Quote:
Originally Posted by Pena
I suppose the difference is that I actually care about the guy. Yes my confidence has decreased since being with him and I blame him sometimes, but I do care for him. He’s been good to my family and me in a lot of other ways, including my mom’s battle with depression.
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I will share a story about a buddy of mine OP and I hope you take it to heart. My best friend had a child at 23 or 24, to a woman that was a pretty unfit parent to her first child. They tried to work on their relationship for about a year, but she rather strip to make money than create an honest living for herself. My friend was young and made a mistake with the wrong woman. While she was pregnant, she would drink and take recreational drugs from time to time. She was doing this while my friend was out of town at college. He dropped out of college and moved back home once he found out she was stripping.
Since she was on drugs, their child has developed some mild to severe developmental issues. He'll never be able to live by himself. After she and my friend didn't work out, my friend ventured out and started dating. What he found out rather quickly, is a lot of 23-24 year old women, who didn't have kids, weren't ready to settle down with someone who had a child. He later on found a woman who was going through a divorce, had a child the same age as his son, and her husband was cheating on her and had a drug issue.
What people fail to realize is no matter how good you can sell yourself as a human being, there's some issues that we deal with that push certain partners away from us and attract other partners near us. My friend had to make a choice if he wanted to marry her or not. He ended up marrying her, but he also married her insecurities and baggage from her prior relationship. She married into having to adjust to living with a disabled stepson and a lot of baby mamma drama.
Could they have done better then each other? Yes. Did they really want to wait around for however long to meet someone better? No. Some people take what they can get, because it suits them for where they are in life at that moment. That's clearly what you have done with your relationship. What happens with all relationships is that people change and sometimes you change with your spouse and sometimes you don't. The dynamics of a relationship change often enough and it takes work to keep them working to where emotional and physical needs are being met.
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