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It's time. I don't know why I waited so long. Guess I thought this was an area of my life that would eventually iron itself out. So much for trying it my way. Guess it's time to actually see someone.
You may have to try out several different therapists. Some may see it as "just" a dating issue, and may counsel you on a superficial level. If you want to get down deep, you'll have to look for someone who does that kind of work. Hypothetical example: if there are abandonment issues in early childhood, that could be causing the self-esteem issues. So you'd need to find someone who works with family-of-origin issues, as opposed to someone who just gives dating advice and general self-esteem advice, if you see what I mean. Psychologists are better equipped than MSW's (social workers), but not all psychologists deal with childhood issues, abuse, abandonment, whatever. And among those that do, they have different methodologies. There's a big learning curve involved in choosing a good therapist.
You may have to try out several different therapists. Some may see it as "just" a dating issue, and may counsel you on a superficial level. If you want to get down deep, you'll have to look for someone who does that kind of work. Hypothetical example: if there are abandonment issues in early childhood, that could be causing the self-esteem issues. So you'd need to find someone who works with family-of-origin issues, as opposed to someone who just gives dating advice and general self-esteem advice, if you see what I mean. Psychologists are better equipped than MSW's (social workers), but not all psychologists deal with childhood issues, abuse, abandonment, whatever. And among those that do, they have different methodologies. There's a big learning curve involved in choosing a good therapist.
I agree that a psychologist would be best. I know I need one with a specialty in self esteem issues. I'm sure it would help to make me a more well-rounded person so that hopefully I can stop attracting these types of guys.
You give really wonderful advice. A big thanks for everything.
What's there to figure out? Most people will take as much as you give them. Do you enjoy having your feelings played with? Would you feel better about it if you can put a name on it?
Sounds to me like he likes you, a lot, but is intimidated by his feelings for you. He doesn't like the hold you have over him because it makes him feel powerless, so he "puts you in your place" to make himself feel better, less insecure, and more in control.
In short, he's insecure and immature and I would stay away from him. He doesn't know how to handle or express his feelings properly.
Isn't he doing what the so-called PUA experts tell him to do?
Basically, he's the handsome "it" guy that every girl goes crazy over. I have not. Ever. Was not attracted to him in the least and then one day out of the blue, he starts working his way in. A little something here. A little something there. It's like he caught me off guard.
Nah... I don't think he is a sociopath or mentally unstable. He is a player, now irritated, because you are not like other girls "crazy over him". You challenged him, and caught his interest. Guys get easily bored with girls that are easy and crazy about them. You are not - and he can't figure out why.
I see that he is working his way in. Probably never learned a proper talk with a girl. Why? He didn't needed to be nice, or polite - those crazy girls didn't care. But now he is confused, and just don't know how to act.
I know those types. He might even start to try harder, and be nice...
Just don't give up. As soon he notice that you are interested, he will go back to his old behavior...
But who knows? He might decide that it's worth to change. For you.
He sits far away from me (like I have the cooties) and sometimes rolls his eyes at me, but always manages to stare me up and down?
He acts disinterested (looks at his watch like he's checking the time because he has to go) but turns around and asks to drive me home??? Only to look at his watch when he drops me off again? Like I'm a bother?
He tries to bully me around and tell me what to do only to shut down on me and not speak to me once I get fed-up and put him in his place?
I know it sounds so High School and we ARE adults, but, can someone please tell me wtf is going on, here?
We have really good conversations and he is always complimenting me and watching me and I can tell he enjoys my company, however...
We're not friends, just associates, but he makes me feel so bad about myself. Like he can't stand me. I never initiate anything with him (and certainly not romantic)...at least not anymore. I'm just afraid he is going to try and hurt my feelings.
What is this about/should I do?
Rude behavior isn't something I tolerate.
Say.. if your mom is your best friend, and she were to get involved with someone, would you:
A) advise her to give rude guy a chance
B) advise her to NOT give jerkoff the time of day
C) realize everyone has flaws, but this flaw she doesn't have to deal with
D) analyze over and over and tell her this person secretly loves her despite the insanity of it all
There's no need to sit around and analyze rude behavior. Instant cross off the list. Done. If this person has anger issues, they need to deal with that on their own.
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