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Ok so you're texting women, and you're worried about your future with them?
Are you serious?
Why don't you try getting out of your bedroom and actually speaking to them face to face, before you go into conniptions of anxiety about which one is The One.
I don't think it's a good idea to be upfront about dating other people. Yes, if they found out they'd probably feel hurt, but if they know they can get hurt anyway. There's a huge potential for jealousy, plus most people don't want to be just one of several people someone is dating, they want to feel like you're attracted to them in particular. So just make sure they don't find out about each other.
And I'd definitely recommend having sex with them at the same time too. That's part of a full relationship with someone, so you won't get a complete sense of what being with them will be like if you don't have sex with them. Just make sure you practice safe sex.
I am just talking about dating though, not being in a relationship or dating someone on a regular basis (the point where you are a couple or exclusive). Usually if it doesn't work out, after 2-3 dates you never see each other again... and a lot of times all it takes is one date. I really don't think it's healthy to get that emotionally attached to someone (or have them that attached to you) in the first couple of dates that seeing someone else is a problem. But at the same time, one should be respectful of other's feelings and not lie about things.
The first step is to stop texting and call... set up dates. Heck, one of them might drop out at that point. Then go out with all of them at least on one date... maybe two if it gets that far. Then figure things out.
OK, so I can sleep with them concurrently, or not? One person just said one thing then someone said the other. What are the rules?
As a side note, I know the answer is "there are no rules", which is why the idea of "dating" is kind of retarded. It's part of our lowest-common-denominator trash culture. But whatever, for now I've got to play along. I'd just wish I could get a clear analysis of people's feeling on the subject, with like polls or something, like "this percentage of people feel sex doesn't create an obligation and you can sleep with multiple partners, and this percentage of people feel once you're sleeping with someone, you shouldn;t sleep with someone else."
OK, so I can sleep with them concurrently, or not? One person just said one thing then someone said the other. What are the rules?
As a side note, I know the answer is "there are no rules", which is why the idea of "dating" is kind of retarded. It's part of our lowest-common-denominator trash culture. But whatever, for now I've got to play along. I'd just wish I could get a clear analysis of people's feeling on the subject, with like polls or something, like "this percentage of people feel sex doesn't create an obligation and you can sleep with multiple partners, and this percentage of people feel once you're sleeping with someone, you shouldn;t sleep with someone else."
Well...that depends. Personally, I won't sleep with someone unless they aren't sleeping with anyone else at the same time. The relationship doesn't have to be exclusive, but I do want sexual exclusivity if that's happening. To me it's kinda gross, but to others it might be just fine, so it really comes down to personal preferences.
How do you feel about it? And have you asked the women you're 'dating'? Why not ask them how they feel if you were sleeping with multiple women at once, and how would you feel if they were sleeping with multiple men?
For women the equivalent to visuals for men is scent, the scent of your clean, un-cologned skin. If you have not met in person, these girls are in the same place you would be if you had not seen pictures of them -- they have no idea whether they will be attracted to you or not. So, meet them all and find out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree
OK, so I can sleep with them concurrently, or not? One person just said one thing then someone said the other. What are the rules?
As a side note, I know the answer is "there are no rules", which is why the idea of "dating" is kind of retarded. It's part of our lowest-common-denominator trash culture. But whatever, for now I've got to play along. I'd just wish I could get a clear analysis of people's feeling on the subject, with like polls or something, like "this percentage of people feel sex doesn't create an obligation and you can sleep with multiple partners, and this percentage of people feel once you're sleeping with someone, you shouldn;t sleep with someone else."
The non-trash version is, 'any rules are ok as long as you all agree what the rules are'. This means you have to have a conversation about it. As Jet says, ask them if they are ok with you sleeping with multiple girls, and make sure you are happy with multiple guys.
You haven't even dated them yet (dating meaning meeting someone and getting to know them to see if you click). It's a bit presumptuous to think you will have sex with any of them, let alone all of them. Just start with taking each out on a date and getting to know them.
You haven't even dated them yet (dating meaning meeting someone and getting to know them to see if you click). It's a bit presumptuous to think you will have sex with any of them, let alone all of them. Just start with taking each out on a date and getting to know them.
Terrible idea. Just do what you want. No sane person would ask if they are "okay" with something like that.
Yes, just do what you want with zero regard to anyone else.
That always works out reallllly well.
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