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It's not what you say or how much of it you say, but your actions that will show her what kind of person you are and intend to be to both her and the baby. So far you haven't shown her that your good for her or the baby. Stick with getting yourself help, both AA and counceling. Learn what a good relationship is suppose to be and what that means to you. Only when you are sober and know what it is that you want in your life will you be able to obtain it.
You can only change yourself and you NEED to do it fast
Your girl may be gone for good or she may be watching to see how you handle yourself. In the long run you need to work on you. Maybe send her a note telling her the steps you are taking to fix yourself and ASK HER WHAT SHE NEEDS FOR HERSELF AND THE BABY. Too often an addict [yes, you are an addict] only sees the world from their own perspective. Good luck, you have some serious work ahead of you.
yeah , so do you think taht shes just not talking back to me on the phone or texting is bc shes trying ot make some space bc i guess i really didnt give it to her and then she wants to see where she stands ater she thinks for a bit??? or what??? and also would there be anything at all to show her how sorry i am besides going to conseling to try and fix the problem??
Well, I watched my father die from the complications of alcoholism, and it wasn't a pretty sight. I watched him scream obsenties at my mother, and life was hell for my sister and I also. And just so you know, (for alcoholics), drinking is just a symptom of a deeper problem. You really do need to get to AA and stay there for the rest of your life. Because alcoholism doesn't get better, and it doesn't even stay the same. It ALWAYS gets worse as the alcoholic continues to drink. I notice some of your posts are pretty clear, while others appear as if your drunk even as you type them. You are young man, get you some help for this thing. I send you my best wishes and hopes that you will seek recovery for yourself, this girl, and your child!
Do we know for sure he is an alocholic? He just said when he drinks...this may mean that he drinks on occasion......but, more than likely, AA would be benifical! Anyhow....OP - You said you are 21. You are a man, start acting like it! You have made the decision to bring a life into this world and you need to take care of that life. It's your responsibility. If the father of my children ever said he didn't want or didn't love our children, I'd walk away from him in a heartbeat and never even THINK of going back. Drunk or not....it's not something to be said about your child. Your ex-girlfriend is strong and smart, in my eyes. Good for her for getting out of a bad relationship before it got worse.
Go get some help...be a man and do what you have to do. You are only 21 years old and you have the rest of your life to find a woman....you need to focus on your child and raising that baby better than you were raised!
Do we know for sure he is an alocholic? He just said when he drinks...this may mean that he drinks on occasion......
Yes, based on what is described in the opening post, that is alcoholism.
Also this person is in their 20's, and as previous post by Dennis58 points out, the behavior gets worse and the chaos increases, in both the person's life, and the people around him (like the woman and their baby).
That is certain, and that is predictable.
Recovery is a choice and it is a lifelong commitment.
The best course of action would be to get her to abort the fetus as soon as possible, and both of you can get on with your lives.
If she refuses to get an abortion, point out to her that she will be raising the kid on her own with no support from you, as you are an alcoholic and not married to her. Child support paternity cases are seldom successful unless involving rich celebrities.
If you choose to be a violent, unhappy, drunk so be it. You will have plenty of company in the world and the brewing and distilling industries will appreciate your business. But, it would be foolish to choose to be a violent, unhappy drunk, with emotional or physical ties to past mistakes.
lol you guys are no help at all. i drink pry like 1 time a week. and why in the **** would we want an abortion you jackass. you people are horrible im done with this thread. some people on here are nice and helpful the rest are just horrible people. i know in my gut that this is not over she sees that im getting help and im trying to fix this problem and that is the only time its bad! thanks for that no help!
lol you guys are no help at all. i drink pry like 1 time a week. and why in the **** would we want an abortion you jackass. you people are horrible im done with this thread. some people on here are nice and helpful the rest are just horrible people. i know in my gut that this is not over she sees that im getting help and im trying to fix this problem and that is the only time its bad! thanks for that no help!
Are you saying that we are horrible because we tell you the real, harsh, truth that you are indeed an alcoholic? You had better hope she may be too gullible to get back together with you, because to be honest, she shouldn't go back to you, because you don't deserve her.
Oh, by the way, w/ your alcoholic problem, how can you see yourself as a fit father to her child?
And also, if you are indeed NOT mature enough, you wouldn't be this upset about what people say IN RESPONSE to your post. Your latest post indicates a sense of defensiveness on your part, perhaps because you know that the truth stings?
If you can't respond maturely w/o cussing out other people, then you should re-evaluate your true intentions of posting on here. You say you "need help", but somebody that "needs help" takes all the advice, whatever it is, to heart and consideration, w/o having to cuss out others. I think you are here to find people that are "on your side", saying that everything is going to be OK, and that you're not a drunk (bleeep, bleep!), etc. Well, too bad, you can't find it here.
...you guys are no help at all...you people are horrible im done with this thread...
You have learned a valuable lesson.
"If you look for pearls in the pig pen, don't be surprised if they are covered with pig shiit."
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