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You shouldn't have to convince yourself you're attracted to someone physically - the attraction is either there or it isn't. Personality wise, sure...it takes time to really get to know someone. But physically at least you shouldn't need more than the first few minutes to tell if you like the person or not.
You are either the type that you need it to be instant or okay with it building over time. If you're the former, you're not attracted to her and there's no chemistry. If you're the latter, then keep going out with her and see.
For myself, I need it to be instant, because that will stick around. But, if the attraction grows, it doesn't stick around very long.
So recently met a very nice lady from an on-line dating site. Excellent manners and very kind. We have a lot in common and enjoy many of the same things like dogs and spending time outdoors. Most importantly, we share many of the same values and are close in age (mid-40's). That's important to me.
But...
The problem is that I am not sure I am sexually attracted to her. I know this is common and there's a lot of different opinions. Some say to stick with it and see where it goes while others say move on now.
We've been communicating for about a month, met up twice for daily activities and after every date, I just scratch my head on what to do and how I feel. I don't want to waste her time (or mine) but also don't want to just "call it" w/o thinking it through.
Opinions?
Sorry if this advice is repetitive...
I was in a similar situation once - went on a date with a sweet guy. We had lots in common, same life views, morals, spiritual ideas, politics, humor, etc. He was physically attractive. But I just wasn't "feeling it" which threw me off and I thought if we just kept going out we MUST eventually connect. Nope, didn't happen. After date 3 I stopped wasting both our time and ended things. The next date I went on, well, from the moment I saw him I thought "geez I hope we have chemistry!!" And we did.
My inclination would be to move on, but easier said than done I suppose. Good luck!
They've only been on two dates. That's the point of his question. If it takes you a "few" dates, maybe he should give it a couple more chances, then.
Ok, I guess I needed to specifically state two dates. I've been on many dates in my lifetime, and if I didn't feel it at the end of the second date there was no third. This has worked very well for me, and this is just my experience. The OP is free to do whatever he pleases.
In order to figure this out, you need to spend more time together in person.
This. A third date wouldn't hurt anything, and you wouldn't be "leading her on". At that point, you should have some idea about common interests, values, approach to life, and all that intangible stuff, that can sometimes enhance the perception of the physical, if it's a good match and clicks.
I would give you the $500 award if I could you deserve the next one for the forum.
Aww thanks.
I tried to rep you but apparently I hit it too much.
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Two dates are one too many
