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Old 03-14-2014, 01:44 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 1,377,152 times
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Take down that poem. It's really cheesy.
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,790 posts, read 9,148,562 times
Reputation: 21904
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
But you don't have to hide it. That's what was meant up-thread by saying that your profile should be inclusive, not exclusive. You can mention your interests without sounding like a snob.
^^^This. The whole point of your profile is to attract people, not repel them.
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Old 03-14-2014, 03:23 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
17,808 posts, read 14,675,235 times
Reputation: 35540
I wouldn't put there that you don't need a career oriented girl. That just attracts losers (minimum wage part time workers who live with their parents and don't know what to do with their life).
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Old 03-14-2014, 04:31 PM
 
Location: My House
34,792 posts, read 31,180,774 times
Reputation: 25940
I think your poem is fine. Just correct the spelling and grammar. People who like poems don't like bad spelling and grammar (in general... cast a wide net). You may not want to lead with telling them you'd write them a love poem, because you're not dating them yet... just mention that you enjoy writing poetry.

Also? OKCupid is a DEPRESSING site. I am so glad I'm not single at 46. Damn... I flipped through a few of the profiles and even the dudes my age (and older!) wanted to date women under the age of 35.

Why does a 53yo dude expect to land 35yo chicks? Sheesh, bruh.

I did see some my age that would date women their age or maybe a year or two older, so that's a plus, but it's funny because the gap for dating older seems to increase the YOUNGER a dude gets. The older they get, the more picky they get which is hilarious... and I'd say the same about women who got older and pickier about stuff like age so I'm not gender bashing here.

And people wonder why women are dating younger men now...well, there ya go.
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Old 03-14-2014, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,409 posts, read 27,572,231 times
Reputation: 16548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Random question, how important is the books/music choice? Some of these seem superficial, unless I'm supposed to draw an inference about someone based on their choice of reading material. It never really occurred to me that anyone would care what I'm reading, or that it would be worthwhile mentioning on a dating profile.

Not too important at all. I will sometimes look at the music section to see if they have a band listed there that I like and I can mention it in a message. I'm not basing any decisions off a person's book or music choice though. It's just something I can add to a message.

I have to be honest, I rarely judge a person by their profile. I make almost 0 conclusions of a person based on their profile alone.. Unless there's something that repulses me, like the negative people, talking about being hurt in the past by bad guys, what they hate in men, also things like the OP had.
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Old 03-14-2014, 05:35 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
10,095 posts, read 18,330,162 times
Reputation: 14634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artifice32 View Post
I am inflexible when it comes to books and movies I spent most of my youth reading the classics of literature, theology and philosophy i.e. the Decameron (which is the original Canterbury Tales) Homer, The Bhagavad Gita, The Upanishads, The Buddhist Sutras, Plato, Socrates, Hegel, Kant, Dickens, Lowe, Elliot, Cather, Woolf...I've read it all.

This is the part of me that I hide from others. I genuinely hide it, so I know I have to hide it in my profile which makes me sad.

The same goes for movies. When I watch a movie it's not fun. I just see a bunch of imposition of values, a bunch of rhetoric. Paul Thomas Anderson is the only writer/director who makes literature on film.

But I must hide this...I know...this makes me sad but, but, but I'll hide it.
NO! Sorry Arti and you're probably still sore at me for saying you look like a zombie in your pic and then I made a post saying you don't really look like a zombie and are quite good looking but for some reason it never posted. So there--you are actually quite handsome though you need better pix all the way around. Keep the first one so you can laugh about it in a few years with your SO.

But I will disagree with those who said that about taking your lit and movie tastes down--though first I should ask: are you looking for sex or a relationship? If mostly sex, then take it down and keep only fluff. If a relationship, then keep that which is most important to you and that you will not budge on. Lit is obviously very important to you so keep it, though maybe word it a little less snobbishly, if you know what i mean. The poem could go too, but use your writing skills to impart the info you want to get across in your profile--you only have a few words to sell yourself so use them judiciously and save the poems for that special woman after she's special.

One way we could maybe help is if you tell us what qualities you're looking for in a woman. And I'm sorry again I made you feel so bad.
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Old 03-15-2014, 10:48 AM
 
1,744 posts, read 984,977 times
Reputation: 3400
i don't think he should take down what he likes to read or the movies he likes to watch. however, he should reword it for sure. say that you like all the classics, prefer them, really enjoy reading them. whatever. but don't make it sound so, well as others have said, snobby. same with movies. are you really so inflexible with movies that you won't see anything else? because that's pretty rigid and you might have a very hard time finding someone who will only like to see those movies with you and nothing else. but...maybe not. what do i know.

again, good luck.
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Old 03-15-2014, 10:58 AM
 
867 posts, read 775,204 times
Reputation: 814
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
NO! Sorry Arti and you're probably still sore at me for saying you look like a zombie in your pic and then I made a post saying you don't really look like a zombie and are quite good looking but for some reason it never posted. So there--you are actually quite handsome though you need better pix all the way around. Keep the first one so you can laugh about it in a few years with your SO.

But I will disagree with those who said that about taking your lit and movie tastes down--though first I should ask: are you looking for sex or a relationship? If mostly sex, then take it down and keep only fluff. If a relationship, then keep that which is most important to you and that you will not budge on. Lit is obviously very important to you so keep it, though maybe word it a little less snobbishly, if you know what i mean. The poem could go too, but use your writing skills to impart the info you want to get across in your profile--you only have a few words to sell yourself so use them judiciously and save the poems for that special woman after she's special.

One way we could maybe help is if you tell us what qualities you're looking for in a woman. And I'm sorry again I made you feel so bad.
No, Ms. Stepka this zombie is not sore for being a zombie but even zombies need love I kid, I kid. No thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. Thanks for being so sweet! I know the risk I take by putting myself out there but your comments and everyone else's comments were helpful. Thanks again.
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Old 03-15-2014, 04:07 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
2,788 posts, read 3,368,379 times
Reputation: 3263
I'll give you my two cents, but feedback should come from the type of woman you're looking for. What I may dislike, others may in fact just love!!

The poem, IMHO, put a link to it. That way, people who want to read it, truly, will go to it and probably comment back to you on it. That way, you know they appreciate it for what it is. For me, I didn't even bother reading it and just scrolled past it after I stopped shaking my head at the cheesiness of it. I wouldn't mind if a guy wrote poetry to me, I just don't want to see it on a profile. If they're interested, they'd click on the link. Like they would the music one.

As for the books.....as long as you don't push your likes onto me, I wouldn't do the same to you. Book genres is very personal, IMHO. I just like a man who reads....actual books.

As for movies, does that mean you wouldn't ever go see a movie that a woman wanted to see.....even if it's not directed by Paul Thomas Anderson? If that's the case, then leave it as is, then a woman knows she'll never see a movie with you. If that's not the case, you may want to change it up a bit. Personally, I don't see a ton of movies, but if a man point blank told me that line, I'd probably rule him out. Why? Because it's a red flag that he's too rigid in his thinking and I'd wonder if he'd ever do anything he didn't like.....for me. It seems like you're an adventurous guy as that's what the rest of your profile suggests....just not in the book/movie section. So are you that rigid in these areas? Or not? You may need to clarify a bit.

I admit. I judge men/people on their writing skills. But I try not to let it sway me. You have some errors on there, not sure if you want to fix them or leave them as is. Otherwise, I wouldn't think twice. I skip profiles that have really bad writing or grammar.

My biggest absolute LOVE of your profile? The age range of women you're looking for. If a man's range starts in the low 20's, I usually pass (I'd be looking at guys 35+). Men with ranges like that, I dunno, there's a mindset when a man is willing to date a 20-something when he's pushing 40, and I prefer not to be involved with that mindset. So I really like that your range is small and very close to your own.

I also like that the "what you're looking for section" isn't a huge list of don't this or that. Just simple and obviously you're open to meeting people.

And now I'm just curious, what in the world is a Taki? LOL.

It's not a bad profile. If I was looking, you probably would have lost me at the book/movie/music section due to the tone of the writing and the fact that I'm really not into live music at all. LOL. Okay, and the poem. But otherwise, I probably wouldn't discount you, I'd probably think, well maybe, gotta check it out first. "Don't want kids" is a huge plus.

Oh and if you're okay with the woman having kids, then you could write that in the section for what you're looking for. You could just add onto to the don't want kids and say, "but it's okay if you have some already" or something.
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Old 03-15-2014, 05:34 PM
 
867 posts, read 775,204 times
Reputation: 814
Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
And now I'm just curious, what in the world is a Taki? LOL.
OK, in Southern California--I'm not certain in the rest of America--we had the Hot Cheetos Phenomena. Kids were eating Hot Cheetos left and right and it made news when schools started to ban them. The Hot Cheetos Phenomena was replaced by the Takis phenomena--another brand of chips. Takis are a thousand times spicier than Hot Cheetos; it's an acquired taste. I have nephews who introduced me to Takis so every so often I'll buy a bag.

Here is a funny video done by a local radio station in California. You will like the guy he is Psycho Mike and most women consider him certified hot and funny. Watch it and you too will be updated regarding the Hot Cheetos/Taki phenomena in California.

Hot Cheetos - YouTube
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