Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think your sentiments are more than admirable and you (not dissimilarly from others I've known over the years) handled your own separation/divorce civilly and were able to remain at least civil with your ex. Obviously the OP would love such to happen in his case - but he's been quite forthright about the fact that he never loved his wife, had countless casual affairs over the years and seems to not give much of a damn about anyone other than himself and then as a rather far second, his children. This would be one case where I'd love to see the wife get over the delusion, develop one huge backbone and sock him for everything he has! His whole attitude so rubs me the wrong way. Phew!
You've already told us that you had more than one woman throughout your marriage, and your wife even looked the other way during your multiple affairs.
We never really talked about it until we separated but I'm sure she always knew. She never said a word about it, though. That must have been because the kids were small, I don't know.
By that line of thought, 95% of all population that has ever been born...wouldn't have been born. They are here now and have a mother and father who love them dearly. My kids must be the only good thing I did in my life.
Besides, what do you know about me as a father to say such thing?
Many people should not be having children and aren't prepared to raise them. A man who does not love their mother and sleeps around with prostitutes is not good father material. You should not have brought innocent children into this world, doing what you do and feeling how you feel. You do not act like a grown man and don't take responsibility for your actions.
Your mind must be stuck in the 1950s. My parents married out of convenience. That doesn't have to be that way anymore.
But marrying someone you admittedly never even liked is reasonable? Judging from your vivid description in your first post you married for precisely the same elements of "convenience" as did your parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlonzoHelmt
We never really talked about it until we separated but I'm sure she always knew. She never said a word about it, though. That must have been because the kids were small, I don't know.
Likely because her parents were like your parents and, even though unhappy, stayed together for "the sake of the children". Precisely why you stayed too until deciding, after close to four decades and the children were grown, that there was greener grass to be had - the grass which you frequently tasted even while married.
It's unlikely that you'll ever have the chance to enjoy a relationship based on like, love, friendship and true communication. But, hey, you produced these great kids despite all. One can only hope that the morbid relationship legacy will eventually be broken for the sake of their children.
We never really talked about it until we separated but I'm sure she always knew. She never said a word about it, though. That must have been because the kids were small, I don't know.
Of course she knew, which is why your claim that divorce is needed because you need sexual variety is a lie. Just like the lie you told yourself about how she at 60 will meet a new love of she'd just accept the situation.
It's pretty clear that the divorce needs to happen, I am just saying stop telling lies to make yourself feel better. What you are doing SHOULD make you feel uncomfortable. This isn't supposed to be easy.
Last edited by GraciousVox; 01-06-2014 at 12:02 PM..
It was wrong of you to stay with her for 40 years and have children with her when you never loved her and disrespected her throughout her marriage. Now she is what, 60+?
You stole the best years of her life, I don't think she will find it easy to just breeze off and start anew, unlike yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmericanBannedStand
Contrary to what your post suggests, women are not hapless victims with no agency over their own lives. This woman could have left 10, 20 or, h*ll even 30 years ago. Not saying OP is an angel, but the responsibility for this situation is 50/50.
Considering the circumstances, I think it's unfair to blame the ex-wife. She was led onto believe about the prospects of marriage- unconditional love, commitment, and devotion.
If somebody knows deep inside they cannot and will not want to be with one woman and one woman only, they need to make it CLEAR from get-go.
If he wanted out since the beginning, and her heart was in it, then the act of being led on is the worst betrayal anyone can endure.
As he explained in his first post he never even wanted "in" from the very beginning. He married because "everyone else" was doing it, didn't even like the woman. His parents taught him well and I'd be curious to know how his children's marriages will fare given the history.
So, see above, sign it over to her and if money is still owed on it then keep making the payments and pay the taxes and whatever else is required to maintain the property. That way she can continue to enjoy it as can your children and their children.
I either sign the property to her but she doesn't get half of my savings or she gets her half but has to give me half of the house as well.
I either sign the property to her but she doesn't get half of my savings or she gets her half but has to give me half of the house as well.
Dare I even ask why? If you're not making all this up then you seriously are what we call, "a piece of work".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
One can only hope that the morbid relationship legacy will eventually be broken for the sake of their children.