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Old 01-20-2015, 02:27 PM
 
Location: east coast
2,790 posts, read 2,161,122 times
Reputation: 1869

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Yeah I agree I don't think anyone has an obligation too..I'm just puzzled as to why op expects a shy man who might have social anxiety is supposed to make her feel at ease..

Its like expecting someone blind to lead you around..
Read this. I don't even need to post to this thread. So many great points being made here.

This gets to the point of it all. If anyone insists on arguing this point, then they shouldn't be dating or even socializing with outsiders period.
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Old 01-20-2015, 02:29 PM
 
Location: east coast
2,790 posts, read 2,161,122 times
Reputation: 1869
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
It all comes out naturally if it a good match.

You two where not.

The end.
Repost.
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Old 01-20-2015, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,738 posts, read 5,660,893 times
Reputation: 7351
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
Right on! That right there is the ticket.

There is no such thing as putting more effort for "guys" as a whole. It should be that women shouldn't deal with men that don't put in the effort that they expect. We all have our own needs, flaws, as well as social abilities. If the situation arises where the person's character doesn't suit you, move on. There is no need to try to mold anyone.

Someone like the OP who is so vocal on men putting more effort needs that type of particular man. Find that type of man. Socially awkward men will find their mates and build their confidence. Same with women. But something tells me she wants full control and for the guy to be just right and perfect to meet her specific needs. She doesn't seem to understand that she herself may have come off a bit too strong FOR HIM. There is a blockage somewhere because how did they get to the point of the actual date?
You said it right. She could've came on to strong and that itself is a turnoff for some men.
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Old 01-20-2015, 02:41 PM
 
Location: east coast
2,790 posts, read 2,161,122 times
Reputation: 1869
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
We don't know that she didn't. The OP hasn't come back to the thread to answer that question. She may have tried, and gotten nowhere. She did say that at the end of the date, he said his nerves got the better of him. Maybe she tried to put him at ease, and failed.
Yes she said that. And still, what has she done? What are we discussing? Does it show of a person that is able to relate to others? There is no need for her to try to "explain". She clearly stated that he is interested but that his nerves got to him. But still she comes on here to blast all men for not meeting her expectations. As men pointing this out, women should take heed.
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Old 01-20-2015, 02:44 PM
 
Location: east coast
2,790 posts, read 2,161,122 times
Reputation: 1869
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
You said it right. She could've came on to strong and that itself is a turnoff for some men.
Sure! Either that or she may have been a bit overwhelming.

But let's be honest. Shy, reserved, and mild women don't usually take it to forums or even in person to call out a particular group, sex, or race. Only those that are a bit more edgy do this.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:07 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
73,007 posts, read 64,496,261 times
Reputation: 68954
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Yeah I agree I don't think anyone has an obligation too..I'm just puzzled as to why op expects a shy man who might have social anxiety is supposed to make her feel at ease..

Its like expecting someone blind to lead you around..
I think her point was that she didn't know going into it that she'd made a date with a shy, anxious man. Shy anxious men don't usually date much, if at all.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,738 posts, read 5,660,893 times
Reputation: 7351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I think her point was that she didn't know going into it that she'd made a date with a shy, anxious man. Shy anxious men don't usually date much, if at all.
I agree. I'm the type of guy you're talking about. I don't really date much at all.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:35 PM
 
3,906 posts, read 4,421,705 times
Reputation: 2697
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I think her point was that she didn't know going into it that she'd made a date with a shy, anxious man. Shy anxious men don't usually date much, if at all.
I know iam one myself and don't date at all..It just seems like the op expected the man to break out of his shell for her..
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,738 posts, read 5,660,893 times
Reputation: 7351
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I know iam one myself and don't date at all..It just seems like the op expected the man to break out of his shell for her..
She will be very disappointed if that's what she expects.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,839 posts, read 17,756,943 times
Reputation: 40223
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
Sure! Either that or she may have been a bit overwhelming.

But let's be honest. Shy, reserved, and mild women don't usually take it to forums or even in person to call out a particular group, sex, or race. Only those that are a bit more edgy do this.
I don't believe this. I think a lot of shy passive/aggressive types post here (both genders).
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