Has a guy here actually never pursued a woman before? (dating, girlfriend)
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This is a thread for the guys here, but women can chime in. I am a man who has never approached a woman in his life. However, I did have one woman come up to me but it didn't get to a 3rd date because we weren't compatible. It was my choice to stop talking to her. I will say that I don't have any experience with women besides 2 kisses and 2 dates in my life. I know some of you all are married or dating someone but are there any guys like me on here who have never pursued a woman before?
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Yeah, I'm one. I want it to start out as a close friendship and transition into FWB and then transition from that into LTR. Usually what happens though, I am friends with them, or I know them, and they find out I like them through someone else, or from me but in the wrong way, and they feel "uncomfortable" and wish never to speak with me again.
The first female friend whom I ever informed of my feelings, we were both 13, and she didn't feel "uncomfortable" but also just wanted to be friends. Unfortunately I lost the paper where she wrote her address and phone number, on the last day of eigth grade, since she was going to a different high school. Later on, another girl whom I met in college, she was 27 and I was 20, and we met because she was talking to our teacher about colonizing Mars, and I joined in and said it was a favorite subject, and we talked about 20 minutes a day, twice a week for three months, but then I joined the Navy, and I finally decided to tell her that I thought of her often, but nothing came of it. She lives in Florida now, we are friends and she is on my facebook but we live on opposite coasts, and we each have obligations keeping us here, and she doesn't have any romantic feelings about me anyway, that I know of.
Apart from those two, the other 4 I have liked, including three since 2013, felt uncomfortable and didn't want to talk anymore.
I don't feel comfortable doing it the conventional way because it would involve many people coming into my life temporarily, judging me unworthy, and leaving. It would feel like being back in the schoolyard with bullies.
At least you've kissed a girl though, I've never done that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Heck no, I've been pursuing them since middle school and hope I darn well never stop (unless I meet "the one" if they exist). There is no way I'd stop enjoying all life has to offer unless I have no choice.
Yeah, I'm one. I want it to start out as a close friendship and transition into FWB and then transition from that into LTR. Usually what happens though, I am friends with them, or I know them, and they find out I like them through someone else, or from me but in the wrong way, and they feel "uncomfortable" and wish never to speak with me again.
The first female friend whom I ever informed of my feelings, we were both 13, and she didn't feel "uncomfortable" but also just wanted to be friends. Unfortunately I lost the paper where she wrote her address and phone number, on the last day of eigth grade, since she was going to a different high school. Later on, another girl whom I met in college, she was 27 and I was 20, and we met because she was talking to our teacher about colonizing Mars, and I joined in and said it was a favorite subject, and we talked about 20 minutes a day, twice a week for three months, but then I joined the Navy, and I finally decided to tell her that I thought of her often, but nothing came of it. She lives in Florida now, we are friends and she is on my facebook but we live on opposite coasts, and we each have obligations keeping us here, and she doesn't have any romantic feelings about me anyway, that I know of.
Apart from those two, the other 4 I have liked, including three since 2013, felt uncomfortable and didn't want to talk anymore.
I don't feel comfortable doing it the conventional way because it would involve many people coming into my life temporarily, judging me unworthy, and leaving. It would feel like being back in the schoolyard with bullies.
At least you've kissed a girl though, I've never done that.
I don't get why people make such a big deal about kissing a girl lol.
Heck no, I've been pursuing them since middle school and hope I darn well never stop (unless I meet "the one" if they exist). There is no way I'd stop enjoying all life has to offer unless I have no choice.
There are other ways to enjoy life that don't involve approaching women.
I'm in my mid 30s, never had a girlfriend or even a female friend. I'm a low status male (I make 16,000 a year) with a awkward personality so I see no point approaching females as I have no bargaining power.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
There are other ways to enjoy life that don't involve approaching women.
Sure, but why would anyone stop doing any one of them? It isn't the ONLY thing I do, far from it.
It's just a natural part of life.
What I don't understand is guys here posting how they've never had a gf, never had sex, never date, never this, never that. Then they post how they're ok with not doing that and really don't care that they're different, or other such nonsense. What is the point?
So you don't date and don't want to. Great. Go ahead and do what ever you want to, or not. No one really gives a darn.
This is a thread for the guys here, but women can chime in. I am a man who has never approached a woman in his life. However, I did have one woman come up to me but it didn't get to a 3rd date because we weren't compatible. It was my choice to stop talking to her. I will say that I don't have any experience with women besides 2 kisses and 2 dates in my life. I know some of you all are married or dating someone but are there any guys like me on here who have never pursued a woman before?
I've honestly never pursued a woman. I've never had the chance to. There were a couple of times when I came close. Usually at that point, I find out that another woman was pursuing me, usually much hotter than the one I was getting ready to pursue.
Fear of rejection is the main thing keeping you guys back. I have learned that sometimes you have to just go after what you want. Talking about it gets you nowhere. I started off by going to supermarkets and department stores and introducing myself to the the most attractive cashier at the particular store I was in. It is as simple as going to the checkout counter....saying hello....and then asking how her day has been. You are a customer and 99% of the time the realize they have to be nice to you.
(1) Start off with short 1 or 2 minute conversations. Work on your facial expressions in their mirror.
(2) Smile and try to be as nice as possible to those around you. Open doors, say hello, and work on getting comfortable communicating with others.
I am sure You guys have a lot to offer a woman. You just don't realize how valuable you are at the moment.
(3) If you don't see it (CONFIDENCE/SELFWORTH) then the women you interact with won't see it either.
I coach a lot of young men, adult men, etc and teach them how to develop confidence and learn to be comfortable with communication. Inbox me if you guys would be interested in setting up a session.
Last edited by usamathman; 03-17-2014 at 01:03 PM..
Sure, but why would anyone stop doing any one of them? It isn't the ONLY thing I do, far from it.
It's just a natural part of life.
What I don't understand is guys here posting how they've never had a gf, never had sex, never date, never this, never that. Then they post how they're ok with not doing that and really don't care that they're different, or other such nonsense. What is the point?
So you don't date and don't want to. Great. Go ahead and do what ever you want to, or not. No one really gives a darn.
Why respond so angrily if you don't care? Anybody can post about whatever they want.
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