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I'm a 22 year old virgin girl. Is that a turn off?
Nope. I didn't have sex until I was 24 and I'm fairly normal. I don't get what the big deal is about virginity? Some people are late bloomers who come out of their shell later. To judge someone for something small like virginity is shallow and a first world problem.
Here's a clue d.a. most older virgins are that way because of at least one of the following: bad luck, not attractive enough, it just never happened, and/or just not being what the opposite sex is looking for. Not everyone gets a shot at sex and relationships, that's life. To go around saying everyone has sex and relationships and by a certain age is nothing short of fairy tales.
Except that ugly and obese people have sex before 30 all the time. Have you ever been to a state fair and looked around at all the unattractive couples walking around, many of them with kids? And anyone who is abstaining until marriage for religious reasons is already married by 30 unless they have deeper underlying issues besides virginity.
None of your reasons are a good excuse. Even not attractive people find relationships with other not attractive people. Not attractive enough is code for "I myself am only a 3 but I refuse to date anyone who is less attractive than a 9 so I will not date anyone the rest of my life until that 9 comes knocking on my door" (which will never happen since a 9 won't date a 3 unless there's huge sums of money involved). It just never happened is code for "I just can't meet anyone but I also never leave my house". I don't even understand what you mean by bad luck since IMO luck is 90% effort and 10% actual random luck. If you haven't had sex by 30, it's due to the lack of effort, not just random bad luck. Not being what the opposite sex is looking for is basically code for "significant emotional and/or mental issues that prevent that person from functioning the way the majority of people do" which further proves my point that an over 30 virgin is that way because of deeper issues.
I firmly believe that there is somebody out there for everyone, but if you don't go looking for them you will never find them. Sitting at home and complaining about bad luck and being not attractive enough will certainly not get someone a date.
Except that ugly and obese people have sex before 30 all the time. Have you ever been to a state fair and looked around at all the unattractive couples walking around, many of them with kids? And anyone who is abstaining until marriage for religious reasons is already married by 30 unless they have deeper underlying issues besides virginity.
None of your reasons are a good excuse. Even not attractive people find relationships with other not attractive people. Not attractive enough is code for "I myself am only a 3 but I refuse to date anyone who is less attractive than a 9 so I will not date anyone the rest of my life until that 9 comes knocking on my door" (which will never happen since a 9 won't date a 3 unless there's huge sums of money involved). It just never happened is code for "I just can't meet anyone but I also never leave my house". I don't even understand what you mean by bad luck since IMO luck is 90% effort and 10% actual random luck. If you haven't had sex by 30, it's due to the lack of effort, not just random bad luck. Not being what the opposite sex is looking for is basically code for "significant emotional and/or mental issues that prevent that person from functioning the way the majority of people do" which further proves my point that an over 30 virgin is that way because of deeper issues.
I firmly believe that there is somebody out there for everyone, but if you don't go looking for them you will never find them. Sitting at home and complaining about bad luck and being not attractive enough will certainly not get someone a date.
again, whos to say they haven't tried looking for them?
Why cant it just mean someone has had bad luck and it simply hasnt happened to them? Everyone assumes its the persons fault.
Seriously, though, someone who is waiting until marriage would not be right for me, so no, I would not date him. He needs to find someone who shares his beliefs, and that would not be me.
True. His beliefs would be just as valid as your beliefs, so you basically just go your separate ways.
The issue I have is when non-virgins start making value judgements against virgins, often implying that they are less worthy, less desirable, or flawed in some way. To me it seems arrogant on the part of the non-virgin. Many non-virgins have plenty of shortcomings, issues, and character flaws, yet they have done the one thing that they feel elevates them to Rock Start status, and that is have sex. So, to me, it's like an extension of high school mentality: try very hard to fit in and do what the cool people do, then make fun of and ridicule the one's who are different.
If someone wants to have sex or not, it's really nobody else's business. Go out and sleep around all you want; or don't. If you crave and want sex, go get it. If not, that's fine. But using whether or not someone has had sex by a certain age as some major determinant as to whether that person is normal, sane, mentally healthy, etc, is asinine (in my opinion).
I only know one 35+ virgin and he is pretty socially inept to a creepy point, and is past the point of no return with that balding head and minimalist living situation.
I'll bring your 30 number down to 21, but 23 or 24 is more appropriate as there are a lot of "late bloomers" out there. So... if you haven't been laid by your 24th birthday then you need to start looking inward.
And I'm not buying the whole religious excuse. The socially normal religious folks are horny like anyone else, find each other, and get married young & fast so they can bang guilt-free. Happens all the time.
Balding heads and minimalist living situations are impediments to finding sexual partners? That seems odd. People all of types and classes find each other and have sex. Any time you put groups of females and males in contact, sexual relations will ensue (in at least some of the members, if the group is large enough and the members willing). Overweight, skinny, short, tall, rich, and poor people have sex. So, why not minimalists or bald people? LOL…..Just a question, not attacking you here.
Can't it just mean you haven't wanted to get laid, haven't found anyone, bad luck, etc?
I find it funny how if you're a virgin, there must be something wrong with you.
Also, plenty of people in their mid 20's-late 20's are virgins. Some by choice.
You sound too rational for this board; you make too many logical points and raise too many valid issues to ever win a popularity contest in this thread…
But keep up the good work. Quality over quantity every day of the week.
Except that ugly and obese people have sex before 30 all the time. Have you ever been to a state fair and looked around at all the unattractive couples walking around, many of them with kids? And anyone who is abstaining until marriage for religious reasons is already married by 30 unless they have deeper underlying issues besides virginity.
None of your reasons are a good excuse. Even not attractive people find relationships with other not attractive people. Not attractive enough is code for "I myself am only a 3 but I refuse to date anyone who is less attractive than a 9 so I will not date anyone the rest of my life until that 9 comes knocking on my door" (which will never happen since a 9 won't date a 3 unless there's huge sums of money involved). It just never happened is code for "I just can't meet anyone but I also never leave my house". I don't even understand what you mean by bad luck since IMO luck is 90% effort and 10% actual random luck. If you haven't had sex by 30, it's due to the lack of effort, not just random bad luck. Not being what the opposite sex is looking for is basically code for "significant emotional and/or mental issues that prevent that person from functioning the way the majority of people do" which further proves my point that an over 30 virgin is that way because of deeper issues.
I firmly believe that there is somebody out there for everyone, but if you don't go looking for them you will never find them. Sitting at home and complaining about bad luck and being not attractive enough will certainly not get someone a date.
More blanket statements without basis in facts. I gave several reasons, not complaints, for older virginity how you choose to interpret them is your issue. Not everyone gets sex and relationships in this life. That's just the way it is. The whole " there is someone for everyone" thing is pure fantasy.
The odd part about the very nice Virgin girl I dated when I was 27 is she did not want to date men who were virgins or marry a man who was a virgin.
I also had a friends sister who did the whole virginity thing right up to one week before her 30 birthday and she also did not want to marry a virgin.
So what is the point?
You are using two personal anecdotes to prove some general rule or belief about virgins and non-virgins? It's easy to do that, because I think humans are wired to overemphasize the importance or meaning of their individual experiences, but doing that can lead to flawed thinking and inaccurate presumptions and generalizations.
BTW my main concern about the Virgin. And I mean we were serious, she was in full blown devil eye wanting to kill me mode when I broke off with her after almost two years.
I mean she was hot, seriously, perfect body, perfect face, everything. And she wore bikinis to beach, cocktail dresses.
But litterally, no touching anywhere, around bra or underware area. Litterally she was an amazing kisser. I was concerned she just did not like doing it, as it was way tooooo easy for her to just not do it. I mean my friends sister said it was hard to resist, and she did other stuff if you knew what I mean but this girl nothing. Not even through the pants rubbing.
It was crazy, even my Mom a nice Irish Catholic Women from back in the day who married as a virgin and was religious I told her we were not doing anything. She was like yea, I dont believe that for a second look at her.
I felt like I had a Corvette Car no engine. She looked fast but man nothing was happening.
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