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I'm watching Jay Leno's "Tonight Show". He had a bit where a bunch of 6th graders were asked various relationship and Valentine's Day questions. One girl was asked, "What question should you ask on a first date?" She replied, "A good question to ask would be 'Are you gay?'"
Hopefully that is not a difficult question to ask in a relationship. Better yet, hopefully one would not feel the urge to ask that question to their significant other!
On the whole financial thing, I have to say that if I didn't already feel that I knew about my other half's financial situation just from it coming up in conversation the way things do, I probably wouldn't feel that I trusted him enough to marry him in the first place!
The hardest thing to bring up for me has always been the marriage/ kids issue - it's a tricky thing to get a view on without sounding pushy.
^ Maybe DSR meant to ask, "Do you drink to excess?"
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Originally Posted by sms0511
Asking the bolded questions are a bit vague, and a bit too soon to judge if the intended person has an addiction. You can say YES to those questions w/o being labeled an addict. Do I drink? Yes. Do I depend on drinking to "be myself"? No. You see how that works?
It doesn't matter to me because any drinking alcohol is a deal-breaker to me, the person is out. Same for smoking, same for recreational drugs, same for gambling. It's my list so I get to set and keep the bottom line. It only has to make sense to me, not to anyone else!
It doesn't matter to me because any drinking alcohol is a deal-breaker to me, the person is out. Same for smoking, same for recreational drugs, same for gambling. It's my list so I get to set and keep the bottom line. It only has to make sense to me, not to anyone else!
Wow, you are very strict. Not even casual drinking, like a glass of wine w/ a fancy meal, would pass for you?
What are some difficult questions to ask in a relationship and how do you go about ascertaining answers? Since I'm a guy, I'll present questions from a man's PoV. Obviously, these personal questions wouldn't be asked initially. However, in time, the guy would want to know. This list is presented in arbitrary order.
- How much do you weigh?
- How much do you make (salary)?
- What is your net worth (assets minus liabilities)?
- How many sex partners have you had?
- What nontraditional sex acts have you performed and are willing to try?
And finally:
- Do these pants make me look fat? (Just kidding! )
1: Who cares as long as I am attractive to the person I'm with?
2: Enough that I don't need your money.
3: If we get married, then I'll share this with you -- after the prenup.
4: Enough to know that if you're asking this question, you're insecure.
5: If you're a very good boy, you'll find out.
6: Take them off and I'll tell you.
And I thought my life was complicated. I feel so much better now.
There are worse stories. One of my neighbors has had custody of his daughter most of her life, because the mother is a meth freak and has spent most of the girl's life in jail. Because of a screwup with the custody papers, the mother and new BF took the girl and sued for back child support for all those years [the girl is 17], and a dip of a family court judge refused to even listen to the father's lawyer, he just said "You just don't want to pay your back child support." Back child support for a child who lived with him because the state took the daughter away from the mother the first time she was arrested? And one who is living with him again, because the mother can't handle having a teenager, at that. In the middle of that, the state sued him for reimbursement of benefits for a child he didn't even know he had - the mother had never told anyone who the father was, including him, but one day she apparently let it slip, so he's got a 20 year old son he's never met that suddenly he's having to pay for. Still another one, a much older man who'd come to the voc rehab program where I worked, wanted us to help him get a job. He hadn't gone much beyond grade school and had no real skills beyond an incredible patience and ability to work with the developmentally disabled. However, he'd been an alcoholic [sober for maybe 30 years] and left his family in California. Turned out there was nothing we could do, because every penny he might have earned would have gone back to California as back support for 'children' who were long since grown, married, and had kids of their own. In light of that, we couldn't provide services because the prime objective is 'gainful employment' and the only one who would have gained would have been the state of California. You can do all the due diligence you want, have all the background checks done you want, and things like that still pop up unexpectedly.
Actually, they sound kind of like posters for the benefits of a vasectomy, but there's no way to undo the past.
What are some difficult questions to ask in a relationship and how do you go about ascertaining answers? Since I'm a guy, I'll present questions from a man's PoV. Obviously, these personal questions wouldn't be asked initially. However, in time, the guy would want to know. This list is presented in arbitrary order.
- How much do you weigh?
- How much do you make (salary)?
- What is your net worth (assets minus liabilities)?
- How many sex partners have you had?
- What nontraditional sex acts have you performed and are willing to try?
And finally:
- Do these pants make me look fat? (Just kidding! )
I've never asked or been asked any of those questions- even when I was married. Okay, maybe I have asked the last one.
Wow, you are very strict. Not even casual drinking, like a glass of wine w/ a fancy meal, would pass for you?
Are you asking me out for a nice meal in an elegant restaurant, Beo-Woooof? LOL
Remember I'm the one who said in the other post heroin=alcohol=cocaine in my way of thinking so for a lover, it's no drugs all the way. I want the sweetie I'm with to have all his sensory apparatus fully intact and firing. Now about that nice dinner......
[quote=DimSumRaja;2837042]Are you asking me out for a nice meal in an elegant restaurant, Beo-Woooof? LOL
Quote:
Remember I'm the one who said in the other post heroin=alcohol=cocaine in my way of thinking so for a lover, it's no drugs all the way. I want the sweetie I'm with to have all his sensory apparatus fully intact and firing. Now about that nice dinner......
Would you like to have a nice meal in an elegant restaurant, DSR? But you'd have to drink a glass of wine and smoke a joint.
But seriously, it'll be tough to find a guy who doesn't do those things, esp. have the occasional alcoholic beverage. It's like a guy trying to find a virgin woman ... good luck!
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)
, but there's no way to undo the past.
