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That's exactly my point! Do I bother to tell my gf about my mundane drive to work? No. Do I tell her I had a sandwich in the break room? No. Do I tell her an attractive woman that I met ata party a few weeks ago let me know she was in town and we went out for a nice lunch? Yes. Because that is NOT some typical silly stuff that happens all day long. It was likely the most atypical thing that happened all day if not all week so it deserves mentioning. To not mention something like that is not an oversight.
Do you not get to meet and befriend attractive people on a regular basis?
I have to agree with you that I would have told my wife that I went out to lunch with someone I just met. Not because of the person, but because I never go out to eat.
Assuming this is legit and not some social experiment from a college student, due to the fact that there are other threads with almost identical situations....
This is the line that bothers me:
Quote:
He said he didn't tell me about it because he didn't want me to think the wrong thing.
You think that maybe the reason you are having trust issues now is because HE didn't trust YOU enough to tell you about it? That he put the 'blame' on you? "I didn't tell you because of you" ...that's what sticks out to me more than anything else written.
You think that maybe the reason you are having trust issues now is because HE didn't trust YOU enough to tell you about it? That he put the 'blame' on you? "I didn't tell you because of you" ...that's what sticks out to me more than anything else written.
I think you brought out on of the most important issues. I know anytime I feel I don't want to tell my spouse something (whether it's related to money, kids, whatever) is an indicator to march right in and tell him.
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Assuming this is legit and not some social experiment from a college student, due to the fact that there are other threads with almost identical situations....
This is the line that bothers me:
You think that maybe the reason you are having trust issues now is because HE didn't trust YOU enough to tell you about it? That he put the 'blame' on you? "I didn't tell you because of you" ...that's what sticks out to me more than anything else written.
Agree.
I have a real problem with anyone using that reason not to tell you something.
Your husband was wrong to do what he did, and made it worse by not telling you. I would be very upset if my husband did this, and he would feel the same if it were reversed.
Showed this thread to my husband of less than a year, he said that your husband may be cheating and covers it up with casual texts to make it all seem nothing is happening in writing.
Personally, that other chic should know her boundaries and back off. Nothing wrong with being friendly, but only to the husband and no mention of wanting to meet the wife? Sending a friendly text here and there is fine but everyday for 2 weeks? Aren't there other people she can go meet?
Assuming this is legit and not some social experiment from a college student, due to the fact that there are other threads with almost identical situations....
This is the line that bothers me:
You think that maybe the reason you are having trust issues now is because HE didn't trust YOU enough to tell you about it? That he put the 'blame' on you? "I didn't tell you because of you" ...that's what sticks out to me more than anything else written.
Yes! This!
And...for me, the whole bit about sending a picture of slices of bread and saying it reminded him of her? To me, that means he wants her to know that he is thinking of her. If my husband ever did that I would be furious!
OP, if it were me, I would be honest. Let your husband know that this whole situation is still bothering you as much as it is...because if it has been 6 months, you are clearly not over it. Best of luck.
If someone wants to cheat on you, believe me they will fine a way. The point is, decide to trust, or don't and leave.
Yep, vigilance will not prevent them from cheating. But I'd rather be a snoop and find out within a month or two than be blind and naive and find out 18 months later when they announce they are leaving me.
Trust is earned and lost. Because you trusted them yesterday doesn't mean you will trust them in the future, if they violate that trust. And because you don't trust them today doesn't mean you won't begin trusting them as confidence builds. That is why "trust or leave" is not acceptable.
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