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That's the catch tho.. Most of us are located in the US, where the courts favor equitable arrangements. Is there anyone here from Italy that can weigh in on this? For all we know, she may be left penniless without this SOB's "pension" to keep her afloat.
Are you a US person, and are we talking a US marriage? Just your comments on this forum alone are enough to make your life a living hell for at least a decade...not to mention financially break you to nothing. Don't be quite so bombastic.....it isn't over until it is over, and this is just beginning.
No, I'm not in the US. You don't understand, I was already advised by a lawyer when I changed the account settings. No one can get any money or information from my account without permission from the 2 holders (my brother and I). No court can do it unless you're talking about corruption or money laundering. Like I said, you don't get to my age without learning a few things.
If she wants the house to be her property, fine, find a way to give me my half. Only then I'll give her half of my savings.
No lawyer in the world can contest my account settings. It's a perfectly legal method of protection.
How sad that you feel you have to "protect" yourself from your nonworking, penniless doormat of a wife who has given all of her time and resources completely to you for 40 years asking nothing more than to stay married.
Give her the house, a lump sum and her independence. Continuing to control her with an allowance for the rest of her life is just cruel.
No, advice on how to deal with the current situation. She even asked me if I wanted to send my clothes to "our house" for the maid to take care of it. She sent me a Christmas gift and I told I didn't want anything. She basically treats me like I'm still her husband (and I am but just in the paper).
Have some pity on her. You ripped the rug right out from under her and now you expect her to bounce back up and move on with her life as easily as you have. Be civil with her, but also don't give her any false hope. It's going to be tough on her but I really feel the best thing for her is you to be a non-factor in her life. She has my sympathy; you do not.
Have some pity on her. You ripped the rug right out from under her and now you expect her to bounce back up and move on with her life as easily as you have. Be civil with her, but also don't give her any false hope. It's going to be tough on her but I really feel the best thing for her is you to be a non-factor in her life. She has my sympathy; you do not.
Sadly, you can't give what you don't have.
And our OP has no compassion, no empathy, and no clue how ugly what he has done and is doing really is.
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
2,307 posts, read 2,769,139 times
Reputation: 2610
I don't know what to say in this situation.
In a way you are partially to be blamed since it took you long time to "discover" yourself.
I really feel bad for her.
She is probably in her 60+ now and it is not easy for her to just move on especially after 40 years of marriage.
I am sorry that you are both in this situation. But I am more sorry for your ex-wife.
As bad as it sounds, you should just stand on your ground.
Please do not be mean to her when she sends those text messages. But do be patient again explaining the situation. I hope in time, she will understand the situation.
So you are tri-lingual? Your English sentence structure and use of colloquialism is very good. Do you speak Swiss German?
I lived 5 years in Britain as a young man. Both Swiss German and Standard German (grandfather was from Berlin and settled in Switzerland to escape retaliations).
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