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So then divorce him. What do you want us to say?? You've already been given advice to communicate with him, along with some paranoid advice to hack into his phone, etc.
Look, my ex cheated on me. I know what that is. Could I have been more diligent and asked him where he was going, what he was doing, who he was spending time with during the few hours he wasn't with me or at work? I suppose, but it would not have done any good. You can only tighten the leash so much. If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat. All YOU can do is communicate your concerns to him.
I think, the OP wants to impose some type of retributive justice upon the husband; anything less would not put her at ease.
Ive been cheated on numerous times, and one thing Ive learn is that once communication ceases, bad things happen.
I have to agree with one opinion here. If your husband did something that seems like it was suspicious to you and then he explains it and you don't like his explanation or don't accept it, then you have to dump him.
Whats the point of continuing our relationship with no trust?
If I ask my wife a question, I expect and believe everything she says to be the absolute truth. That is the only way to conduct a relationship. If you cannot do that, you need to end the relationship.
Personally if you have the phones on one family account, I'd go look at the text logs if they're available as well as the call logs. Then I would block her # from the provider's site.
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omg seriously? she isn't his parent, she has no right to block numbers!!! This is insanity. Listen, people cheat, but acting like someone's parent, setting boundaries, telling them who they can and cannot talk to, that will not stop it. People are saying " something could happen, keep an eye on things"...something could always happen in life, either you choose to trust someone and be happy, or you leave. Living day to day worrying, blocking numbers, thinking something " could " happen, not trust your partner every time they leave the house, what is the point? I have been cheated on, a few times, yes it sucks, it hurts, its a betrayal, but guess what, you move on, and get over it. Being cheated on in the past doesn't give me the right to take that out on my current husband, and monitor him, be suspicious, not want him to talk to other people ( women included). I am sure he talks to women, he works in a big corporation, and he even went to a concert with one a while ago to a band they both like that no one else likes, whatever, why worry about it. No, I haven't met her, but I have had no occasion to. If someone wants to cheat on you, believe me they will fine a way. The point is, decide to trust, or don't and leave. It's been 6 months. You have no clue what the future holds, no one does, so figure out if you can get over this, and if you can't, you have some decisions to make about the future.
Personally if you have the phones on one family account, I'd go look at the text logs if they're available as well as the call logs. Then I would block her # from the provider's site.
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omg seriously? she isn't his parent, she has no right to block numbers!!! This is insanity. Listen, people cheat, but acting like someone's parent, setting boundaries, telling them who they can and cannot talk to, that will not stop it. People are saying " something could happen, keep an eye on things"...something could always happen in life, either you choose to trust someone and be happy, or you leave. Living day to day worrying, blocking numbers, thinking something " could " happen, not trust your partner every time they leave the house, what is the point? I have been cheated on, a few times, yes it sucks, it hurts, its a betrayal, but guess what, you move on, and get over it. Being cheated on in the past doesn't give me the right to take that out on my current husband, and monitor him, be suspicious, not want him to talk to other people ( women included). I am sure he talks to women, he works in a big corporation, and he even went to a concert with one a while ago to a band they both like that no one else likes, whatever, why worry about it. No, I haven't met her, but I have had no occasion to. If someone wants to cheat on you, believe me they will fine a way. The point is, decide to trust, or don't and leave. It's been 6 months. You have no clue what the future holds, no one does, so figure out if you can get over this, and if you can't, you have some decisions to make about the future.
Absolutely.
To dwell on this after six months to the point of arguing about it on a message board is insanity.
I also agree with Hawaiiancoconut that she's looking for retribution.
Personally if you have the phones on one family account, I'd go look at the text logs if they're available as well as the call logs. Then I would block her # from the provider's site.
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omg seriously? she isn't his parent, she has no right to block numbers!!! This is insanity. Listen, people cheat, but acting like someone's parent, setting boundaries, telling them who they can and cannot talk to, that will not stop it. People are saying " something could happen, keep an eye on things"...something could always happen in life, either you choose to trust someone and be happy, or you leave. Living day to day worrying, blocking numbers, thinking something " could " happen, not trust your partner every time they leave the house, what is the point? I have been cheated on, a few times, yes it sucks, it hurts, its a betrayal, but guess what, you move on, and get over it. Being cheated on in the past doesn't give me the right to take that out on my current husband, and monitor him, be suspicious, not want him to talk to other people ( women included). I am sure he talks to women, he works in a big corporation, and he even went to a concert with one a while ago to a band they both like that no one else likes, whatever, why worry about it. No, I haven't met her, but I have had no occasion to. If someone wants to cheat on you, believe me they will fine a way. The point is, decide to trust, or don't and leave. It's been 6 months. You have no clue what the future holds, no one does, so figure out if you can get over this, and if you can't, you have some decisions to make about the future.
Their is a difference to setting boundaries and having none at all.
I would say most people never have "the talk" they just assume each feels the same....until they don't
Stuff that matters. Stuff that would interest her. Funny stuff. I mean, I could talk about all the minute details of my day...did I brush my teeth up or down this time? How many seconds did I rinse with Listerine? Did I sign 35 charts or 34? Did I hit all the red lights on the way home? Did I eat broccoli or carrots with lunch?
I mean, crap happens all day long that is just silly stuff that isn't worth talking about again. A lot of that is personal interaction with other people. Telling her someone texted bc they enjoyed eating food just sounds completely asinine to me.
That's exactly my point! Do I bother to tell my gf about my mundane drive to work? No. Do I tell her I had a sandwich in the break room? No. Do I tell her an attractive woman that I met ata party a few weeks ago let me know she was in town and we went out for a nice lunch? Yes. Because that is NOT some typical silly stuff that happens all day long. It was likely the most atypical thing that happened all day if not all week so it deserves mentioning. To not mention something like that is not an oversight.
That's exactly my point! Do I bother to tell my gf about my mundane drive to work? No. Do I tell her I had a sandwich in the break room? No. Do I tell her an attractive woman that I met ata party a few weeks ago let me know she was in town and we went out for a nice lunch? Yes. Because that is NOT some typical silly stuff that happens all day long. It was likely the most atypical thing that happened all day if not all week so it deserves mentioning. To not mention something like that is not an oversight.
So what do you suggest the OP does about the relationship?
I am a guy. Never been married but I believe chatting with a strange woman and having lunch with her would be totally inappropriate behavior. At a minimum the husband (or wife) should inform the wife (or husband) of the lunch so everything is out in the open.
This.
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