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I think you are doing really well to maintain your composure under these circumstances. A short term stay is usually under 3 weeks. Staying until a house sells in todays market could be a long time. The lack of privacy would be driving me up a wall... Time to talk with DH and set a date for the friend to find other arrangements. Good luck
He's in your house, so why don't you just tell him how you feel? You can discuss it first with your husband and tell him how you feel and what you plan to do. If hubbie baulks or makes excuses, then just tell him very rationally and sotto voce that you feel you have no choice and you would hope he would back you up.
It doesn't have to be an outright confrontational situation but sometimes people don't realize how their statements and actions come across to others and clearing the air in a non-confrontational manner can work wonders. Your guest is in your house but allowing your angst to fester does neither of you - nor your relationship with your husband - any good. Don't spit it out, just talk it out rationally. Cheers!
If someone is staying that long and inviting family over for Christmas, he needs to be paying rent. I hope he is paying for all the groceries and taking you out to nice dinners. If not, then you need to ask him to leave or start compensating for his stay. You are not a doormat to start taking care of your husbands friends.
If someone is staying that long and inviting family over for Christmas, he needs to be paying rent. I hope he is paying for all the groceries and taking you out to nice dinners. If not, then you need to ask him to leave or start compensating for his stay. You are not a doormat to start taking care of your husbands friends.
Just my 2 cents.
Greenie
Or at the very least chipping in for food and utilities. I know they're trying to sell their house, but it sounds like he's taking advantage of your good graces! Get him a extended-stay hotel room for Christmas!
Thanks everybody. Maybe I was Jewish in my past life? Heehee
Anyway, the one thing I told hubby when I agreed to all this was, "I want a time frame," and guess what hubby didn't do? You got it, ask how long he was going to to stay. In hubby's defense, he did say Guest said when they sell the house, which will possibly be end of January. Although not a "good enough" answer, if by the last of January Hubby doesn't give me an update, I will take matters into my own hands and will not feel guilty.
And no, hubby doesn't think Guest is overstaying. Honestly, typically I would not be bothered but I like to see an "end date" so I can count the days so to speak. You just can't be "yourself" when guests are around, you know? It's hard to maintain "best behavior" status for prolonged periods of time!
A spa weekend sounds greeeeeat. Actually, I'm heading to L.A. this weekend by chance and perhaps I can persuade my girlfriend to take me to one of those foo-foo L.A. spas! (although what spa isn't foo-foo?!)
Thanks for letting me vent!
FOMA!!! If you are driving from AZ to CA you HAVE to pass through my area!!! You should stop by - we have TONS of faboo spas here in the Coachella Valley!!! Bring your friend and I can do spa day with you guys before you head into LA to continue your spa-trek!!!
I love the idea of the caravans arriving! I can volunteer a group of leather dykes I know....or how about some drag queens? Wouldn't that be a blast if he opened the door and there was (a) Miss LaTrina Bidet and his entire court, while in the background about 14 leather dykes on Harleys are revving the engines in your driveway!! LOL .... I love it!!!!
A lot of it is about attitude, and this sounds like he is not appreciateive of the hospitality. The one time we had a houseguest of hubby's for about 4 weeks prior to relocating, he went out of his way to not only take us out to dinner, but offered to do chores, and even bought things like toilet paper. I cracked up and said "Tom you don't need to buy us toilet paper" and he replied "I know it's hard having house guests for a long period and I just want to try to be low-impact guest." I thought that really set a standard for courtesy.
I love the idea of the caravans arriving! I can volunteer a group of leather dykes I know....or how about some drag queens? Wouldn't that be a blast if he opened the door and there was (a) Miss LaTrina Bidet and his entire court, while in the background about 14 leather dykes on Harleys are revving the engines in your driveway!! LOL .... I love it!!!!
I'm in the Palm Springs area, one of the gay capitals of the world, so I can round up a few caravaners too!
We currently have a long-term guest in our house. He's hubby's friend and he's moving down here for a job. No big deal 'cuz we like the fam and they are just waiting for their house to get sold before the kids and wife come down, too. In the mean time, he is staying with us ... going on week 3 now.
Well, there hasn't been anything too outwardly annoying other than having to take care of two boys instead of the typical one. Yes, I am aware that I am calling grown men boys but prove me otherwise b'c men are s-l-o-b-s and now I am dealing with TWO. The good hostess in me, however, is just letting it go. Afterall, he is a guest.
What bothers me, however, is how freakin' outspoken he is. I know, it's totally stupid but the other day we were talking about how JK Rowling outed Dumbledore. All three of us agreed it was stupid b'c it just makes the whole series take a different spin. I proceeded to say, "I'm not anti-gay but come come on, making Dumbledore gay is just silly. Now you're going to have all these scense with just Dumbledore and Harry seem awkward." Guest says, "Well, I am anti-gay and I'm sick and tired of gays trying to convince me that being gay is OK." He continues on about his religious beliefs, how gays are horrible blah, blah ... blah.
I don't know why but I was just really annoyed. You are in my home as my guest eating my food and sleeping in the bed that I own using up my water and my electricity (which he's one of those that doesn't turn off the lights!) and you are going to tell me about how awful gays are when I just told you i'm NOT anti-gay?!?!?! What the hell?! I chose to keep my mouth shut b'c we don't exactly have a lot of friends and part of the reason he moved here was b'c of Hubby's friendship so I didn't want to make things awkward for later. I know how outspoken he is and guest is just being himself but I've come to realize that I like the guy only in small doses. Seeing him day after day and listening to his over-opinionated speeches on a daily basis is just getting to me!
Anybody want to give me advice as to how I can keep my cool? I'm afraid I'm just going lose it and lash out!
Three weeks? That's nothing. I've had my "long-term guest" here since October 1st driving me insane.
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Time to talk with DH and set a date for the friend to find other arrangements. Good luck
