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Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteGem
Personally I am not into porn at all. I have tried watching it before when I was married and I felt yucky. I also was disturbed at some of the things the women were doing for money. I believe women are objectified and used like a piece of meat in the sex industry and also porn takes away the sexual energy which should be directed towards your partner.
As for the OP, my main concern would be that he lied to you and continues to lie. There is no excuse for lying to someone you claim to love. Also the tranny part reminded me of Hank & Kendra from the reality show. Both red flags!
I never noticed that. I pretty much knew if he was looking at porn, I was gonna get it! In fact, I don't think there were many (if any) times that he looked at porn and I didn't get it.
Do you also view a woman reading a sexy book as a red flag? Most women prefer that form of external stimulation over looking at pictures.
Men = visual. Women = cerebral. Same stuff, different media.
I never noticed that. I pretty much knew if he was looking at porn, I was gonna get it! In fact, I don't think there were many (if any) times that he looked at porn and I didn't get it.
Do you also view a woman reading a sexy book as a red flag? Most women prefer that form of external stimulation over looking at pictures.
Men = visual. Women = cerebral. Same stuff, different media.
Exactly. My wife seems to prefer sexy books and I'm all for anything that will put her in the mood. I hardly see it as some form of rejection.
how exactly do you know this? because you read it on the internet? because a bunch of guys have told you it is so? so it must be true? because you know every single male on this planet and you know for a fact that each and every one of them watches porn and masturbates too?
ridiculous. and i'm cracking up at the poster who thinks that if a guy doesn't do either then he must need to see a doctor.
You've got your head in the sand. How do you think the porn industry got so big ? Who is using it.........adolencent boys only ? Believe me, lots of very successful grown men in all fields are the guys logging onto these sites, not just kids who are whacking off for the first time.
And, this is nothing new, it has just been made easier by the internet. Those Playboy magazines, that your Grandfather and Father bought, were not being bought for the articles inside, believe me ! Magazines like Playboy and Penthouse became as big as they were because MEN were buying them.
But I go back to my original point that women need to understand men doing this has absolutely nothing.....zero.....zilch......nada to do with how much they love you or like you in bed. This is simply an outside activity that satisfies a need a lot of guys have. You should never think it has anything to do with you......it does not.
An example might be, I love steak, but every once in a while I might stop at McDonalds for a quick bite. Doesn't mean I don't love the food Mama cooks slaves over the stove to create, it just means I need to take care of a hunger pang at that moment and fast food was the easiest way to satisfy that need.
I never noticed that. I pretty much knew if he was looking at porn, I was gonna get it! In fact, I don't think there were many (if any) times that he looked at porn and I didn't get it.
Do you also view a woman reading a sexy book as a red flag? Most women prefer that form of external stimulation over looking at pictures.
Men = visual. Women = cerebral. Same stuff, different media.
You expect me to believe this? Next you'll be saying Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't popular because of the excellent writing and character development.
Exactly. My wife seems to prefer sexy books and I'm all for anything that will put her in the mood. I hardly see it as some form of rejection.
good answer,,
here is a man,,,that doesn't feel threatened and emotional and rejected if his wife is reading sexy books....he is confident in who he is,,,and he doesn't feel threatened by a book of fictional characters
confident women, don't get all dejected
also
here's something a guy cant say in real life.....
what if his wife/girlfriend let herself go?????? what if she's 100 lbs overweight??
that's not who he married
women don't put up with wife beaters or if he turned into a drunk or gambler or if he gained 100 lbs and is an emotional mess..
guys like looking at classic cars and nice looking women,
I'd say your reaction is over the top. Ask yourself why you feel threatened. Is it that he isn't attentive enough? Or is it your own self worth failing?
Men are inherently DESIGNED to wander, spread their seed. We needed that to establish human existence. Sort of moot now that we are facing a population crisis. But it is still how nature designed us. Monogamy is a woman thing. She needs a man that can feed her and protect her and her children. She wants him close always. She needs him to bring home the mastodon steaks regularly. But his instinct is to make as many children as he can far and wide.
So, getting his woolly off while staring at pictures is better than him running off making babies. A man that relieves his nature by fantasizing about strange women is less likely to stray. You could look at it as relationship security.
But to your own admittance, it isn't that he watches porn or fluffs his own pillow. It's that he said he didn't. Most likely that may have been true, but now he has found new horizons that feed that inherent need. His reluctance to be honest is based on his respect for you. You have implied that it is wrong. He wants to please you but he needs to please his wanderlust, too. I think it is you making it difficult for him, not vise versa. (Ha, vice versa...get it?)
Why not give him his space? Hell, you could spice up your own life by helping him. Put on a sexy video and a skimpy near nothing and show him you aren't threatened. Show him his prn is just background. You are the real deal. His stimulation could well stimulate you. Might be the best sex you two ever had.
Bottom line is it is natural.
Oh jezzus...you had to go there... I have no problems with guys doing their thing and watching porn while they do it. But j@cking off has nothing to do with spreading seed because.....there's nothing there to catch it! So let's skip the fako justifications and just admit they do it...doesn't matter why.
After all, women masturbate too! Oh you didn't know that? And they don't get pregnant from it even though all they ever want is more kids...it's instinct!
Oh jezzus...you had to go there... I have no problems with guys doing their thing and watching porn while they do it. But j@cking off has nothing to do with spreading seed because.....there's nothing there to catch it! So let's skip the fako justifications and just admit they do it...doesn't matter why.
After all, women masturbate too! Oh you didn't know that? And they don't get pregnant from it even though all they ever want is more kids...it's instinct!
the Article that I linked in relation to that says otherwise. Women masturbate to . yes... but that doesn't negate the other argument in of itself.
Act One =
"When you have no testosterone, you have no desire. And when you have no desire, you don't have any content in your mind. You don't think about anything."
Act Two =
"After testosterone, there was no narrative. There was no language whatsoever. It was just, I would see a woman who was attractive or not attractive. She might have an attractive quality, nice ankles or something, and the rest of her would be fairly unappealing to me.
But that was enough to basically just flood my mind with aggressive, pornographic images, just one after another. It was like being in a pornographic movie house in my mind. And I couldn't turn it off. I could not turn it off. Everything I looked at, everything I touched, turned to sex."
There is a biological aspect to it... and it varies from person to person.
Testosterone is a steroid hormone from the androgen group and is found in humans and other vertebrates. In humans and other mammals, testosterone is secreted primarily by the testicles of males and, to a lesser extent, the ovaries of females.
So it is no surprise that some women also have the same drive.
If you don't want him watching porn maybe you have the wrong guy. Most people I know watch or have watched porn and aren't making such a big deal of it. Don't nag the guy. Guys hate being treated like they are living with their mom. Maybe you need to take a break from this relationship until you can decide what's really important.
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