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I really like the woman I have been dating for the past two months. When she returns from vacation, I plan on having the talk about making our relationship official.
However, one day shortly after our first or second date, I was drinking with a good friend and reminiscing about former love interests and girlfriends. I brought up a woman who I met during an internship across the country in grad school four years ago. At the time, I had a girlfriend back home and there was no way I'd ever cheat on someone. Nonetheless, she seemed like the most compatible woman I ever met. I ended up breaking up with that girlfriend two years later. Anyway, my friend asked to see her on facebook since I talked so highly of her. One thing led to another and he ended up writing up a short message, which I approved, and it was sent to her.
I'm a rare facebook user but was prompted by a friend to check out an unrelated photo on facebook yesterday. It was the first time I logged in since sending the message, 6-7 weeks ago. I noticed I had a reply from her shockingly, but I never read it. I don't remember what I even said in the initial message. I'm sure she still lives across the country so nothing could really ever come of it regardless of what the message said. For all I know she might be married, engaged, or have children. I also don't want to screw things up with the girl I'm dating now.
I feel like I should probably just delete the message without reading it. The thought of reading it makes me feel very guilty, even though my initial message was sent before a relationship was established with the girl I'm dating now. There is really nothing it could say to change my life in any way, but I'm so curious. I hadn't spoke to her since the internship, so it could have come across creepy. Taking a step back, sending the message was strange on my part. Anyway, am I cheating if I read the message? Should this make me feel guilty? Should I just delete it?
I really like the woman I have been dating for the past two months. When she returns from vacation, I plan on having the talk about making our relationship official.
However, one day shortly after our first or second date, I was drinking with a good friend and reminiscing about former love interests and girlfriends. I brought up a woman who I met during an internship across the country in grad school four years ago. At the time, I had a girlfriend back home and there was no way I'd ever cheat on someone. Nonetheless, she seemed like the most compatible woman I ever met. I ended up breaking up with that girlfriend two years later. Anyway, my friend asked to see her on facebook since I talked so highly of her. One thing led to another and he ended up writing up a short message, which I approved, and it was sent to her.
I'm a rare facebook user but was prompted by a friend to check out an unrelated photo on facebook yesterday. It was the first time I logged in since sending the message, 6-7 weeks ago. I noticed I had a reply from her shockingly, but I never read it. I don't remember what I even said in the initial message. I'm sure she still lives across the country so nothing could really ever come of it regardless of what the message said. For all I know she might be married, engaged, or have children. I also don't want to screw things up with the girl I'm dating now.
I feel like I should probably just delete the message without reading it. The thought of reading it makes me feel very guilty, even though my initial message was sent before a relationship was established with the girl I'm dating now. There is really nothing it could say to change my life in any way, but I'm so curious. I hadn't spoke to her since the internship, so it could have come across creepy. Taking a step back, sending the message was strange on my part. Anyway, am I cheating if I read the message? Should this make me feel guilty? Should I just delete it?
Thanks for giving me a moment.
You only feel "guilty" because in your gut you are hoping she expresses some interest.
But no, it is not "cheating" to read her response to your message.
I highly suggest you do it and get it over with.
If she does express interest you have some decisions to make.
If she doesn't express interest you have some questions to answer for yourself about your real feelings for this new lady in your life.
You only feel "guilty" because in your gut you are hoping she expresses some interest.
But no, it is not "cheating" to read her response to your message.
I highly suggest you do it and get it over with.
If she does express interest you have some decisions to make.
If she doesn't express interest you have some questions to answer for yourself about your real feelings for this new lady in your life.
Good luck!
I'm curious but not overwhelmingly so. A good portion of the curiosity is attributed to the social experiment of messaging someone I only briefly knew years ago and seeing how they respond.
I attribute the guilty feeling to my strong interest in the new girl. I would never want to do anything to screw it up or hurt her. I understand commitment during relationships. I really wish I had never sent the message.
But I don't understand how you let your friend coax you into sending a message he wrote.
I think the message said something like I think about you from time to time or something along those lines. It was a pretty benign message that indicated some interest. Again, I do over analyze and am prone to feeling guilty.
Read it. Then report. Then we can give you actual advice.
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