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I think I should be honest with her. If I've found someone else, why shouldn't I say it? She's going to fnd out later anyway and it will be worse for her. She's not a child from whom you have to hide the truth.
I personally agree with most on here and feel very sorry for both of you. You seem very cold and detached.
Why don't you suggest a trial separation or move out and let her get used to the idea?
Saying you're not happy is a bit better than throwing the other woman in her face.
Make sure this other woman is just after your assets, no matter what she says. I personally have seen cases where the wife got wind of the husband cheating and very quickly got assets quit claimed to them and in a few cases, the other woman seemed to lose interest very quickly.
I also would think twice about your children's reactions. You will be very surprised.
Also think very deeply about why you want to throw this other woman in her face. Do you feel rejected by your wife?
If you get to the point, sit down, sort out your assets, meet with an attorney, get it done and that way, you will save money there if you agree. But, if you make it nasty and bring the other woman into it, it could get extremely nasty and you spend a ton.
Not in a million years. I also worked for it and want my part. She doesn't have any more right to it then I do. I doubt you would say the same thing if she was a man.
As the breaker of vows, you are in a weaker position. Certainly do not give her everything, but relent to her requests.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lmw36
I don't really see a reason to rub salt in the wound by telling your kids you found another woman. They are your kids, they don't need those kinds of details for why you are leaving their mother.
As for when to tell the wife? I think she'll feel equally as betrayed whether you wait three months or three years.
Another reason I don't believe in "staying together for the kids". I'm a child of divorce. My parents got divorced when I was about 14. It was rough for a few years, but thank GOD they did when they did. I can't imagine them hanging on to that crap for 10 more years. As far as I'm concerned, it should have happened by the time I was 5. I was damaged more seeing an unhealthy relationship, my relationship with both of them strengthened when they finally got their own lives apart.
I agree with you 100%. My parents warred with each other on rare occasion throughout my childhood and they divorced when I was 3. I could not imagine 15 years of that every damn day in the same house. If you don't want to be married a person, why around with it? You can make a rational plan for raising children as co-parents and not romantic partners if they are both committed to parenting their children.
As the breaker of vows, you are in a weaker position. Certainly do not give her everything, but relent to her requests.
I received many assets from my father before I got married and we have a prenup. Besides, I've got savings in Switzerland she doesn't know about. She can have her half anytime.
And if that's true -- chances are your wife is just as done with you as you are with her. She may be just staying in it for the lifestyle and money and as long as she gets her fair share, she'll be glad enough. Especially if you've been cheating - very often the victim spouse knows full well -- but they decide they really don't care about that. It becomes a marriage of convenience. You really can't always assume the spouse you're cheating on doesn't know a thing -- adulterers are usually not nearly as clever in their lies as they think they are.
I wish her all the best for the rest of her life and I know she also doesn't like me anymore. She was far too devoted to our children. No attention left for me after the youngest was born. Therefore I doubt this will come as a great surprise to her.
I wish her all the best for the rest of her life and I know she also doesn't like me anymore. She was far too devoted to our children. No attention left for me after the youngest was born. Therefore I doubt this will come as a great surprise to her.
Wow, "too far devoted to your children"? Mod cut: name calling that is just inexcusable behavior
Wow, "too far devoted to your children"? You poor bastard, that is just inexcusable behavior
It's like I stopped existing after the last one was born. She always busy with them even when they were perfectly fine. There were always excuses not to be with me. Like I said, I've only stayed this long because I didn't want my kids to be fatherless most of the time.
Gee, a Swiss bank account! Well, since you seem to have everything figured out, what do you need us for?
Is this the way you relieve your boredom?
He should. It is the third time he has stated this thread.
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every damn day in the same house. If you don't want to be married a person, why 
