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Yep, vigilance will not prevent them from cheating. But I'd rather be a snoop and find out within a month or two than be blind and naive and find out 18 months later when they announce they are leaving me.
Trust is earned and lost. Because you trusted them yesterday doesn't mean you will trust them in the future, if they violate that trust. And because you don't trust them today doesn't mean you won't begin trusting them as confidence builds. That is why "trust or leave" is not acceptable.
Yep, vigilance will not prevent them from cheating. But I'd rather be a snoop and find out within a month or two than be blind and naive and find out 18 months later when they announce they are leaving me.
Trust is earned and lost. Because you trusted them yesterday doesn't mean you will trust them in the future, if they violate that trust. And because you don't trust them today doesn't mean you won't begin trusting them as confidence builds. That is why "trust or leave" is not acceptable.
Trust or leave is perfectly acceptable.
Trust until they break the trust (whatever your version of that is).
Then leave.
All these other machinations are a bunch of hooky-pooky that will just create tension and bad feelings in the relationship.
Also-- she gave everyone her phone number? yeah right. She gave your husband her phone number and she has his.
This literally happened 3 weeks ago. A new woman in our league gave her number out to everyone. She is new in town (moved from Atlanta) and wants to expand her social circle.
Trust or leave is perfectly acceptable.
Trust until they break the trust (whatever your version of that is).
Then leave.
All these other machinations are a bunch of hooky-pooky that will just create tension and bad feelings in the relationship.
If that's your approach to relationships that's fine for you. Others may prefer not to throw out the baby with the bath water and walk away from a relationship the instant there is a problem. Most every long term relationship has endured through stormy seas and rough weather where there was "tension and bad feelings". Some people try to work through these issues - and they may take time - while others "just leave" because it isn't perfect at the moment.
Also-- she gave everyone her phone number? yeah right. She gave your husband her phone number and she has his.
I'm not sure if she really gave it to everyone but I'm sure she gave it to my husband AND to our mutual friend who also didn't know her prior to that party. So that's at least two.
I'm not sure if she really gave it to everyone but I'm sure she gave it to my husband AND to our mutual friend who also didn't know her prior to that party. So that's at least two.
What do you want to happen, OP? What would put your mind at ease? How can he regain your trust?
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