Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think it's too easy, and as if life hasn't given them enough of a challenge, they strive for even more. When the obvious is in your face, I don't know what the harm is in at least trying it.... it's worth a try, especially for those who fall deeply for someone because they are acknowledging them.
I feel like this is a major issue with feminism in that although women have become more empowered in society and the workplace, women generally have the same expectations and tastes in men as they did 100 years ago. I know personally of some feminists who are exceptions and wouldn't mind having their husband be a stay-at-home dad who's more into shopping and spas than sports and BBQ, but I feel like most women would still not be happy with a man who's pretty-looking, empathetic, but lacks self-confidence and assertiveness.
Does this attitude make me a misogynist?
sort of a selective attitude, because women have become empowered, they are supposed have different expectations and tastes for men? I don't get a feeling that you celebrate the fact that they are more empowered, it almost feels like you want to see a change in the way they choose men, just because they have basically become more independent. In actuality, I would think that women would be more selective, since they don't need a man to live a fruitful life.
Oh I do celebrate the fact that they are empowered. But if they are a career woman aiming for the top, and look down on men who have simple life goals like being an ever present dad for their kids, and only look for men who are equally or more assertive and confident and ambitious as they are, they are really setting themselves up for being single for life. Not that there's anything wrong with being single for life if that is their intention. I'm sure there are some women who need men only as much as a fish needs a bicycle, more power to them. But if they want to get married and have kids, are they ever going to find somebody who will meet their standards? Will the female 6' tall CEO with an MBA earning 6 figures be happy with a 5' 8" tall regular office worker w/ a BA making $40K a year who is happy staying in his non-managerial job until he retires?
This is why you have the phenomenon of "super-moms": women who have a full-time career and are also the full-time parent. Not a lot of women can do this without burning out. If more women looked for men who could fill the parent role that traditionally all women did when they had kids, you wouldn't have this problem.
Why don't socially awkward men try to date socially awkward women? You can help each other, discover that you can feel like a normal person, that you are able to enjoy a healthy relationship, just like the one's you've yearned for. But that's too obvious, so instead you shoot for the sky, and expect to use magical techniques to score a woman? There is no wand that will magically get you there. It's a combination of many things, but the basics are that you have to improve yourself. Just flush all the negativity that you project to people you approach. Being socially awkward with zero experience in true relationships will always be a handicap if you are trying to date women who have experience. You will have better luck trying to learn about dating by dating another socially awkward/shy/inexperienced person, and together, you can educate yourselves on what it takes to be a good partner.
This is a wonderful suggestion. The only issue then would be how one would go about identifying a single and available, socially awkward woman.
Oh I do celebrate the fact that they are empowered. But if they are a career woman aiming for the top, and look down on men who have simple life goals like being an ever present dad for their kids, and only look for men who are equally or more assertive and confident and ambitious as they are, they are really setting themselves up for being single for life. Not that there's anything wrong with being single for life if that is their intention. I'm sure there are some women who need men only as much as a fish needs a bicycle, more power to them. But if they want to get married and have kids, are they ever going to find somebody who will meet their standards? Will the female 6' tall CEO with an MBA earning 6 figures be happy with a 5' 8" tall regular office worker w/ a BA making $40K a year who is happy staying in his non-managerial job until he retires?
This is why you have the phenomenon of "super-moms": women who have a full-time career and are also the full-time parent. Not a lot of women can do this without burning out. If more women looked for men who could fill the parent role that traditionally all women did when they had kids, you wouldn't have this problem.
You celebrate it, but label women in a negative light with the comment about looking down on men....when in fact, all they want is a compatible male who is their equal financially.
Although there are plenty of ladies who wouldn't mind a guy who stayed at home and took care of the household, the women who don't seek the same, are looking down on them? Don't think so, it sounds more like the typical "they do this" and "they do that" blame game.
Let put a different spin on this.....you make the example of the 6' CEO with the MBA, with the 6 figure salary and that she may not even consider the shorter guy with the low salary, you had a tone that was resentful, like they do look down on them....it seems the socially awkward/shy/nervous do the same, and still have the resentment to women. Probably 70+% of the guys who have never dated before, are setting their sights way too high. I'll ask again on this thread....why don't socially awkward men date women who are as socially awkward as they are? Why don't they have realistic goals, and view dating as a learning experiences that can lead to very positive results. Look around, there are many forms of disabilities. from blindness to being a Little person...they tend to date among their community. Of course they can date the average person, but it's rarely. Why? Probably because that's the demographic they identify with, and feel most comfortable approaching....
This is a wonderful suggestion. The only issue then would be how one would go about identifying a single and available, socially awkward woman.
approach and talk with her with a friendly demeanor, and then ask. Because both are shy, they can understand the way the other may feel. Look at it as an advantage, you know how it feels to have anxiety, so approach her as if you were approaching yourself. I would think that a socially awkward woman is easy to pick out of the crowd. She may be in the back of the room, or with a bunch of her equally awkward friends. I'm sure that if guys would turn their attention towards looking for them, you will notice them all around you. I have been just noticing their large presence in the city. A lot of them ride public transit, see them at the BART terminals downtown, she will typically not make eye contact, looking at their books, phone, or ground. And they don't necessarily wear the latest fashion.
This is a wonderful suggestion. The only issue then would be how one would go about identifying a single and available, socially awkward woman.
I think it would probably have to happen online.
But the thing is, because of the way dating works (men approach), the socially awkward women probably stand the same chance as non socially awkward women of being approached or finding someone, provided they're pretty or fulfill most of the criteria about what most men want from women.
Work on the social anxiety, which is going to impair all aspects of life: making and maintaining friendships, getting and keeping a job, dealing with people day to day, and so on. Learn how to regard and talk to women as human beings, rather than sexual conquests or romantic candidates.
A woman can have social anxiety or social awkwardness and she can still be successful in other aspects of her life, such as job and career, etc.
A woman can have social anxiety or social awkwardness and she can still be successful in other aspects of her life, such as job and career, etc.
To any greater extent than a man? I doubt it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
