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I'm 37 and so is my husband. This woman is 28, single, and gorgeous. I have no reason to believe my husband has any alterior motives here, he rarely talks to her outside work in person unless she and I are doing something and he comes along or she's at our house. They do text but she initiates it 99% of the time.
However, here and there, I've suspected that this woman has alterior motives regarding my husband, and might have more of an interest in him than would be appropriate. She does occasionally text him at home, usually for work purposes (he fully discloses and doesn't hide anything), but then they usually chat a bit about other mundane stuff once the work discussion is over.She texts me too, however, often simultaneously.
I'm starting to think she's trying to use me to get to him somehow. I don't have a reason to distrust my husband, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable, even though I'm sure my husband wouldn't take her up on it if she tried to make a move on him.
I really don't believe an affair is happening, there are no odd late night meetings, my husband rarely goes out of the house for non-work reasons for any length of time, etc. No odd behaviors that would suggest he's hiding anything. If anything, I think he's totally oblivious to the idea that this woman might have a crush or worse on him. Our sex life hasn't changed, either.
The more I read and dissect your OP, I am starting to see you may be a controlling type. You know every single detail, your husband discloses every single conversation and you know exactly when the conversation goes from work to mundane. Are you standing over his shoulders? You know the % of who initiates, you swear that he won't make a move on him even is she ran up on him. You even suggest he is oblivious to her possible interest.
On top of it all, all three of you are texting simultaneously. Yes, I see red and you guys need to get out more.
Jealousy will do nothing for you except destroy your marriage. Don't read something into a situation that doesn't exist unless you enjoy drama and turmoil. My exwife had a lot of the same thoughts you have, and finally came right out and accused me. Men are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, and for the woman that is uncomfortable with that, their marriage is headed for trouble. You say you trust your husband, if that were true you wouldn't be posting what you posted.
Where is monumentus when you need him. He would enjoy this.
Are you suggesting I take pleasure in the woes of others? Not sure why you are going from thread to thread simply making things up about me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing
The bottom line, he knows what he is doing and he is playing with hot coal.
I see nothing in the OP to suggest this at all. He has done nothing but introduce two people he felt, correctly it seems, would get on well with each other. Is that a crime now?
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Originally Posted by halfamazing
Now, you need to remove yourself from this immediately and stop being such good friends. That was your bad.
It was "her bad"? For doing what? Making a friend?
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Originally Posted by halfamazing
This begs me to ask the question of: why are you so involved in every aspect of their relationship? I just find it strange that the guy can't even breathe on his own.
I am not getting that from the OP either, you are making this up. The OP clearly says that it is HIM that openly discloses the contents of his phone messages. Many people do this. There is nothing remarkable or insidious about it. You are reading things into it that are not there, not for the first time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing
He shouldn't be chilling with her. It's JUST NOT A GOOD LOOK. I wouldn't do it nor would I want my lady to do it with her male co-worker after hours.
So you would not do it - therefore no one should? Wow.
LOTS of people spend time with co-workers after hours. It happens everywhere. All the time. The sex of that co-worker is irrelevant.
The OP is going to look like a fool if she says something. Of course she is the controlling type, because she has serious trust issues. This is going to end badly, and not because of the husband. She will accuse someone of something that is not true. Sex life hasn't changed, and he has no unexplained time (apparently she has him clocked to the second) so why make up stuff that isn't true.
By the way, to the person who suggests moving? Really? Overreact much?
Mind you, I have changed my tune a bit after re-reading her OP. The below in red reflects my change of views.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Are you suggesting I take pleasure in the woes of others? Not sure why you are going from thread to thread simply making things up about me.
No but I know you see no problem in people doing whatever they please in relationships and as long as a person gives their word, the other should just believe and go about their blindness, I mean business.
I see nothing in the OP to suggest this at all. He has done nothing but introduce two people he felt, correctly it seems, would get on well with each other. Is that a crime now?
Of couse not but unlike you, some people rather keep a blind man blind and honest.
It was "her bad"? For doing what? Making a friend?
She should be mindful of getting tangled in this triangle. There needs to be a line between co-workers and family. Sitting there in a trianglular text-capade between your husband and a co-worker is kind of odd especially if she is of the opposite sex, gorgeous, and single.
I am not getting that from the OP either, you are making this up. The OP clearly says that it is HIM that openly discloses the contents of his phone messages. Many people do this. There is nothing remarkable or insidious about it. You are reading things into it that are not there, not for the first time.
So knowing every conversation, knowing to what extent their converstation moves from work to mundane and the % of who initiates is something that strikes you with a hammer?
So you would not do it - therefore no one should? Wow.
Point taken. Next time I won't use myself as an example.
LOTS of people spend time with co-workers after hours. It happens everywhere. All the time. The sex of that co-worker is irrelevant.
There you go again with everyone does it, there is nothing to see here so we can all go home now attitude. Even though my views have changed, it doesn't mean that she the co-worker being around and continuing to intrude and tri-text is healthy. There needs to be some distance and respect between work and a person's time off. The husband needs to set these boundaries. It's not a good look. But of course, according to you, people can do as they please as long as they give their word
Trust your gut. It can be pretty obvious when another women is interested from the outside. And your hubby may have no clue. I'm sure he likes the attention/compliments as we all do but he may not think more of it. But definitely talk to him about it!
Trust your gut. It can be pretty obvious when another women is interested from the outside. And your hubby may have no clue. I'm sure he likes the attention/compliments as we all do but he may not think more of it. But definitely talk to him about it!
I get what you are saying but I HIGHLY DOUBT the guy is oblvious. Ok, I give it up that not all men cheat. But all men are AWARE. If interest is appreciated, awareness is followed by real closely. You can't appreciate attention but then be oblvious. We are not machines
Give the guy some credit sheesh. This idea by the OP that he has no clue. Wouldn't do anything if she ran up, he discloses everything, she knowing every detail about their conversation makes me think this guy has a curfew.
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