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I completely understand what you're saying mate but in reality there's no excuse for " snapping " at a woman especially when your most probably the cause of her outburst
Most of the time men choose the wrong time and place to approach and with a complete disregard for her current mood and whether or not it's appropriate .....
From my experience the only time most women will be rude and mean in turning down a bloke is when they have been rude in asking or picking an inappropriate moment.
That's the best thing that an experienced bloke learns is timing, I'm sure you've heard the saying " fools rush in "? ..... That's very relevant to this
Yet another post you make I agree with LC. The whole point is dating is a numbers game I had to date about 4 women before finding the woman I'm compatible with now. The sad part was she was in my face the whole time when we reconnected last year.
Yet another post you make I agree with LC. The whole point is dating is a numbers game I had to date about 4 women before finding the woman I'm compatible with now. The sad part was she was in my face the whole time when we reconnected last year.
It is mate and perseverance is the key
I've done well with the ladies..... But ive lost count the amount of times I've been turned down, laughed at etc etc...... That's how you learn
If a guy starts talking to me out of the blue, then yep, I bring up my husband.
Why? Because most guys are usually only starting conversations to ask you out (not all, and less the older I get!!), so it gives them the information they need to move on, or stay and chat.
It's a just in case move that benefits both parties.
So if you are so bothered, start chatting with guys instead of women.
I must admit that's why I don't like talking to women I don't already know and have built a rapport with. I'm usually not hitting on them, but they'll probably think I am. If a woman brings up their SO then if i'm not hitting on them then I won't think anything of it. If I was hitting on them then i'd take it as my cue to leave and that's why they do it.
To get to the stage where i've built a rapport with a woman it'll be when they've initiated a conversation. If I initiate a conversation with a woman (and obviously it depends on factors like age) i'm paranoid they'll think i'm hitting on them. So usually if I do initiate a conversation it'll be with a older woman who won't have her guard up because a man has started talking to them.
This is an astonishing misread of everything I've said - although in the absence of actual experience people will bring their own shortsighted conclusions to the game.
FOR THE 10000TH time: it is not the signal of unavailability that bothers me, it is the assumption of interest to begin with during non-flirty conversation.
That is what pisses me off.
How about a simple analogy....
LOL... It's a self defense mechanism. Sometimes it's just automatic, like when you're wearing a low cut top and when you bend over.... your hand automatically goes up to your chest, or squatting when wearing a short skirt
....as opposed to bending over. Not every guy may be trying to look down your top or up your skirt, but by covering up.... you take the question out of the equation.
Some guys are openly flirtatious, some are more subtle and will come at you from a different angle. By nipping it in the bud... The question of what a guys intentions may or may not be hopefully becomes moot. Cards on the table. Don't take it personal... It's like a blanket insurance policy... You never know what may happen so you try and cover yourself.... Just in case.
You may not be " that guy", but it's hard to tell the players without a program.
It's not that we think we're all that and that every guy wants to hit on us, but in my experience.. Enough do to warrant counter measures. Lol
Last edited by Sydney123; 06-22-2016 at 01:11 PM..
I must admit that's why I don't like talking to women I don't already know and have built a rapport with. I'm usually not hitting on them, but they'll probably think I am. If a woman brings up their SO then if i'm not hitting on them then I won't think anything of it. If I was hitting on them then i'd take it as my cue to leave and that's why they do it.
To get to the stage where i've built a rapport with a woman it'll be when they've initiated a conversation. If I initiate a conversation with a woman (and obviously it depends on factors like age) i'm paranoid they'll think i'm hitting on them. So usually if I do initiate a conversation it'll be with a older woman who won't have her guard up because a man has started talking to them.
It's no big. It's not like we go into armadillo mode or anything.
I just drop the DH reference and continue on with the convo.
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It's no big. It's not like we go into armadillo mode or anything.
I just drop the DH reference and continue on with the convo.
I'd rather a girl did mention it. I'd feel more relaxed then as if we carry on a reasonable conversation she'd know i'm not trying to hit on her. I just don't want a woman to think i'm trying it on her if it's just an innocent conversation.
I know girls are constantly approached in a lot of cases but not every guy is trying it on.
I'm surprised no one has ever heard of this it's happened to me before as well...some women think a guy being friendly to them automatically means the guy wants to get in her pants so she goes into defense mode. In a way she is sort of flattering herself. This might be more of a phenomenon in certain parts of the country where there's more conservative, less progressive women or in parts of the country where the women are not used to men opening up the door for them and so on.
I'm surprised no one has ever heard of this it's happened to me before as well...some women think a guy being friendly to them automatically means the guy wants to get in her pants so she goes into defense mode. In a way she is sort of flattering herself. This might be more of a phenomenon in certain parts of the country where there's more conservative, less progressive women or in parts of the country where the women are not used to men opening up the door for them and so on.
This happened to me an hour ago. I asked the closest worker a question and she immediately stated that she was married but my question was where is the bathroom at? I wasn't even trying to hit on her. I think many women's (not all) ego is so blown up they think every man who asks her a question is hitting on her when in reality many men aren't.
I'd rather a girl did mention it. I'd feel more relaxed then as if we carry on a reasonable conversation she'd know i'm not trying to hit on her. I just don't want a woman to think i'm trying it on her if it's just an innocent conversation.
I know girls are constantly approached in a lot of cases but not every guy is trying it on.
Unfortunately, this circles back to the "Don't flatter yourself, honey!" nasty rebuttal (to the woman's embarrassment) or playing a "trick" or loudly humiliating thing...I'd be willing to bet a huge percentage of us women have had this happen (and more than once). We put it out on the table, nicely..."I just want to let you know that I like you as a friend but I don't see us dating"...and we get an angry, mocking or otherwise pretty bad response. No, not ALL guys do this...by far. But I'll tell you, when it does happen it's a lesson we don't soon forget and we assume it's because the person is embarrassed/caught out, so the next time, we try to be subtle. Believe it or not, we DO try to spare your feelings. We do try to be soft about it, gentle about it. Subtle. We try to have you NOT feel bad about it.
And then we get s-word for not coming right out with it. LOL.
Oh sigh.
Why not face facts here...a man who is being rejected won't appreciate the fact, no matter what (apparently not even if he didn't want the woman either...as evidenced by the point of this thread), and there IS no "perfect" way for the woman to do it, simply because it involves rejection. So we'll pay for that one way or another.
How about everybody just grows up and actually allows the rejector to have her own personality and style and experiences and be either subtle or flat-out, and you don't have an ego explosion and decide she did it the "wrong" way no matter what way that was? I'll bet that would be a huge step forward, for all of us.
Quote:
I'm surprised no one has ever heard of this it's happened to me before as well...some women think a guy being friendly to them automatically means the guy wants to get in her pants so she goes into defense mode. In a way she is sort of flattering herself. This might be more of a phenomenon in certain parts of the country where there's more conservative, less progressive women or in parts of the country where the women are not used to men opening up the door for them and so on.
Hi, wanderlust. It's not that we've never heard of it. In fact, mentioning "the boyfriend" is THE age-old way of GENTLY letting the man know you're not interested. However, OP claims it's consistent...pretty much most of the time...nearly all his interactions with any of these women. That is what's pretty unusual and in that case, something's up. That's just not normal...to literally have pretty much any woman one speaks to jump in with a "non-sequitor" (as the OP called it) mention of a husband or boyfriend even though it makes no sense to the conversation, and even though the man is supposedly giving no flirting signals. Further, he claims these women are all liars and that they're halfway to dropping trou just being in the same vicinity as these "handsome actors." He claims he has inside intel that that these women DON'T bring up boyfriends with any of these actors. He also claims to be reading minds, basically, in knowing somehow that the women are lying and are also mentioning the boyfriend for specific reasons the OP magically knows about. So no, we're not saying this never happens (mentioning an SO to avoid being asked out), it's the post and the claims as a whole that we think are sort of balderdash.
As far as the "flattering herself" thing, if that's true, who cares? Whom is that hurting? You? Herself? I can't see that's doing any harm. If she really isn't "all that" who cares? She'll figure that out for herself eventually when she can't get a date. Duh. So why would that bother you? It seems to bother the OP too. There's a pattern here and I believe that pattern goes down to ego...and not hers.
I won't touch the conservative/progressive babble, that sort of thing is an automatic MGTOW turnoff to me, I'm sorry. Someone else will have to help you with that.
Last edited by JerZ; 06-22-2016 at 03:55 PM..
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but in reality there's no excuse for " snapping " at a woman especially when your most probably the cause of her outburst 
I wasn't even trying to hit on her. I think many women's (not all) ego is so blown up they think every man who asks her a question is hitting on her when in reality many men aren't.
