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So i've been with my boyfriend, the love of my life, for 4.5 years. When we first started dating the topic of children came up and he said that while he doesn't want kids, he would want whatever i want. Fast forward all these years and we had a major decision come up about moving and where our relationship is going. He now says that he doesn't want kids, period. He doesn't feel like he would be a good father/provider. He loves me and wants to marry me but he wants me to be aware that he will never be ready for kids.
I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I love this man. He has been my everything, my world for all these years. I'm 31 but before him I never loved anyone else like this. I'm also a super picky person and have a hard time opening up to anyone. I truly fear that if we break up, I won't be able to find someone else that i love to this extent. If it's a choice between a child (and who knows if i can even get pregnant) and him, I would choose him. I'm so scared about being by myself again. I just don't know what to do!!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SomervilleCat
So i've been with my boyfriend, the love of my life, for 4.5 years. When we first started dating the topic of children came up and he said that while he doesn't want kids, he would want whatever i want. Fast forward all these years and we had a major decision come up about moving and where our relationship is going. He now says that he doesn't want kids, period. He doesn't feel like he would be a good father/provider. He loves me and wants to marry me but he wants me to be aware that he will never be ready for kids.
I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I love this man. He has been my everything, my world for all these years. I'm 31 but before him I never loved anyone else like this. I'm also a super picky person and have a hard time opening up to anyone. I truly fear that if we break up, I won't be able to find someone else that i love to this extent. If it's a choice between a child (and who knows if i can even get pregnant) and him, I would choose him. I'm so scared about being by myself again. I just don't know what to do!!
Any opinions are welcome but please be kind.
He changed his mind apparently. He was honest with you. He did nothing wrong. Now it's your decision, him or kids?
So i've been with my boyfriend, the love of my life, for 4.5 years. When we first started dating the topic of children came up and he said that while he doesn't want kids, he would want whatever i want. Fast forward all these years and we had a major decision come up about moving and where our relationship is going. He now says that he doesn't want kids, period. He doesn't feel like he would be a good father/provider. He loves me and wants to marry me but he wants me to be aware that he will never be ready for kids.
I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I love this man. He has been my everything, my world for all these years. I'm 31 but before him I never loved anyone else like this. I'm also a super picky person and have a hard time opening up to anyone. I truly fear that if we break up, I won't be able to find someone else that i love to this extent. If it's a choice between a child (and who knows if i can even get pregnant) and him, I would choose him. I'm so scared about being by myself again. I just don't know what to do!!
Any opinions are welcome but please be kind.
I'm sorry for this, I would have been suspicious from the get-go based on the bold part. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think people change their mind on this as much as some people seem to think. I experienced a similar situation to this, we both didn't want kids then she changed her mind and wanted kids. I did not and it is one thing I will never change my mind on. We broke up and went our separate ways. You'll have to decide which is more important to you.
What's scary about being on your own? Fear isn't a good reason to go through with a relationship, or marriage especially.
I'm afraid that I won't find someone else that I can be myself around since it took me so long to find him! I feel like he can read my mind. Finding love is pretty rare.
As you said, you would sacrifice your possible motherhood over him.
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