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I think preferences can hold people back from experiencing attraction when they are more mentally created standards (often influenced by some external standard of beauty or sexiness) than natural responses you've noticed a pattern for in yourself.
I learned long ago I can find a much wider variety of people attractive than my "ideal" if I'm open to it, and in fact, it haas broadened & varied my ideals a lot. Finding someone attractive is NOT the same thing as finding them aesthetically beautiful.
I think everyone has deal breakers or certain turn-offs for appearance, but yeah, it becomes unreasonable if you're expecting someone flawless or nearly so. It's not even a matter of hypocrisy, but responding to people as whole persons & not just a set of certain body parts & features.
As have I. I was harsh, so what? this is how humans communicate, or at least one angle.
eh? I don't know what that means, but then I'm a human being not the Second Coming.
er... OK. But yeah, frankly he claims to be a mature person but doesn't understand others' choices don't and shouldn't affect him.
er.. lol.. I'm saying his point is nonsense. The only difference is I was "harsher" than others, but still the same sentiment. I don't know who died and made you the Almighty, but then who cares about a harsh tone expressing a common sentiment? Anyhow, you've made a good laugh for me this evening, so on to planning better things for myself, and you being offended of one facet of human communication.
I don't care whether you were harsh like fine-grit sandpaper, or soft like a bag of marshmallows...and for the record, I ain't never, not ever, thought of myself or referred to myself as 'the Almighty', either here or offline
Whether you like it or not, you seem to belong to this wave of mouth-flapping, name-calling, overly hormonal nimrods that have invaded here, thinking that because they're young and have a big loud mouth and an allegedly big schlabonga, that they know everything, and anyone who dares to dispute their overall magnificence is a 'spineless mangina white-knighting beta-manlet pig'
Yeah, right...and like I said before, the OP had an opinion, whether I agree with him or not...and you are within your rights to disagree with said opinion, or even disagree with me, for that matter, mere mortal that I am
But when you start questioning people's manliness, or start chucking about silly 4th grade names on a chat forum, you gain about as much credibility as, say, a roll of toilet paper left outside during a monsoon---which equals none
'Begone, base twit...thy ceaseless prattling remindeth me of a freshly-shorn goat, and maketh about as much sense'
eh? Learn proper English grammar if you want a reasoned response. I get you're offended, but then if you're not healthy/normal, then remain so. I don't care about your rant, which reeks of insecurity as it is (as evidenced by your use of the terms "Almighty", "beta-manlet", mangina, etc.) I don't even use inane words like "mangina" in the real world lol.. This is further evidenced by your referencing a thread I made about dick size, but whatever. Your issues are your own and not those of a stranger online in a different country...
eh? Learn proper English grammar if you want a reasoned response. I get you're offended, but then if you're not healthy/normal, then remain so. I don't care about your rant, which reeks of insecurity as it is (as evidenced by your use of the terms "Almighty", "beta-manlet", mangina, etc.) I don't even use inane words like "mangina" in the real world lol.. This is further evidenced by your referencing a thread I made about dick size, but whatever. Your issues are your own and not those of a stranger online in a different country...
Son, I've forgotten more about proper grammar in the last 15 minutes than you'll know in your entire life
You can come on here barking and yowling about what you don't care about til you're blue in the face...and offended isn't the proper term here
It's more like utter amazement that you think that someone is insecure because they have the utter temerity to call you on your bulls**t as if you are above criticism, or that someone is 'ranting' for the same reason---in THIS country or any other...I'm as healthy and normal as they come, thank you very much, so you need to try a new approach
Or, the white woman who categorically refuses to consider dating a black man regardless of what kind of person he is isn't a racist--that's just her preference.
Does anyone see what I am getting at here?
I wonder if these racial preferences are organic or the product of systematic conditioning. Under this theory the predominate reason most singles prefer a certain race partner is because the media or family values have conditioned them to believe that certain races are better matches for them.
I don't really have a racial preference. I do, however, PREFER special forces military guys, although being a special force guy is not my only preference. I have this unique preference due to the fact that my own brother was a force recon Marine. I have been exposed to the Marine corps culture when I was so young and I have been so convinced that special force guys are all like my own big brother and his recon team mates. Boy or boy was I wrong. I have met several military guys who are absolutely aholes. Just because somebody wear that uniform, doesn't mean they are automatically a role model or a moral leader. But do I always have a soft spot in my heart for military boys? Absolutely yes.
I think it is not very wise to judge other people's preference. We don't know what happened in their lives to make them believe or think a certain way. When I think about my future partner, I always think about a Mixed Asian or a white guy, something I am familiar with. All the men in my life have always been awesome, great guys. It is kind of silly to exclude certain group, occupation, etc. Life is too short to hold on to resentment, prejudice.
For those who claim that they won't date a certain race due to physical attraction, my suggestion is they should go out more, see the world. There are so many beautiful people in all races.
I was brought up to believe that decent human beings occasionally question their own motives and cross-examine their own attitudes. I was taught to ask myself, from time to time, am I being fair? Am I being reasonable? Am I being selfish?
Sometimes, it seems to me people try to get around doing this kind of introspection by using the phrase, "it's just my preference."
So, for example, the 54-year-old, 300 lb. man with a bald head and high blood pressure who only wants to date slim, sexy 20-somethings with long, wavy hair isn't a delusional hypocrite--that's just his preference.
Or, the white woman who categorically refuses to consider dating a black man regardless of what kind of person he is isn't a racist--that's just her preference.
Does anyone see what I am getting at here?
Um, yeah. You somehow think people can force themselves to be attracted to certain types just because YOU think it's somehow fairer.
Right. Good luck with that.
I like who I like. Period. And I could not care less what someone else thinks about my preferences.
Son, I've forgotten more about proper grammar in the last 15 minutes than you'll know in your entire life
hmm... OK.
Quote:
You can come on here barking and yowling about what you don't care about til you're blue in the face...and offended isn't the proper term here
It's more like utter amazement that you think that someone is insecure because they have the utter temerity to call you on your bulls**t as if you are above criticism, or that someone is 'ranting' for the same reason---in THIS country or any other...I'm as healthy and normal as they come, thank you very much, so you need to try a new approach
lulz.. I don't care. I don't also believe this, but there you go. I sensed you were insecure based on your wording, but meh.. not my issue.
Another thing I thought of (despite being "harsh" per the views of insecure men lol..) is why must I use "introspection" (granted, a normal and healthy trait to have) in the midst of preferences? I like what I like. How is having likes and inclinations evil now? I like large boobs, and long black hair, eek..I'm worse than Stalin! If a less endowed blonde or brunette doesn't like it, tough.
People seldom are introspective, even when it's in their interest to be so. If somebody likes x, and they enjoy x and x generally works out for them, more power to them. Whining and moaning about others' choices or selections won't do IMO
I think rogerpark was talking about racial preference. If a white woman claims that no matter what, she wont' date a black guy even though the black guy is highly successful, good looking even according to that woman's standard, she still wont' date him because of the color of his skin. it is pretty safe to assume that she is at least a bit narrow minded. I won't call her evil, stupid, a racist though because she is not hurting anybody.
Yes, you want to force people to be so open-minded that everyone will date a person based on personality alone. There will be no such preferences regarding race, religion, physical attraction, social class, age, education. Am I forgetting anything else?
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Newsflash, Part Deux
You Just Don't Get It
