When A Guy Is Rude To A Woman But Still Wants To Interact With Her? (sociopaths, therapy)
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So you don't think he's like a sociopath or anything? Such as the other poster mentioned? It's ok, and I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong, but, I just find it fascinating the extremes in opinions.
I have noticed also that he seems to shrivel up when I walk near him and immediately flushes red. *shrugs* yeah! he's definitely immature.
He may be a sociopath. Sociopathy is basically a giant defense mechanism at the core. But the point is, clearly he feels threatened by you in some way - you are a threat to his self/ego - otherwise he wouldn't be lashing out at you like that, trying so hard to dominate you.
He sits far away from me (like I have the cooties) and sometimes rolls his eyes at me, but always manages to stare me up and down?
He acts disinterested (looks at his watch like he's checking the time because he has to go) but turns around and asks to drive me home??? Only to look at his watch when he drops me off again? Like I'm a bother?
He tries to bully me around and tell me what to do only to shut down on me and not speak to me once I get fed-up and put him in his place?
I know it sounds so High School and we ARE adults, but, can someone please tell me wtf is going on, here?
We have really good conversations and he is always complimenting me and watching me and I can tell he enjoys my company, however...
We're not friends, just associates, but he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like he can't stand me. I never initiate anything with him (and certainly not romantic)...at least not anymore. I'm just afraid he is going to try and hurt my feelings.
What is this about/should I do?
He does it RIGHT now, but you want him anyway ...
Don't be so easy - stop talking to him, don't let him drive you home, turn around and walk out when he is there. That's what you should do. Otherwise he will continue with those games.
You are no friends. He is NOT your friend. Let him know you are not interested. Period.
Sociopath... jerk... game player... who knows what his issue is. But it sounds like you'd be better off staying away from him since he makes you feel bad. Life's too short to put up with people who make you feel badly.
This. He's playing games with you, OP. Emotionally abusive games. Getting involved with someone like that would turn your life into a living hell. Keep your distance.
The reason you're somewhat intrigued is that his behavior is inconsistently rewarding, so it can be kind of addicting. Like gambling, which is designed to have intermittent rewards so that people keep trying for a win, and occasionally they get one, so they keep at it, he's giving you occasional positive feedback, but he makes sure to deliver that sandwiched inbetween slaps in the face. See the pattern?
I see.
This is very helpful. Someone told me it's his way of trying to control. I will keep my distance.
It's actually not funny. He's rude and he makes you feel bad, I don't see any humour in that situation or people like that. You feeling attracted to him is a sign you need to work on some self esteem building. Moons should accept poor treatment from others.
You're right. It's not funny, but it's almost as if you become jaded after dealing with this stuff for so long. *shrugs*
He may be a sociopath. Sociopathy is basically a giant defense mechanism at the core. But the point is, clearly he feels threatened by you in some way - you are a threat to his self/ego - otherwise he wouldn't be lashing out at you like that, trying so hard to dominate you.
Personality disorder or not, he's messed up.
Right and I think I know why:
Basically, he's the handsome "it" guy that every girl goes crazy over. I have not. Ever. Was not attracted to him in the least and then one day out of the blue, he starts working his way in. A little something here. A little something there. It's like he caught me off guard.
For the most part, I'd like to think I'm pretty confident and always put myself together well. Not the smartest chick, but I've got some intelligence about the world, I have degrees, knowledge of culture, etc.
Not trying to sound like I'm better than him or anything, just stating a possible theory as to why he could be behaving like this towards me? Or maybe he senses my inferiority complex, lack of relationship experience...
There's always hope for a better relationship, you don't have to accept this kind of bull****.
Thanks Djuna. I needed that bit of scolding.
I remember years ago my pastor's wife suggested I see a therapist about my inferiority complex/self-esteem issues as it relates to relationships. I laughed it off all this time but now I realize how right she was as I seem to keep attracting the same type of guy.
Basically, he's the handsome "it" guy that every girl goes crazy over. I have not. Ever. Was not attracted to him in the least and then one day out of the blue, he starts working his way in. A little something here. A little something there. It's like he caught me off guard.
For the most part, I'd like to think I'm pretty confident and always put myself together well. Not the smartest chick, but I've got some intelligence about the world, I have degrees, knowledge of culture, etc.
Not trying to sound like I'm better than him or anything, just stating a possible theory as to why he could be behaving like this towards me? Or maybe he senses my inferiority complex, lack of relationship experience...
Sound plausible?
Yup. That's it. It bugged him that you weren't attracted to him, so he started trying to manipulate you. And it gives him a warped satisfaction that he's managed to hook you a little, and that he can keep your attention while treating you badly at the same time. It's like he's punishing you for having not been attracted to him, while still getting the satisfaction of knowing he could attract you in spite of yourself.
He's a sicko.
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