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Work on the social anxiety, which is going to impair all aspects of life: making and maintaining friendships, getting and keeping a job, dealing with people day to day, and so on. Learn how to regard and talk to women as human beings, rather than sexual conquests or romantic candidates.
Ironic as it is, it helps shyer, less successful men to approach the matter as if all women were romantic candidates.
If you think of them as friends first and get to know them slowly and over time, almost all of them will reject you. It's the path of 90% of shyer men. We hear it every single day here. I met her, I fell for her, she didn't feel the same. Hundreds, thousands of times.
You cannot go both ways because women will never let their sure interest be known (to these type of men at least) without the man making a move first. You need to pick the friends first or the aggressive route. And there is no question in my mind which works best for these types of guys.
BTW, when women reject a man for being too aggressive and making their interest known too soon, that's not the man screwing up only. That's the woman screwing up too. You could have had what was potentially a great guy but passed it up because he came on too soon?
BTW, when women reject a man for being too aggressive and making their interest known too soon, that's not the man screwing up only. That's the woman screwing up too. You could have had what was potentially a great guy but passed it up because he came on too soon?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Awkward + anxious + aggressive = creep.
Being aggressive doesn't magically take away the awkwardness. It just makes it much more noticeable.
And, if the woman likes the guy, she's probably more willing to overlook a bit of awkwardness. If she's not really into him, that aggressive awkwardness just pushes him further into the "nope" category. Not everyone is attracted to everyone else, so it's not necessarily that a "potentially great guy" did something wrong or that the woman has screwed up and missed out.
Guys shouldn't ask for advice from women period, feminist or not. Befriend a man who is successful with women
I disagree. I had a friend whom was successful with women. He didn't have to do anything and they would come to him. He had a different woman every night. Even when he had girlfriends and a fiancée women kept lining up to be notches on his bedpost. All this attention made him an arrogant, self absorbed, jackass. I found nothing worth emulating in his behaviors.
And, if the woman likes the guy, she's probably more willing to overlook a bit of awkwardness. If she's not really into him, that aggressive awkwardness just pushes him further into the "nope" category. Not everyone is attracted to everyone else, so it's not necessarily that a "potentially great guy" did something wrong or that the woman has screwed up and missed out.
I'm talking about women who reject a man they might otherwise have liked or at least given a chance because he made his interest known too early in the game.
Ironic as it is, it helps shyer, less successful men to approach the matter as if all women were romantic candidates.
If you think of them as friends first and get to know them slowly and over time, almost all of them will reject you. It's the path of 90% of shyer men. We hear it every single day here. I met her, I fell for her, she didn't feel the same. Hundreds, thousands of times.
You cannot go both ways because women will never let their sure interest be known (to these type of men at least) without the man making a move first. You need to pick the friends first or the aggressive route. And there is no question in my mind which works best for these types of guys.
BTW, when women reject a man for being too aggressive and making their interest known too soon, that's not the man screwing up only. That's the woman screwing up too. You could have had what was potentially a great guy but passed it up because he came on too soon?
If you have enough options, I guess no loss.
Same for unattractive guys, as we have to play the numbers game even moreso, so we can't spend a ton of time getting to know individual women, unless we think there is a good chance of it turning into a successful relationship.
Being aggressive doesn't magically take away the awkwardness. It just makes it much more noticeable.
On the flip side, if you're not aggressive (moreso talking about assertive) and you're not in the top half of attractiveness, you will get nowhere as a guy in the dating world.
Same for unattractive guys, as we have to play the numbers game even moreso, so we can't spend a ton of time getting to know individual women, unless we think there is a good chance of it turning into a successful relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh
On the flip side, if you're not aggressive (moreso talking about assertive) and you're not in the top half of attractiveness, you will get nowhere as a guy in the dating world.
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