Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hey just to be clear, I don't have personal investment in this thread because I'm getting married in August, thank you very much.
I already have my own ways of getting to date women that upon asking my feminist sister, are apparently incredibly misogynist and anti-feminist (I disagree) but have allowed me to get to know some nice women and most importantly, to meet my now fiancee. I'm interested in feminist-friendly advice for other people, having more than a couple of male friends who are in their mid twenties and haven't had a real relationship before. I want these people to have some PRACTICAL advice. Not just general behaviors that are obvious to anyone who isn't a psychopathic monster or living under a rock, like treating women like human beings and knowing them as individuals. These people have female friends but have problems going from mere platonic relationships to something more, and treating them the way that they treat their guy friends isn't getting them anywhere.
Please try to see things from a socially anxious guy's point of view. One who isn't a Nice Guy with an entitlement complex but has found that simply treating women like human beings has given him quite a few female acquaintances and even some casual friends, but no one who sees him as dating material.
So this is more an issue with you assuming that your sister speaks for all feminists.
The problem is that some of guys who post these "socially awkward" threads do have some kind of emotional issue that is best worked out on a couch. Social anxiety is a psychiatric condition, one that needs therapy.
Others are just making excuses. They talk about how they have great jobs and then say they can't find women. Well, if they can function at work, and interact with people at work, they can interact with women. It IS because they are seeing women in a one-size-fits-all approach that they have issues. That is not the psychiatric problem of social anxiety. That is just sexism.
And again, there are no magic formulas. What appeals to one woman may not appeal to another.
Why don't socially awkward men try to date socially awkward women? You can help each other, discover that you can feel like a normal person, that you are able to enjoy a healthy relationship, just like the one's you've yearned for. But that's too obvious, so instead you shoot for the sky, and expect to use magical techniques to score a woman? There is no wand that will magically get you there. It's a combination of many things, but the basics are that you have to improve yourself. Just flush all the negativity that you project to people you approach. Being socially awkward with zero experience in true relationships will always be a handicap if you are trying to date women who have experience. You will have better luck trying to learn about dating by dating another socially awkward/shy/inexperienced person, and together, you can educate yourselves on what it takes to be a good partner.
Lol..thats what i was thinking...like, ur asking people who will never like men anyway, what they think would make a man a better man?...lol...the answer is in the question...
Perfect example of someone who can't be arsed to think of people as individuals. I'm a feminist, and I think men are groovy. I've had long-term relationships, short-term relationships, had casual flings, been married, left my marriage on a good note with my ex, been on hundreds of dates with dozens of men over the course of my life (heck, probably before I got out of my 20s), will date and establish a relationship again when I'm ready and in a good place for it. Don't confuse feminists not liking men who think like you with feminists not liking men in general.
Perfect example of someone who can't be arsed to think of people as individuals. I'm a feminist, and I think men are groovy. I've had long-term relationships, short-term relationships, had casual flings, been married, left my marriage on a good note with my ex, been on hundreds of dates with dozens of men over the course of my life (heck, probably before I got out of my 20s), will date and establish a relationship again when I'm ready and in a good place for it. Don't confuse feminists not liking men who think like you with feminists not liking men in general.
But go on. Do tell me who I like.
I'm sure you like men, but a feminists advice to men on dating is utter nonsense. Every time I read a jezebel article advising men what to do or not to do, I laugh at the silliness, knowing full well the majority of the advice would directly DECREASE attraction.
Although I do love the occasional snippets where they unwittingly admit they dig what some of us call "game"
Just further proof that many women say one thing but truly want / are attracted to another.
I'm sure you like men, but a feminists advice to men on dating is utter nonsense. Every time I read a jezebel article advising men what to do or not to do, I laugh at the silliness, knowing full well the majority of the advice would directly DECREASE attraction.
Although I do love the occasional snippets where they unwittingly admit they dig what some of us call "game"
Just further proof that many women say one thing but truly want / are attracted to another.
I would say that most women are feminists in the true sense of the word and movement. However, I would venture a guess that just because one identifies as a feminist if asked that they would not agree with all other feminists nor look for the same things in a man as all other feminists. Women are all different - even feminists!
Personally, my advice for socially awkward people would be to try to put themselves in more social situations so that they get used to being around people and talking to people. The more comfortable they are in their own skin around other people - the better their chances of dating will be. That's just my 2 cents.
I would imagine feminists are probably more open to dating shy men, etc... I would probably prefer to date a feminist because there wouldn't be all of the usual baggage of them expecting me to behave like an 'alpha' or whatever it is women want nowadays.
Most of the people who are unreasonable about how things 'should be' aren't feminists but women who are just bitter about men, or who have gladly reaped the benefits of feminism without ever bothering to realize that clinging to old fashioned expectations about what a man should be isn't going to work if they want to be a strong, career-minded modern woman.
I would imagine feminists are probably more open to dating shy men, etc... I would probably prefer to date a feminist because there wouldn't be all of the usual baggage of them expecting me to behave like an 'alpha' or whatever it is women want nowadays.
In theory yes, but feminists are exposed to the same pressures and societal influences as other women are. Expecting feminists to like shy men is like expecting egalitarian pro-feminist men to like ugly women with great personalities.
Quote:
Most of the people who are unreasonable about how things 'should be' aren't feminists but women who are just bitter about men, or who have gladly reaped the benefits of feminism without ever bothering to realize that clinging to old fashioned expectations about what a man should be isn't going to work if they want to be a strong, career-minded modern woman.
I feel like this is a major issue with feminism in that although women have become more empowered in society and the workplace, women generally have the same expectations and tastes in men as they did 100 years ago. I know personally of some feminists who are exceptions and wouldn't mind having their husband be a stay-at-home dad who's more into shopping and spas than sports and BBQ, but I feel like most women would still not be happy with a man who's pretty-looking, empathetic, but lacks self-confidence and assertiveness.
Does this attitude make me a misogynist?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
