Boyfriend wants to sleep with other people but still wants me (women, love)
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I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we have been friends for a year before that. He is 28 years old and I am 22 years old if that matters. I found his OkCupid account on his computer and he has been hitting on other girls. He claims he hasn't had sex or cheated on me but he lied about what he was doing on the account. He claims he has urges to have sex with other people but loves me. He claims that this is a need and that it is a deal breaker for us if I don't agree to those terms. I feel uncomfortable with him sleeping with other girls as he is not very good at communicating and he is very selfish at times. I need help making up my mind as I see him tomorrow here are my three options on how things will go.
1. we break up but I think I would have to cut him out of my life completely but please note I am very attached to him.
2. we take a break for a month and get back together and get it out of his system.
3. We remain monogamous. I agree to his terms but I probably won't be very happy about this arrangement and if we do this in the long term I want to be monogamous later.
If anyone can think of a middle ground that would be great. I don't want to lose him but I don't want to compromise myself for him.
This board makes me feel like the best guy in the world sometimes.
This^^^ Op, your bf is a selfish douchebag. You have no self-respect whatsoever if you allow him to go sleep with other women and crawl back into your bed. What if he brings back an STD with him? Do you want to be infected with Herpes?
Tell him that you will not allow him to do this to you since you two are in a relationship. Don't agree to breakup for a month so he can screw every woman on the planet either. If he is going to do this, tell him you are done for good. Then go find a decent guy. What you really need to do is dump him now and go find a decent guy.
Oh, good grief! OP, if he says it's a deal breaker, let him break the deal. Tell him you're moving on to someone who doesn't have urges to have sex with other people. You don't need "selfish" in your life, nor a higher risk of STD's.
I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we have been friends for a year before that. He is 28 years old and I am 22 years old if that matters. I found his OkCupid account on his computer and he has been hitting on other girls. He claims he hasn't had sex or cheated on me but he lied about what he was doing on the account. He claims he has urges to have sex with other people but loves me. He claims that this is a need and that it is a deal breaker for us if I don't agree to those terms. I feel uncomfortable with him sleeping with other girls as he is not very good at communicating and he is very selfish at times. I need help making up my mind as I see him tomorrow here are my three options on how things will go.
1. we break up but I think I would have to cut him out of my life completely but please note I am very attached to him.
2. we take a break for a month and get back together and get it out of his system.
3. We remain monogamous. I agree to his terms but I probably won't be very happy about this arrangement and if we do this in the long term I want to be monogamous later.
If anyone can think of a middle ground that would be great. I don't want to lose him but I don't want to compromise myself for him.
He lied, he wants to have sex with other girls, he pressures you to agree with HIS terms, he does not communicate, he is selfish... BUT you are very attached to him
^^^ Read above over and over again. Learn to have a self respect.
DUMP him, and do yourself a huge favor by finding someone better.
So what will happen is that you will say "no you have to choose me or the other women" and he will say "i pick you" and then go out and cheat on you anyway. The reason he's asking is that he plans on doing it no matter what you say, so he figures its easier for him not to have to sneak around...so, you say no (if you do) and he goes behind your back anyway.
Tell him that if he becomes a famous rock star or actor he can sample other women, if he's a Joe Blow nobody, he doesn't get that privilege.
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