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"....men react physiologically to verbal confrontations to a far greater extent than women. Actually, women react physiologically to lack of verbal engagement. When a woman argues with a man, it reassures her, whereas the man can feel literally sick from it.
Moderator cut: too much for copyright ."
Do you agree with the bolded statement? I do and have plenty of good reasons for it, but wanted to see everyone else's take. As a young man, I believed that lack of conflict meant that my current relationship was working great and we were able to work things out without it. When an ex GF broke up with me, some 15 years ago, she cited "we never argue" as one of the reasons. I didn't really quite understand it back then, but I completely get it now.
The reason I post this article, is to get your take on conflict pros and cons in a relationship, and perhaps here your story. I know many young "nice" guys feel that avoiding conflict is the way to go, so perhaps this will go a long way to spare them future heartache.
I have to agree with the bolded to an extent (need to elaborate what is meant by react psychologically).
But, I think what is being stated as avoiding conflict is actually ignoring the elephant in the room and lack of communication skills.
Men like avoidance. They believe when women verbally express concerns and try to resolve problems they are nagging and when conflict is not vocalized men think everything is ok when in fact it is merely festering. Then men act surprised when women finally give up, clam up and move on.
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Verbal engagement is important. Arguing rarely is.
I used to think when I was younger that a relationship wasn't "real" until you've had one argument / falling out and worked through it. Until that point one party or the other was probably suppressing something for the sake a peace and the "relationship" at that point wasn't honest. I'm not sure about that anymore, mostly because I'm much more calm now and able to discuss things through and keep my emotions in check.
Ummm, MrsCPG doesn't get mad often. But if she did and I told her to calm down, she would rip my head from my shoulders and kick it down the street. And I'm no shrinking violet by anyone's imagination. Just in case in of my fellow men think this article is a good guide to mollifying a pissed-off spouse.
I would be thrilled to be with someone I never argued with. I like that 10 times better than being with someone who is argumentative or does not know how to have peaceful conversation with me without picking a fight.. Whats also not cool is a man who has no backbone or doesnt have values of his own. so there is an ideal there.
It's not about arguing so much as just talking about problems. The key is figuring out and using a way to communicate with each other that doesn't point fingers, place blame, or make attacks personal. In other-words, don't argue or fight.... but don't sweep problems under the rug and pretend they aren't there either. Learn to work out problems and disagree in a civil fashion... like adults. Then everyone is happy.
Lack of conflict or disagreement isn't a good thing... but full blown arguing and fighting isn't either.
Basically, a woman should bow down to her husband and never ever create any conflict, even if she's miserable because men are apparently unable to handle any sort of disagreement and will act like spoiled children.
Why is it that the women should change how they communicate, rather than the man? Why isn't the article "For a Happy Marriage, Both Partners Should Communicate Thoughtfully and Effectively and Listen to Each Other" ?
Generally when I have gotten screaming angry (in a relationship context) it is about something that has been an issue for a long time that has been ignored, avoided, or outright dismissed as important even though I have tried to get my partner to address it, fix it, work it out, come up with a solution together, understand how I feel about it, etc.
Absolutely, many will usually assume that stance with the hands on the hips and that's when the crap is about to hit the fan. This usually follows pleas from the hapless victim of "can't we just drop it, honey", or "You're right, let's just forget about it".
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I think what is being stated as avoiding conflict is actually ignoring the elephant in the room and lack of communication skills. 
