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Here is what I honestly think. I think that you're a master of revisionist history. The average person marries someone he or she doesn't love. They then proceed to stay in a 40-year "miserable" marriage, during which time they acquire real property and other assets. Not to mention have children with that person.
ZOMG, really --?
You claim this entire marriage was a "mistake", and yet your actions suggest a very specific intent. I don't believe that your marriage was as miserable as you claim. Were there problems? Yes, definitely. Maybe moreso than the average couple's problems. But I highly doubt that you were that miserable for all of those years, otherwise you would have left much, much sooner.
I think that you realize that you have more years behind you than you do in front, you're freaking out about it, and you want a big life "do over". You lack the honesty and basic integrity to admit this to your wife or to yourself, so you're justifying your poor behavior by asserting 40 years of purported "misery."
You had no good reason to marry her at all. Why did you even get married in the first place or divorced sooner. Your reasons are just bad excuses. You really had no business having children with your wife. You took away your wifes whole life and held her hostage in a bad marriage. It's too little too late. It's time for you to start as acting like a grown up and not a man in midlife crisis.
I got married because at the time as long as two people got along, she was reasonably pretty, a good housewife, that was enough to get married. This all "we're madly in love" thing is a very modern thing.
We had children because we both wanted them, there isn't much to say about it.
I didn't hold anyone hostage, don't speak as if I was poiting a gun at her throughout all these years.
I'm trying to fix it now. Yes, it's a little too late but better late than ever.
Good. You may need to support her for awhile and help her get through this.
As I mentioned at this point It becomes more of a business relationship on how to split assets and end the relationship.
You both may need to downsize into smaller less expensive homes. Does she have sisters or brothers that can give her support ? Her family (not kids) can be a big help.
Yes, she has 2 brothers who can surely help her as well.
You claim this entire marriage was a "mistake", and yet your actions suggest a very specific intent. I don't believe that your marriage was as miserable as you claim. Were there problems? Yes, definitely. Maybe moreso than the average couple's problems. But I highly doubt that you were that miserable for all of those years, otherwise you would have left much, much sooner.
I think that you realize that you have more years behind you than you do in front, you're freaking out about it, and you want a big life "do over". You lack the honesty and basic integrity to admit this to your wife or to yourself, so you're justifying your poor behavior by asserting 40 years of purported "misery."
Just MHO on the matter.
Of course there were good times as well but not so many related to us both. They mostly have to do with our children. I never said I was miserable, we had a very good life but we were far from being a couple.
Yes, I want to spend the years I have enjoying the life I've always enjoyed but couldn't have because I was married. Yes there something that terrible about it?
Yes, I want to spend the years I have enjoying the life I've always enjoyed but couldn't have because I was married. Yes there something that terrible about it?
No, nothing. As long as you can drop the victim attitude and admit to yourself that you should feel guilty and that it comes to a terrible cost to your wife; that you continue to support her to make it up to her in some small way; and that you never, ever do it again to anyone else now that you know better.
No, nothing. As long as you can drop the victim attitude and admit to yourself that you should feel guilty and that it comes to a terrible cost to your wife; that you continue to support her to make it up to her in some small way; and that you never, ever do it again to anyone else now that you know better.
Hopefully.
I have no intention of staying together with anyone again. Women that stay with men my age are looking for money.
I have no intention of staying together with anyone again. Women that stay with men my age are looking for money.
You are delusional. You want your wife to find someone new, and I assume that means someone your/her age. Does that make her a golddigger too? Your logic is messed up.
You are delusional. You want your wife to find someone new, and I assume that means someone your/her age. Does that make her a golddigger too? Your logic is messed up.
Oh I was just referring to younger women.
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