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A lot of people do lip service about the world population when the reality is they just don't want kids. And that's fine. I just don't understand the need to pretend it's on moral ground--just say you don't want kids, don't say it's because it somehow makes you "better."
People who are really concerned about world population do something about it (not just "not have kids"). The way to get the world population at a good sustainable level includes a lot of help to poorer nations where the birth rate is very high for a multiple of reasons (usually leading back to poverty... people have a lot of children so some live because they are so poor healthcare is horrible that they have as many as they can so "some live"... people having a lot of children to work the farm because the are so poor they can't afford machinery... people having a lot of children because they are so poor it's the only way to ensure they are taken care of in their old age).
While a few first world nations lowering their population by not having children won't hurt, the real solution to population overgrowth is helping our poorer brothers and sisters in third world nations lift themselves out of poverty and desperation and poor living conditions. That takes money and work. If you aren't contributing either, in the long run, you aren't really helping much (if at all).
A lot of people do lip service about the world population when the reality is they just don't want kids. And that's fine. I just don't understand the need to pretend it's on moral ground--just say you don't want kids, don't say it's because it somehow makes you "better."
People who are really concerned about world population do something about it (not just "not have kids"). The way to get the world population at a good sustainable level includes a lot of help to poorer nations where the birth rate is very high for a multiple of reasons (usually leading back to poverty... people have a lot of children so some live because they are so poor healthcare is horrible that they have as many as they can so "some live"... people having a lot of children to work the farm because the are so poor they can't afford machinery... people having a lot of children because they are so poor it's the only way to ensure they are taken care of in their old age).
While a few first world nations lowering their population by not having children won't hurt, the real solution to population overgrowth is helping our poorer brothers and sisters in third world nations lift themselves out of poverty and desperation and poor living conditions. That takes money and work. If you aren't contributing either, in the long run, you aren't really helping much (if at all).
I don't remember seeing anyone here saying they don't want kids because the world is overpopulated. Pretty sure we were just responding to someone who called someone evil just because they didn't want kids.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
A lot of people do lip service about the world population when the reality is they just don't want kids. And that's fine. I just don't understand the need to pretend it's on moral ground--just say you don't want kids, don't say it's because it somehow makes you "better."
People who are really concerned about world population do something about it (not just "not have kids").
+1000!!!!
Quote:
The way to get the world population at a good sustainable level includes a lot of help to poorer nations where the birth rate is very high for a multiple of reasons (usually leading back to poverty... people have a lot of children so some live because they are so poor healthcare is horrible that they have as many as they can so "some live"... people having a lot of children to work the farm because the are so poor they can't afford machinery... people having a lot of children because they are so poor it's the only way to ensure they are taken care of in their old age).
Well, National Geographic recently had an issue about farming in Africa. It said the land in Africa isn't used properly because there is so much war and poverty. Apparently 90% of the land in Africa which could be used for growing food is not used. There was a graphic out there somewhere showing that if the entire population of the world lived with the density found in New York City, we only take up the land area of Arizona. So it's not population, it's the way the population lives. The world could sustain a lot more people.
Quote:
While a few first world nations lowering their population by not having children won't hurt,
Actually it could hurt, because most of the G7 countries already have a low birth rate. If anything, 3rd world countries need to lower their birthrate while G7 countries need to raise theirs. But like I said it's not the number of people, but how they live.
I think it depends how old the kids are. Grown up and left home is fine with me but I don't want someone with young kids. I've had mine, they're grown ups now, I have no intention of doing it again. The whole dynamics of mixed families and stepmothers is fraught with delicate balancing acts. My husband has a daughter but she isn't part of his life. We are completely free and it's fantastic.
I would date a guy with older kids, say age eight and up, but little kids, especially babies and toddlers, work my last nerve and I can't stand to be around them for more than twenty minutes. In some instances, I would actually prefer a guy to have kids because I don't want any of my own and this way he already has the whole kid thing out of his system.
I always wonder where this assumption come from that you will be raising someone else's kids. No one else is raising my child but me and her dad... maybe I am not typical, who knows. But it really gets me that people think this. I find the whole idea that some man thinks he's going to have that much say right off the bat to be very presumptuous and maybe a little offensive (implying he thinks her dad and I, for some reason, can't do it ourselves).
Anyway, you asked single parents for their input to, so here it goes. I am divorced from my child's dad (he left me when he came out of the closet). But there isn't much drama in my life at all. My ex (my child's dad) and I get along really well for parenting purposes. Heck, we get along better now than when we were married, lol. We have joint/ 50/50 custody, although the reality of things is, I have our child 80% of the time. This does impact my ability to date, but I just make the most out of that 20%. I've also hired sitters on occasion (never for a first date, but for when I've dated a few times).
I am not interested in a man to "raise my child." Now, if you are going to think of dating as a means to marriage... I should note that I am not interested in re-marriage at all. I am interested in someone who can be a friend and lover. Not ruling out marriage, but it's not a goal of mine (if that makes sense). At best, at it's most extreme, a man who is dating me might play the same role in with my child as maybe an uncle or something. But most likely, the interact would probably be similar to the way my friends or other children's parents interact with my child.
Having a child hasn't lowered my standards, it's raised them. I will check criminal background now... something I never really did before. I am much more cautious when it comes to character as well... because it's not just me I need to worry about. And I also tend to prefer men with kids too--I want someone else who understands what it's like without making a bunch of stereotypical assumptions. Most of most men my age or in the age range I date are divorced with kids too if they are single. But it hasn't stopped men who have no children from asking me out and vice versa... with me, the man also being a parent is just a preference, not a necessity.
Men I date don't seem to care that I have a child and it hasn't been an obstacle at all to getting dates--planning dates might be challenging sometimes, but we can usually work around it. Then again, like I said, most men I date are also divorced single fathers (with a few exception of some divorced men who have no children). So they "get it." If men don't want to date me because I have a child, that's their choice/preference and I really don't care. Like I said, doesn't seem to effect me in the least bit.
Very well said some times I was thinking my self too why people are thinking that having a child is a drama. May be they think that they have to take over Biological dad ship or what ever.
These kind of threads are weird to me, maybe I am really just that different from most people. While I am married now 2 of the 3 girls I dated before I met my wife had kids. The last 1 was actually getting pretty serious until she got a nice job offer in another state, which doubled her pay and paid for her to move. She asked me to go with her, but I was happy with my job and did not want to leave my friends and family.
Kids do not change if a girl is a drama queen, they are drama queens with or without kids. Fact is the single moms I dated were actually better relationships than the non parent girls, they did not harass me constantly about working to much, they never complained that my friends and family were too important to me, or that I was more worried about saving money as opposed to buying more junk.
They also do not want you to raise their kids, sure they may occasionally have money problems, but for the most part they are looking for the same thing we all are, they want someone that they enjoy being around and that will be good to them. Someone that will support them emotionally while also allowing them to be themselves and have fun. They are the parent, not you, the child has another parent, that is also not you. Most understand that, and in fact do not really want you to take part in any kind of parenting with the child especially for the 1st few years.
Plus most mothers are not as clingy especially early in the relationship. I am a very independent person, even after 15 years it still occasionally causes problems with my wife. In my experience when dating most single mothers are busy with their kids and their lives, so when I happened to decide to go to a game with my brother or cousins, than as long as I am not breaking plans with them they did not really care.
The biggest problem that some people seem to really have problems with is that you will never be the number 1 priority in your girls life (well some may make you the number 1 priority but I would question that girls morals), but if you can handle that it is actually not a big deal. The girl I married did not have children but it never would have been a deal breaker for me if she would have.
wow people like you exist too. After reading many negative comments I am happy to read at least a comment like this. A man with a wise brain.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,027 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David
Actually, both contribute.
No, the population isn't that high. It is a question of how we use resources.
If anything, G7 countries need to increase their birthrate and 3rd world countries need to decrease theirs. But really it is about the technology used to handle all the people.
Pollution isn't caused by overpopulation. it is caused by the population using the wrong sources of power and the wrong types of transportation.
May be they think that they have to take over Biological dad ship or what ever.
Or maybe we just don't want a biological dad in the picture.
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