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I think therapy is publicly traded on the NYSE and half the posters here hold therapy stock. Why the hell else would they suggest it so much when OP has called it a day on the matter?
Because we have an OP who is showing some serious red flags: lack of empathy towards her fellow human, not being able to form deep emotional connections with people, etc.
Not to blow it out of proportion, because I don't think (nor do I hope) that the OP is like this, but these are shared traits in serial killers and the likes of mass shooting culprits. If there are some kinks that need to be worked, then by all means let's help her get these kinks worked out.
I think the reason you received feedback is because you sounded a little troubled. Your OP didn't exactly resonate a celebratory or happy theme. Not to mention, you posted it for the world to see. From my POV, your OP sounded like a cry for help. Maybe I'm wrong. But that's the impression I think most people would take away when they see a publicly posted thread that seems to indicate that things aren't going too well. Personally, if I'm not looking for a response or suggestions, I wouldn't post about it to a public forum. So I think that's why people thought maybe there was something deeper at work.
We're all people just like you, and despite our disagreements from time to time, I think the majority of us don't want to see our fellow human being in a bad place. If we can help or offer suggestions, I think most of us are willing to do that. I think that's what most people here were doing.
Yeah, I don't have a problem with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Because we have an OP who is showing some serious red flags: lack of empathy towards her fellow human, not being able to form deep emotional connections with people, etc.
Not to blow it out of proportion, because I don't think (nor do I hope) that the OP is like this, but these are shared traits in serial killers and the likes of mass shooting culprits. If there are some kinks that need to be worked, then by all means let's help her get these kinks worked out.
I have no thoughts about hurting anyone. Becoming a reclusive cat lady is much more probable.
At the end of the day...nobody is really going to suffer because OP or any one of us decide to drop out of the dating pool.
People are going to continue to date, marry and do all of the other things that come with relationships.
As much as we would like to think that the world will care...reality is that life will go on regardless of how we are feeling.
If you aren't happy with your situation...begin the process of doing something about it.
Agreed. Personal things like this, are personal for a reason. it only effects the one person, provided nobody goes psycho or something or start inflicting harm on others.
But, people take breaks, decide to stop dating all together, or keep going from one thing to another. Just depends on what will work for you. But one person's lack of dating or marriage won't effect anyone but them. Aside from parents who may want grandkids lol
SLS
I wish you luck. This may be the start of a good thing. You will have more time for yourself when not worrying about dating, and you can start doing some things. Take up some hobbies when you can. And as cliche as it sounds, could meet a guy when you don't expect it. But that would just be a nice surprise. Best to too hang on that happening. lol And bravo for not trying anything with the married guys you have liked.
But for some, sadly it's just something. They just don't form too many bonds with people. It's challenging, and they are better off with their own company. Only occasionally socializing for a different change of pace to avoid going mad lol.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-07-2015 at 02:03 PM..
There is a large difference (far too often) between what works best, and what is easiest. People often call what is easiest the best, even when the easiest is often not the healthiest or doesn't lead to happiness.
And it's up to each of us to make those choices; it can be unhealthy when we base our selections on what others think - way too easy to get steered in the wrong direction.
Agreed. Personal things like this, are personal for a reason. it only effects the one person, provided nobody goes psycho or something or start inflicting harm on others.
But, people take breaks, decide to stop dating all together, or keep going from one thing to another. Just depends on what you will will work for you. But one person's lack of dating or marriage won't effect anyone but them. Aside from parents who may want grandkids lol
SLS
I wish you luck. This may be the start of a good thing. You will have more time for yourself when not worrying about dating, and you can start doing some things. Take up some hobbies when you can. And as cliche as it sounds, could meet a guy when you don't expect it. But that would just be a nice surprise. Best to too hang on that happening. lol And bravo for not trying anything with the married guys you have liked.
But for some, sadly it's just something. They just don't form too many bonds with people. It's challenging, and they are better off with their own company. Only occasionally socializing.
Honestly, I can't take any credit for the bolded. I don't think he's a cheater and even if he was, I don't think he would cheat with me so it's a moot point. I agree with the rest of the post though. Thanks!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,075,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45
And it's up to each of us to make those choices; it can be unhealthy when we base our selections on what others think - way too easy to get steered in the wrong direction.
It can be. It can also be unhealthy to make these choices on what we think, when we haven't complete information, or when we're not thinking logically/rationally (as was shown by her presentation of a major false dichotomy concerning the decision).
People, I believe, owe it to themselves and do best when they get the knowledge they need to make informed decisions. She has pretty much acknowledged she doesn't have that information and she is hesitant to try to find it out.
Honestly, I can't take any credit for the bolded. I don't think he's a cheater and even if he was, I don't think he would cheat with me so it's a moot point. I agree with the rest of the post though. Thanks!
No problem. I hope you stay very busy and have many fun things to do. Always good to keep from going into rut mode.
Sometimes, a project is very good. It's something that takes time, and if you're really into it, it's a nice when to spend extra time. I like doing digital coloring. I am not that good. But I find it fun. I wish I lived somewhere I could get professional help. Because I had to self-learn everything. And I have gotten far as I can on my own.
Here's 2 I did. The 1st links on both are the sketch I had to do before coloring.
So again, not grand artwork. But nice projects that do take a good bit of time, patience-which I fail at sometimes, and effort. it's always fun to find new pix to do. Working on a new one today.
I hope you can find some hobbies to do that would help. Something you could look forward to doing. Maybe just try something new that you haven't done, and you could get into it. Maybe visit other parts of this site, and chat on more lighthearted things that may be fun and funny.
Getting into a good book and maybe trying a book club. That is if you like reading. And for something different, if you have a movie or series you're interested in and wanna read more about, you can check out stories written by everyday people with the series and characters. Some will suck, but some stories I read, I almost felt were better than the actual story lol or did a great job explaining what an author never did.
Here's the site. If there's a series you like, someone will have written something. https://www.fanfiction.net/
There;s always something, no matter what, or how small, nerdy, or big, that someone can get into, and you don't necessarily need other people to enjoy.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-07-2015 at 02:30 PM..
I recently renewed my sub on online dating and honestly = theres so many douches, creeps and cowboys out there.
No wonder you cant connect with any of them.
I've always met my boyfriends IRL...recently a psychic told me, "he's right there, hes in your life already" and sure enough, a week later, an acquaintance asked me out and we've been dating ever since.
I always knew he liked me but never paid much attention to it until he spoke up.
No problem. I hope you stay very busy and have many fun things to do. Always good to keep from going into rut mode.
Sometimes, a project is very good. It's something that takes time, and if you're really into it, it's a nice when to spend extra time. I like doing digital coloring. I am not that good. But I find it fun. I wish I lived somewhere I could get professional help. Because I had to self-learn everything. And I have gotten far as I can on my own.
Here's 2 I did. The 1st links on both are the sketch I had to do before coloring.
So again, not grand artwork. But nice projects that do take a good bit of time, patience-which I fail at sometimes, and effort. it's always fun to find new pix to do. Working on a new one today.
I hope you can find some hobbies to do that would help. Something you could look forward to doing. Maybe just try something new that you haven't done, and you could get into it. Maybe visit other parts of this site, and chat on more lighthearted things that may be fun and funny.
Getting into a good book and maybe trying a book club. That is if you like reading. And for something different, if you have a movie or series you're interested in and wanna read more about, you can check out stories written by everyday people with the series and characters. Some will suck, but some stories I read, I almost felt were better than the actual story lol or did a great job explaining what an author never did.
Here's the site. If there's a series you like, someone will have written something. https://www.fanfiction.net/
There;s always something, no matter what, or how small, nerdy, or big, that someone can get into, and you don't necessarily need other people to enjoy.
Cool sketches! I do have interests that keep me entertained/occupied, but I know there's lots of other things to explore that I haven't tried.
Cool sketches! I do have interests that keep me entertained/occupied, but I know there's lots of other things to explore that I haven't tried.
Good luck. I am doing the same. Getting some stuff done, and it will open some doors for me. So good you have some nice things to look forward to. And it'll be less stressful than dating. because really dating takes 2. You can control you, but not your feelings or someone else. You may like them, but they aren't feeling it. The reverse happens. Sometimes things work and you're coupled up and circumstances cause a split.
So focusing on things where you have more control can be really healthy. Then later you probably will feel ready to step into dating again after a hiatus.
Keep up with some new stuff. Even introverts can sink into depression if they hit a rut. I did that years ago, and it doesn't feel good.
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