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I'm in a very happy long term relationship but in my days of dating it would have gone something like that :
- Smoker
-Heavy drinker
-Drug user
-Arrogant
-Self absorbed/vain
-Selfish
-Thoughtless
-Boring
-Cruel or nasty
-Petty
-No sense of humour
-Didn't like animals
-Wanted kids
-More in love with himself or his Mom than me
-Hated travelling
-Not interested in the world around him
-Macho
-Would spend more time with his friends than with me
-Unfaithful
-Dishonest
-Disloyal
-Greedy or more interested in money than anything else
-unable to love or commit
-sport fanatic
-Racist
-Bigoted
-Homophobic
-Jingoistic
I think these would have me a prospective partner a no-no for me.
-
1- Cheated on women in the past.
2- Doesn't want kids.
3- If he doesn't believe in the importance of traditional family roles
4- If he isn't respectful
5- If he wants to live in the city.
I'm (ahem) middle aged, and am starting over from scratch after a 12-year relationship with a man who may turn out to have been the L of my L. One of the things that parted us was something that I think many middle-aged men -- and some women, though maybe not as badly? -- become possessed by: the road not taken, what-if, if-only, I-coulda-been-a-contender type midlife crisis.
So...a dealbreaker for me would be, not happy with his present situation and the choices he's made in life, or, not working toward getting himself happy -- and loving the journey he's put himself on.
Of course, number of felony convictions is important too
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by delusianne
I'm (ahem) middle aged, and am starting over from scratch after a 12-year relationship with a man who may turn out to have been the L of my L. One of the things that parted us was something that I think many middle-aged men -- and some women, though maybe not as badly? -- become possessed by: the road not taken, what-if, if-only, I-coulda-been-a-contender type midlife crisis.
So...a dealbreaker for me would be, not happy with his present situation and the choices he's made in life, or, not working toward getting himself happy -- and loving the journey he's put himself on.
Of course, number of felony convictions is important too
I have a long list, I'm sure no one is shocked at that.
1. He doesn't like cats.
2. He doesn't like children.
3. He wants me to move somewhere cold.
4. He tells me he cheated on his previous partner.
5. He tells me he has a drug problem/drinking problem.
6. He tells me he has a criminal history.
7. He tells me he is bi or has been with men.
8. He tells me he wants to invite a third person into our bed.
This is hilarious. Great idea.
(1) gotta have a dog's personality
(2) don't
(3) the biggest dealbreaker listed here....agree
(4) (5) (6) very Jerry Springer here
(7) (8) sounds like "Basic Instinct" with the roles reversed
3. But everybody has a past, including you. So deal with it.
5. Or people who talk about their pets' personalities and antics all the time, as if they were surrogate children or something. Trust me. You just don't know how creepy that is.
8. I don't wear plaid jackets.
10. You wouldn't believe how many men get tossed out for no other reason than their earning power. "Oh, he's great, but he's just a grocery store manager (or carpenter or machinist or whatever ever solidly middle-class profession there is)."
Mr. Vestavia Woods or wherever in Bham (I know where, I know where, j/k):
I like reading your posts. This one is particularly accurate.
(3) at a certain time, you just have to say "today is the first day of the rest of your life," either alone, or together
(5) my best friend from undergrad and his wife...they chose not to have kids, so their small dogs were the surrogates...they had a couple that were cute yelpy little $hits, but they had one that was an ugly terrier mix that had an ugly personality to go with it. He never warmed up to me. When IT finally died, there were mass e-mails, text messages and all this crap sent out, soliciting sympathy. I was glad it croaked, but I couldn't tell him that. By the way, they all had the current BABY names. Every last one they've ever had.
(8) what's with the plaid jacket thing? you mentioned it in one of my posts.
(10) oh, yes....oh, yes...the tossing out based on income....kind of harkens back to my thread about childless dating those with kids...that's our perogative, too. (That was ANOTHER thread, let it go). I wonder how a guy with looks that would rank 8 on a scale of 10 ....BUT had a Master of Library Science would fare. Now THAT would be a trip.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 03-07-2008 at 09:53 PM..
Liars/fakers/two-faced people: those who pretend to be something they're not from the very beginning.
That requirement pretty much takes care of the rest....except sports...gotta play, or at least watch.....
I couldn't date a dookie, but rule #1 excludes them anyway.
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(he doesn't even like to watch sports, so I have control of the remote......lol)
