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Even if I wanted to, I can't imagine a scenero where it would work out long term after the fact.
It goes beyond understanding why it happened, I can understand people's motivations just fine.
It is the fact they purposefully disrespected what we where trying to build together and undermined everyone and everything to achieve it.
It's a complete loss of respect and trust...i can't be with someone who I don't posses respect for. Losing faith in trust is just another layer on top of that.
A few years before we got married, my wife and I discovered that we didn't have "normal" views on relationships. We were both really adventurous people and had very high sex drives, and one day we found ourselves having a threesome with another girl, and then more threesomes with different girls. Eventually we tried out swinging, which led to her having a regular girlfriend on the side, which finally evolved into a full blown open relationship after we got married. Several years of marital bliss so far, and expecting more. We share each other and enjoy it.
That said, we are 100% open and honest with one another. Always. Our kind of relationship doesn't work without complete trust. So if she ever had sex without someone else, man or woman, and kept it from me, aka cheated, I would never forgive her. Sex is normal and healthy and I don't care if she sleeps with a guy or girl she thinks is hot, but to lie about it violates the trust that a marriage is built on. Without trust, everything is different.
So no, I wouldn't stay with her. I would still love her, but our relationship would never be the same. One day our exciting lifestyle will slow down and we'll settle into a more "normal" marriage, but to get there we'll have to keep being 100% honest with each other. All spouses should strive for 100% honesty.
Can you spell, 'dysfunctional'? I predict your funny marriage will fail ultimately and you and your strange wife will require some time with a shrink if you ever expect to have a normal relationship.
Can you spell, 'dysfunctional'? I predict your funny marriage will fail ultimately and you and your strange wife will require some time with a shrink if you ever expect to have a normal relationship.
Just MHO.
Thanks for your honest opinion. I understand most people can't handle our lifestyle and that's ok, it definitely isn't for everyone.
So if MrsCPG had gone on business trip with a colleague, gotten lit with him, wound up in the sack, and came home to confess all, then I would be seriously pissed but the marriage would likely survive after some major-league counseling, not to mention a lot of trust-building on her part to repair the damage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba
That makes you a doormat. And if you get mad at that, then don't go around saying the rest of us are just talking with bravado just because we'd act differently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
You're single aren't you? Because it's pretty clear that what you know about marriage would fit on the head of a pin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycich
And it seems like, based on things you say here, you're a doormat and that's probably why yours isn't temporary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Again, the reading comprehension needs work on your part. My marriage has lasted quite a long time because there's mutual respect, thanks. That seems to be a concept that's beyond you.
Sorry but you are a doormat if you were to stay with a woman who slept with a colleague on a business trip.
A few years before we got married, my wife and I discovered that we didn't have "normal" views on relationships. We were both really adventurous people and had very high sex drives, and one day we found ourselves having a threesome with another girl, and then more threesomes with different girls. Eventually we tried out swinging, which led to her having a regular girlfriend on the side, which finally evolved into a full blown open relationship after we got married. Several years of marital bliss so far, and expecting more. We share each other and enjoy it.
That said, we are 100% open and honest with one another. Always. Our kind of relationship doesn't work without complete trust. So if she ever had sex without someone else, man or woman, and kept it from me, aka cheated, I would never forgive her. Sex is normal and healthy and I don't care if she sleeps with a guy or girl she thinks is hot, but to lie about it violates the trust that a marriage is built on. Without trust, everything is different.
So no, I wouldn't stay with her. I would still love her, but our relationship would never be the same. One day our exciting lifestyle will slow down and we'll settle into a more "normal" marriage, but to get there we'll have to keep being 100% honest with each other. All spouses should strive for 100% honesty.
I couldn't have that kind of relationship but I know some people do and it works for them, I say good for you.
Just a couple of friends, the rest I was in school with, or work with....I think there may be a lot of tough talk with the hell no crowd, but even with you guys being very vocal with your opinion, there are just as many, or many more guys who would try to work it out. It's shows no character to call people who try to work out a relationship because of some infidelity, doormats, or any other ridiculous name, as if they were weak. It actually shows strength to forgive and work through such a blow to a relationship. Maybe it's weak to just blow up because your feelings are hurt, and tell them to GTFO. It might be beneficial to discuss and find out why it happened, bet some would find a whole different perspective of themselves.
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Originally Posted by Ro2113
You've cheated on some guys haven't you?
Definitely. Just look at her language and the level of delusion, you're strong if you forgive a woman that cheats and conversely you're weak if you don't.
Definitely. Just look at her language and the level of delusion, you're strong if you forgive a woman that cheats and conversely you're weak if you don't.
Almost a month ago I caught my ex banging some guy in her apartment. She wanted a second chance, I told her to f**k off. I haven't heard from her since. If she cheats once she will cheat again. I will never stay with a woman who cheats on me. If I ever get married (doubtful) and my wife cheats, divorce will be swift. I'm no doormat for any woman.
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