From what you can tell, how much have your looks affected your dating options?

[JJS99]

Originally Posted by Faith2187

So my opinion is that looks only get you so far. A guy will want you if your attractive and will give you more chances then someone less attractive when it comes up screwing up but eventually he will get over you. Or a guy might find you attractive but he will stop liking you no matter how good you look if he feels like the personalities don't match up.

Like I said I believe my looks have played a big role in my dating life and as a result makes it easier for me to find dates but it only helps to an extent or in the beginning because eventually if you aren't compatible the other person will move on.

It's the same for unattractive people too though.

When I approach women, so few women are physically attracted to me (none) that I have to take a lottery approach and see which one says maybe. If I manage to get her attracted to me, then I have to decide if I think we are compatible. Or maybe she'll change her mind and dump me before that.

The difference is that you get hundreds or thousands of possibilities while I might have had a fistful over the course of my life.

[mattywo85]

If its in person I do quite well but if someone sees a picture of me it's over. I am not photogenic at all so I usually don't have much luck on dating sites.

[Raptor76]

Just speaking for myself, I don't think Looks really helped or hurt me all that much. Not ugly, but I aint nothing to write home about either. In my opinion, any success I had was my sense of humor and the ability to carry a conversation no matter the topic. Now I'm not saying if I looked like a bum and smelled like corn chips and feet, and popped off some jokes, women at the time would still be interested, but I just think that my appearance may have got me noticed, and didn't scare them off, but how I spoke with them and and what we talked about is what made me successful or not.

[rs4 fan]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I wish I could agree with this, but I can't. There are so many times where you interact online, and talk on the phone for weeks, even months, and everything clicked like you knew each other for decades, and then you meet and there is nothing there. Very depressing and it is why I don't get any hopes up until I meet and determine if there is chemistry. It's an intangible thing that is there or it isn't, and you never know.

This happened to me a couple of times:

For the first one, I spoke to the girl for a week. She was a cousin of my friend's wife. We had great conversation and really seemed to click. We also saw pictures of each other before meeting up. The day we met up (at an auto club function), she saw me and did everything in her power to avoid me. I had to leave early and I barely got a "bye" from her. Called her up a few days later and she said, "I just didn't feel a connection."

The second time was with a girl I met online. We spoke for a week, then decided to meet up. Conversation was similar to the first girl. Upon meeting up with her (was taking her to a restaurant), I could already see the disappointment in her face as she climbed into the car. She used her cell phone for the entire 10 mile drive. Had dinner and she barely made conversation. It took a lot to get her to barely make a sentence. Took her home and never heard from her again.


I think when people see a picture of someone before meeting, they build up an image in their mind that might exceed the attractiveness of that person. They become disappointed when the person doesn't meet their expectation. The last girl that I went out on a date with thought I'd be taller although I told her my exact height-5'3". She said she was a bad judge of height and didn't know what 5'3" looked like . I've never lied to any of these women about my height and they always had a current picture of me.

Bottom line, if you're attractive, you'll have a decent amount of dating options, regardless of "confidence." It also amazes me how rude people can be if they don't consider you attractive. Our society really sucks sometimes.