No wife , No gf , No kids and mid 50's .....is he gay? (kiss, college)
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ive never heard him talk of a special woman in his life (or man for that matter) and at first i tbougbt he was just very private; but after four years Im thinking this co-worker is gay....the guy is about 56 and his only interest seems to be golf once a week and then a drinkfest after with his buddies at the club what do you think gay or no gay?
My first thought was...if bottom rung at the workplace (applies to most guys who fit the description here), probably straight..but if he plays golf it sounds like he has at least a middle class job.
My first thought was...if bottom rung at the workplace (applies to most guys who fit the description here), probably straight..but if he plays golf it sounds like he has at least a middle class job.
Most guys who are single and childless in their 50's are at the bottom rung of the workplace? I'm glad I don't work in your field. In my experience the bottom run is more likely to be the people who got married and/or had kids too early, which set back their education and career. I agree that this guy sounds more middle-class or higher (based on the golf, the club, and the fact that a woman wants to set him up with her friends), but none of this has anything to do with his sexual orientation.
Most guys who are single and childless in their 50's are at the bottom rung of the workplace? I'm glad I don't work in your field. In my experience the bottom run is more likely to be the people who got married and/or had kids too early, which set back their education and career. I agree that this guy sounds more middle-class or higher (based on the golf, the club, and the fact that a woman wants to set him up with her friends), but none of this has anything to do with his sexual orientation.
The type I'm referring to are concentrated in low-end service jobs, so you're unlikely to meet them in your field - you won't find them on a golf course, for example, or in a sales meeting. Single + childless +50s (over 40, more broadly) + no sign of ever having dated or been married + low-end job and income. The vast majority of gay men will fail to meet this set of criteria by dint of having better jobs and higher incomes.
ive never heard him talk of a special woman in his life (or man for that matter) and at first i tbougbt he was just very private; but after four years Im thinking this co-worker is gay....the guy is about 56 and his only interest seems to be golf once a week and then a drinkfest after with his buddies at the club what do you think gay or no gay?
I think you are waaaaaaaaay out of the intelligence box for sure.
You haven't had a date in weeks...YOU a lesbian??!!
This is the dumbest thread on CD!!!!!
Get a life and leave the guys business' out of you life!!
The type I'm referring to are concentrated in low-end service jobs, so you're unlikely to meet them in your field - you won't find them on a golf course, for example, or in a sales meeting. Single + childless +50s (over 40, more broadly) + no sign of ever having dated or been married + low-end job and income. The vast majority of gay men will fail to meet this set of criteria by dint of having better jobs and higher incomes.
Those are the types of jobs I'm talking about, actually. Those jobs tend to be filled by people with low levels of education, and that group tends to have children at a younger age. I would find it unusual to see a childless mid-50's man in that type of job, unless you're talking about someone with a developmental disability or something else that kept him from "getting laid" at a young age. Of course, they may not have custody of their children or even be in touch with them, but that's another story.
When I think of a straight man who was intentional about not having children (which is likely the case if he hasn't had any by that age unless he's infertile or the 55-Year-Old Virgin) I think of someone who was more focused on their education, career, traveling, etc. Poor and uneducated people are far more likely to crank out kids early and often.
I find it interesting that you think gay men have better jobs and higher incomes than straight men. Do you have a source for data that shows that? That would surprise me, given the discrimination that is still out there. (In many places it's even still legal.) I realize there are plenty of rich gay men and plenty of poor straight men, but wouldn't expect that to be the trend on average.
Those are the types of jobs I'm talking about, actually. Those jobs tend to be filled by people with low levels of education, and that group tends to have children at a younger age. I would find it unusual to see a childless mid-50's man in that type of job, unless you're talking about someone with a developmental disability or something else that kept him from "getting laid" at a young age. Of course, they may not have custody of their children or even be in touch with them, but that's another story.
When I think of a straight man who was intentional about not having children (which is likely the case if he hasn't had any by that age unless he's infertile or the 55-Year-Old Virgin) I think of someone who was more focused on their education, career, traveling, etc. Poor and uneducated people are far more likely to crank out kids early and often.
I find it interesting that you think gay men have better jobs and higher incomes than straight men. Do you have a source for data that shows that? That would surprise me, given the discrimination that is still out there. (In many places it's even still legal.) I realize there are plenty of rich gay men and plenty of poor straight men, but wouldn't expect that to be the trend on average.
Yes, you're on the right track. There is a small subset (maybe around 1-2 percent?) of heterosexual men who tend to be poorly employed, at low wages, and never get laid, or even get dates, although many attended college. These were identified by a professor named Brian Giilmartin, who 'studied' samples of college students and nonstudents. He came up with the term "love-shy" and put his findings - and a lot of other crap he imagined, e.g. his book has a section positing some sort of astrological connection. I stumbled onto Gilmartin's book 20 years ago in the stacks of a college library. The short version is that this group has extreme social deficits which detract from success in virtually all aspects of life, and, yes, I think it is a developmental disability, likely caused by childhood neglect and failure to bond, first with mother, then with peers. The child starts out developmentally behind his peers, and as they advance, he is left further and further behind, and the possibility of catching up becomes more and more remote.
I don't think gay men have better jobs than heterosexual men, it's just that the so-called love-shy tend to have particularly bad jobs. Gilmartin suggested that for this group, the choice of college major (preferably STEM) is "infinitely more important" than getting a 4.0 average in the "wrong" major (humanities, English, liberal arts)
My guess is that Gilmartin observed among his students the traits which describe his typical love-shy, and, not finding anything helpful in the existing literature, decided to do his own research. I observed this type as a college student - first the co-op roommate of a friend, then co-workers at restaurants and similar workplaces, but had only a vague concept of it before reading Gilmartin's book.
What keeps them from getting laid, or even dating, is a neurotic inability to initiate with women - it's not that they are getting rejected, they're not even trying. Of course, this problem almost always gets worse with age; their most hopeful years - if they only knew at the time - are in high school and college, after that it's all downhill, if that's possible to go downhill from zero. Nobody begrudges an 18-year-old dishwasher in school, but it wouldn't do a 40-year-old dishwasher any good to ask for a date even if he magically could, because by that time, he's become an automatic reject.
For those familiar with the "2 Stupid Dogs" cartoon series (one season, 1992-93, rerun for some time after on Cartoon Network), see the episode "Love Doctors" for a spot-on depiction of a love-shy kid. Heck, even if you've never heard of 2 Stupid Dogs, this cartoon is hilarious.
ive never heard him talk of a special woman in his life (or man for that matter) and at first i tbougbt he was just very private; but after four years Im thinking this co-worker is gay....the guy is about 56 and his only interest seems to be golf once a week and then a drinkfest after with his buddies at the club what do you think gay or no gay?
I have a friend who is gay, but is not out at work or with his family (he's from the kind of family that has charitable foundations and buildings named for his grandfather.) He thinks no one suspects, but he's a fussy, well-dressed man in his 40s who's never been married and is devoted to his dogs. I imagine that people could do the math if they were so inclined.
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