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Though I never dated heavy guys, it did not mean they had perfect bodies, maybe nice chests, arms - but not "built". They were also not tall, anywhere from 5' 6", to 6' 0". I recall a couple being maybe 5' 3" - (I am 5' 4") and didn't care - being attractive to me, nice lips, sweet, funny, warm.... that is MY criteria.
The last boyfriend of several years had no hair on top, but was a good-looking guy - and his voice... well see, that can be enticing to a woman.. he totally turned me on. OH, and he was not well-off, but intelligent.. we had mutual interests and he regularly made me laugh (like my dad would). It is about an energy that one exhibits and mutual compatibility..that is attraction.
(Regular men must be connecting with regular women, from the looks of things...but from reading these topics, you would wonder).
I figured 6'0 wasn't tall anymore LOL!!!
But seriously, if height mattered, me and my shorter friends would be screwed...
But you have nailed it in my opinion. It is about the energy.
Notice how none of the women answered my question about whether they would be with the guy who was shorter than them, and was fat and bald.
Can a guy make up for being shorter than almost all women, fat and bald? Sure he can with other attributes. But he's at a big disadvantage compared to the guys who are taller, lean, and have a full head of hair.
Many women won't answer that because it'll make them sound shallow. Nobody wants to hurt someone's feelings for rejecting over something they can't control.
Anyone who doesn't think physical matters and everyone can attract someone, I've been on Tinder 4 months. Not ONE single like I've gotten, not ONE.
Get off of Tinder man you'll get absolutely nowhere on there I don't know why everyone thinks online dating is the end all be all. I personally think they're useless.
These guys HAVE been ignoring what women say we actually want (because what do we know?) and following the conventional guy wisdom and are getting nowhere. They come on here to say they can't get dates and solicit more advice. Not from women, of course. That's clear from all the "no, this is how things REALLY are" replies to women.
But then they're back again to get more advice that hasn't worked in the past.
Okay, then.
The guys who come on here and complain the MOST about never getting dates are the ones who jump to happily agree with other guys that there's something wrong with women and that society is horrible and makes relationships impossible and blah blah, and insist women are full of it in our replies.
How's that working for y.....Oh yeah. That's right. Never mind.
C'mon, didn't you get the memo?
All women want Brad Pitt or George Clooney. All of the other average guys (like me) are just SOL. Also, since height matters, they are both 6'5" or something and not under 6'0" (They aren't the tallest)
Apparently, the women that have approached me and asked me out didn't get the memo.
I have to tell my (new) girlfriend this.
Remember women!!!!
You only want the top 20% of guys. Get it right!!! Leave the rest of the 80% alone!!!
Notice how none of the women answered my question about whether they would be with the guy who was shorter than them, and was fat and bald.
I have, and did also answer your question, if Isay I would have to meet the guy in person first as it's all about the chemistry for me, why do you think that's not true? It doesn't fit in your box, that's all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
Knowing what the majority of women like and don't like will go a long way toward increasing a guy's chance of success.
Most women (at least the ones who are not bipolar, psycho, bunny burners) like a guy who makes them feel safe, is intelligent, is healthy, has a sense of humor, is kind and caring, is assertive and confident, is clean and dressed appropriately, and has social proof, among other things.
These things are pretty universal and easily translated into interactions with women.
The qualities in bold aren't related to tall, overweight, or hairline! All people make better dates when they feel better about themselves including their looks! They feel better, so they aren't so introverted and negative. More open to letting their positive qualities come out
In fact you know so much about what women like, so much more than what women are trying to tell you, we should have a little informal poll here. It would be: Which guy would you rather spend the night talking, laughing, being entertained with in this thread? Would you be surprised if you came in at the bottom percent? We don't even know what you look like but you come across as someone not very open minded, humorous, or charming. The things that matter MORE. To some, not all, but who do you want to end up with? Superficial?
If you're saying your looks put you in the top 20%, I'm trying to tell you -personality and presence are taking away points. I haven't given any advice here anyway, I don't have any dating advice, but I am an intelligent successful woman who has not started any post asking how to get a date...so I don't see where the negativity and criticism is coming from, by giving my opinion on what women like.
Many women won't answer that because it'll make them sound shallow. Nobody wants to hurt someone's feelings for rejecting over something they can't control.
Oh my cheeses! I have answered this like 3 times already, LOL.
I even itemized it this time around.
I think you guys just don't want to hear it. It changes your paradigm too much and it's not "formulaic" enough to be comfortable. It doesn't chop up and itemize women into neat groups and correct buttons to push.
Don't take my advice, that's fine, but don't pretend women haven't been answering this question, even if it's not in the way you want to hear.
Perhaps the useful question would be: how did all the many, many decidedly average in looks (or below average) who are in relationships, manage to hook up and marry and so on?
Because they do. Every single day. Look around.
Wouldn't that be more useful?
How useful is it to tell a man he should be taller?
Or am I just crazy?
They're doin it wrong. They are supposed to mope and whine about how no woman wants them because they are not in the Top 20%.
They're breaking the rules. They're not playing the game.
Oh my cheeses! I have answered this like 3 times already, LOL.
I even itemized it this time around.
I think you guys just don't want to hear it. It changes your paradigm too much and it's not "formulaic" enough to be comfortable. It doesn't chop up and itemize women into neat groups and correct buttons to push.
Don't take my advice, that's fine, but don't pretend women haven't been answering this question, even if it's not in the way you want to hear.
You did? I apologize and I always take your advice JerZ
Simple. Figure out the attributes that are going to increase their mate value and develop the ones they have control over.
When it comes to looks, this would be things like get in shape, dress well, be well groomed, get enough sleep, have a good diet, take care of one's teeth, get appropriate hair styles (how many women would be fine with combovers... yeah, that's what I thought).
Ok, that is sensible.
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