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Really. It will be interesting to watch as the thread unfolds and we see all the ugly churlishness of guys who were apparently raised in a barn with absolutely no manners at all complain about having to pay for a date that THEY ask for. Should be good for a few laughs.
This has come up before on here Jade.......... With very interesting views and opinions.....
Your right though I couldn't believe the outcome of the last time it came up ( not all men obviously but enough ) as it genuinely all comes natural to me to pay for a night out even if they have asked ME out!
I just made the same point as you regarding after when we've asked you out as well LMAO!! but I know paying for a date is only one part of dating life but its hugely important and it makes me laugh when they wonder why they have Problems dating
This thread and the million other ones like it will typically shake out along generation lines with the older guys typically not minding paying and the younger guys typically balking at it, seen it about a millions times. Note I said typically a couple of times.
This has come up before on here Jade.......... With very interesting views and opinions.....
Your right though I couldn't believe the outcome of the last time it came up ( not all men obviously but enough ) as it genuinely all comes natural to me to pay for a night out even if they have asked ME out!
I just made the same point as you regarding after when we've asked you out as well LMAO!! but I know paying for a date is only one part of dating life but its hugely important and it makes me laugh when they wonder why they have Problems dating
It's a guest/host thing. Once someone is a couple, fine, whatever works for them. But for those first few dates, whoever asks, pays. Usually if I like a guy, I'll be the one to suggest, and be prepared to spring for, the third date. But TBH, it has been my experience that the men I've dated didn't particularly like it when I took out my wallet. It's actually a point of pride, and they didn't like not being the one to hand the tab to the waiter. It was like they felt emasculated or something.
I find it odd to the point of being surreal that someone would complain about a guest accepting an invitation to be a guest. I also find it absolutely bizarre that anyone would harbor resentment about it. Generally dates are to signify that you are interested in and like someone. I don't know about you, but when I like someone, I like to do nice things for them, and that includes treating them to something.
Way too many young bucks on here view dating as some kind of transaction. And 90% of the time, those are the same guys who complain about never having been in a relationship or had sex. Well, if you can't get the basics right, how in heaven's name can you expect to succeed in a relationship where presumably you love someone? Are they going to get out a ledger?
It's a guest/host thing. Once someone is a couple, fine, whatever works for them. But for those first few dates, whoever asks, pays. Usually if I like a guy, I'll be the one to suggest, and be prepared to spring for, the third date. But TBH, it has been my experience that the men I've dated didn't particularly like it when I took out my wallet.
I find it odd to the point of being surreal that someone would complain about a guest accepting an invitation to be a guest. I also find it absolutely bizarre that anyone would harbor resentment about it. Generally dates are to signify that you are interested in and like someone. I don't know about you, but when I like someone, I like to do nice things for them, and that includes treating them to something.
Way too many young bucks on here view dating as some kind of transaction. And 90% of the time, those are the same guys who complain about never having been in a relationship or had sex. Well, if you can't get the basics right, how in heaven's name can you expect to succeed in a relationship where presumably you love someone? Are they going to get out a ledger?
I basically agree that whom/who (never got that part right) ever asks/invites should do the paying. I'm just old school and even if a woman asked me out first on a first date, I'd feel weird not paying for it. After a date or two I wouldn't have an issue with her paying and reciprocating, but that very first time, IDK... probably not gonna happen in my world. LOL
Yes I'd agree that " gentlemanly rules " do come more natural to the elder generation. But is pure common sense and being decent to pay for it? Especially when the chances are it was the MAN that asked her out!
Don't get me wrong, here's the thing.
If you're the one calling your good friends for a night out, they won't expect you to pay again and again. In fact, a new guy won't expect you to foot the bill for him even if it's the first time he joined your group of friends.
If you want to argue that it's because men and women are different, it's not. The custom of paying for going out in a coffee shop or a club is 20th century "custom". It's "origins" stem from early 20th century in America and England and during the time when this "custom" arose, teenage boys were the ones who already worked before being legal adults, supporting even their elderly parents (adulthood was also 21 y/o at that time and only got lowered when military needed more meat fodder for wars).
Observing the whole context at the time and desired family setting, the idea of "stay-at-home wives" became affordable for middle-class households, unlike in 19th century, when this custom actually arose among very wealthy folks. The custom of stay-at-home wives generally faded away as more and more work became evaluated via payments, stay-at-home wives actually had plenty of work.
In our time you have different setting. Both men and women are expected to work. Idea of "stay-at-home wives" is most present among the middle-class and the less affluent folks, unlike before. These folks are the ones who are the least likely to afford it, anyways, thus the point is moot.
Also worth noting - today's teenagers and 20-something adults regularly depend on their parents when it comes to income and parents tend to (financially) help their kids even while in their 50s and 60s. Just ask yourself how come so many students study in their 20s without any stable job that can cover their expenses and you'll get my point.
In such environment, women who expect a guy to pay are basically expecting that guy's parents to pay it. That's the most stupid part. It's not about chivalry, it's about being obnoxious, disrespectful and entitled.
On top of that, these young women also get the money when they go out, but they spend it on themselves, not for a guy they date but so they can elevate their attractiveness in general.
It isn't much different even if a guy makes his own money. It's completely stupid to have your "friends" expect or demand you to pay for things each time you are with him. Now just imagine when a relative stranger demands it on the basis that she might wish to date you.... see the point? It's not about being a gentleman. It's about women wanting to feel their own entitlement. She'll be forced to make her mind quickly and not to string you along while waiting for a guy who strikes her fancy in a better way. There's no rational explanation on why a woman would reject a guy simply because he didn't pay for her, besides the obvious: desire for personal entitlement and desire to play the field while stringing a guy along in hope someone better will show up.
Idea that "man asked her out" is moot, she should pay what she orders.
Don't get me wrong, here's the thing.
If you're the one calling your good friends for a night out, they won't expect you to pay again and again. In fact, a new guy won't expect you to foot the bill for him even if it's the first time he joined your group of friends.
If you have read the whole thing, you'd see a carefully elaborated explanation. There's even less of an incentive for me to pay for someone else other than people I see and am involved on a daily basis.
It is an unfortunate, outmoded thing for men but it still has to be done. I have paid for early stage dates where the woman had a higher salary than I did and she walked away, meaning I basically wasted money. Money wasted on lousy dates probably helps the economy at large.
Really. It will be interesting to watch as the thread unfolds and we see all the ugly churlishness of guys who were apparently raised in a barn with absolutely no manners at all complain about having to pay for a date that THEY ask for. Should be good for a few laughs.
Bottom line is: If you can't afford to spring for a date, either find something free to do, or wait until you are in a position where you can afford to date. A grown man does not expect women to pay for dates that the man asks for. It's boorish and rude, and not the way it is done in the United States. Those who don't like it need to leave and go live in a country where they will fit better.
And no, it's not "scarce" among men over 40, or even among men over 35, for them to expect to pay when they are hosting a date. Not sure what low-class people the OP is talking about.
lol! This forum seems to attract a fair number of barn people.
But yeah, nobody said a date has to cost money. (This has been repeated so many times on this forum, it should be a sticky.) Nobody's holding a gun to the guys' heads.
Generally the guy pays for the first date in my world. I'm happy to alternate buying drinks for each other if we meet in a pub, but he still has to buy the first one. Any dates after that I'm happy to take turns.
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) as it genuinely all comes natural to me to pay for a night out even if they have asked ME out! 
