on the provider count. Their only hope is to win the "sexy guy" battle with the other guys...to be the alpha bad boy that transcends money/good provider crap. Not many guys have that though.
men, for the most part, don't care how much work a woman has invested in her
career. it is about as sexy as a man who has invested a lot of work in his
baseball card collection.
Seriously, your comparing an education and career to a baseball card collection. Maybe its not that DC women feel their career makes them attractive but that they don't care for men's attitudes that have no respect for women's achievements while the men themselves are sitting home playing with baseball cards.
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The high earning men that DO exist don't care much about finding a
high-earning woman. They pair up with women that have the qualities
that men
value, and those women are not necessarily high
earners.
They should care. Actually I think they do start to care when the marriage goes bad and they are looking at divorce and alimony and child support and start to feel screwed over because it was their salary that paid for everything.
I don't know anything about the DC area, but what I see mostly are couples that make relatively the same income. I don't see many couples under 40 where one makes a lot more than the other.
Seriously, your comparing an education and career to a baseball card collection.
I said a woman's career choice was about as sexy as a man's baseball card collection.
In other words: Not sexy.
And when we're talking about the mating choices of high-earning, ambitious, motivated men in DC, I'd wager that sexy is a high priority.
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Maybe its not that DC women feel their career makes them attractive but that they don't care for men's attitudes that have no respect for women's achievements while the men themselves are sitting home playing with baseball cards.
If you think this is about baseball cards, then is is safe to say you've missed the point.
No, I'm saying people tend to marry within their own SES. Same goes for level of education, culture, religion, etc.
For a lot of men, attractiveness, kindness and a nurturing attitude trumps education, career status, etc. Married couples who are at the same "level" typically have met in college or at a job early on in their careers. (That is why they are usually close together in age as well.) Over the age of 35/40 or so, things change and men care a lot less about finding their "equal" regarding age and career status - just ask any 40 year old never-married professional woman.
No, what I said was "...men typically value looks over class and will happily date a gorgeous waitress."
Why are you so hostile? I don't understand where this rude attitude of yours is coming from, I thought we were just having a discussion. If it makes you feel better, I am certainly not "gorgeous" so I'm not pumping myself up here.
Seriously, your comparing an education and career to a baseball card collection. Maybe its not that DC women feel their career makes them attractive but that they don't care for men's attitudes that have no respect for women's achievements while the men themselves are sitting home playing with baseball cards.
They should care. Actually I think they do start to care when the marriage goes bad and they are looking at divorce and alimony and child support and start to feel screwed over because it was their salary that paid for everything.
I don't know anything about the DC area, but what I see mostly are couples that make relatively the same income. I don't see many couples under 40 where one makes a lot more than the other.
Its not that men don't respect women's achievements, they just don't as a general rule pre-qualify or disqualify women based on their relative success or lack thereof in the career arena. Note the nuance.
I get the serious impression sometimes that women mistakenly hold the assumption that what impresses them is what impresses men. That it would be any other way is hard to grasp conceptually.
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