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From what I see...you did go a little overboard with the kissing and making on the first date.
You probably gave off the impression that you are really into him, when this is more than likely just a rebound from your most recent relationship.
Personally I wouldn't date multiple people at one time. That can be quite stressful and feel like more of a chore rather than fun. I won't even go on a date with someone unless I was for sure that I liked them to begin with. I don't see dating as a way to MEET people. I would rather meet and talk to them and become friends at other places. (school, mall, etc.)
Again this is just how I feel. If you don't see a problem with and it makes you happy, awesome, just be careful not to lead anyone on.
Yeah, when I was single I was never really much into juggling, I did on a couple of occasions, but no, for the most part. Course my single days were long before the Internet became mainstream to those outside of the military and academia.
She is hardly juggling guys having met this guy only once... You are only "juggling" if you are actually involved with more than one guy, and feeling you have to lie to them.
27 or 47, in my experience men get an attitude regardless of age if you don't want what they want. Better to get that attitude out sooner rather than later so you know their true colors. I'd go out and meet as many men as you'd like, until you meet one you want to keep seeing.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
i don't see dating as a way to MEET people. I would rather meet and talk to them and become friends at other places. (school, mall, etc.)
I feel the same way. This method has never worked for me yet, but it is the only method I feel comfortable with.
The dating strangers method makes me uncomfortable, and plus if I look at dating websites, while I feel sexually attracted to 80% of the women I see on there, most of them do not generate that extra feeling of "I want to spend time with this person for romantic purposes". I feel that rarely. I think on all of the POF profiles I looked at, only one person generated that extra spark to any degree, and it was only to a slight degree. And she's an Army officer stationed in Korea, not going to work. lol.
You shouldn't feel bad for dating multiple people unless you have an agreement with someone not to or you think one of the people you're dating assumes you are not dating others. They may think that for a valid reason or for a reason that is not valid, but it's your responsibility to let him know that you aren't exclusive if he thinks you are.
Otherwise, no, there is no reason for you to feel bad.
Good points and to the one who said about overcompensating...yes, distracting with multiple people so not to get hurt again also to help the self esteem or ego that was cut due to the one who "disappeared" your good at analyzing..I agree with you all
I'm going to further get into what I began, since I was the guy who spoke of over compensating. I don't think that you are the type who can attach without investment. What I mean is that you give part of yourself in each relationship, no matter how you choose to label it. Because of this trait, it becomes risky for you to place yourself in the dating pool. Before you get involved, you fear the pain that you have grown to accept with each relationship you start.
My observation is that you place a lot into any physical interactions you have. This isn't just sex, but any form of intimacy. I think it's something that you are more than aware of, and have tried to make an effort to curtail your actions....I have a real belief that you feel that in order to gain acceptance, physical interaction is a must. While this may be true, it isn't the only chip you carry. I also feel that when you do allow it, it isn't only physical, and involves a piece of you emotionally. This is why you get wounded by men who bail out on you. You gave them a piece of your soul, and they treated it like it held no value.
From the replies to your thread, I am assuming that you have a desirable look. It doesn't surprise me one bit, that someone who is desired by many, would have self esteem issues. I have known more women who were extremely attractive, and had self esteem issues, so you are definitely not alone. What I can tell you, is that if you are able to harness your power, that you can control your destiny. There is no reason why a woman, who brings out such positive reaction, to not be in total control....you have the power to be the puppet master. I'm sure there is a contingency who would disagree, but imo, when you got it, take advantage of it...
From experience, what I can suggest, is that you try to eliminate your use of physical interaction as a tool/weapon. I have met a few women who were in your shoes, and when they stopped allowing physical interaction with every new guy, they began to meet more quality men. I am not saying to sew that sheet up, what I am saying is to control access, because it has high value. Stop selling yourself short, you will be able to casually date men without the physical stuff, when you find a guy who interests you, then let what comes natural......
No you only feel bad when you are in a committed relationship and you are dating and cheating behind his back. These are first dates, casual dates.
Now he is being a little too clingy, if I were him I would let some days pass then make plans. But you don't need to tell him you have dates lined up, just that you are busy should suffice.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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It seems you are bothered by the fact he has interrupted your plans.
What does your Match profile say? Does it say what you said you want here?
He likes you, or he wouldnt keep trying. Maybe you like him too, but arent ready to let go of the previous plans?
If you like him and are interested, as has been previous said by others, change your plans, or put them on 'hold' for a spell. They will still be there if he doesnt work out.
If you know he definately will not be "the fish that got away", cut him loose now. Although he's still trying, he's not that invested yet. Try to be kind, and accept the blame of not wanting to persue him further.
You're 32 and getting drunk enough to call out from work? Forgot the dating, work on your borderline alcoholism.
Really dude? I am sure you are just sooo perfect.
The guy is just a little overbearing. No big deal, a lot of guys are needy. Also judging by some of these responses I kinda wonder what the eff some of you people do on dates! Like some of you have honestly never have made out on a first date?
The guy is just a little overbearing. No big deal, a lot of guys are needy. Also judging by some of these responses I kinda wonder what the eff some of you people do on dates! Like some of you have honestly never have made out on a first date?
I'm not perfect at all, but 20 year olds get shyt faced and call in with a hangover. People in their 30s should know how to handle their alcohol.
And I'm not a dude either.
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