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For a while, I thought I was typing in Klingon with the lack of comprehension from some of the people on this thread.
You weren't typing in Klingon, you were typing in Whiny. I'm sorry, not all of us understand that language quite as well.
So, okay. The huge problem is "personal and general biases" (LOL!). Good, you have decided what it is that bothers you about this situation, if it's actually a situation. So what do you plan to do about that? How will you be spreading awareness? And what awareness would it be? "Women, don't bring up your boyfriends anymore, it's obviously a personal and general bias"? I am being serious here. This "information" helps whom, and how? And what do you plan to do moving forward?
I don't have a dog in this fight either way, but I am curious as to whether or not anybody in this thread on either side of this "issue" fully understands and empathize's with the other point of view. This is a VERY minor issue and there are a lot more important things going on in the world but within the context of this thread, is it arguing just for the sake of arguing where ppl line up on sides, or is anybody really hearing each other? Op, I hear what you are saying and I understand your pov. I think Sydney123 gave you a pretty good answer. This thread could literally go back and forth forever...
I don't have a dog in this fight either way, but I am curious as to whether not anybody in this thread on either side of this "issue" fully understands and empathize's with the other point of view. This is a VERY minor issue and there are a lot more important things going on in the world but within the context of this thread, is it arguing just for the sake of arguing where ppl line up on sides, or is anybody really hearing each other? Op, I hear what you are saying and I understand your pov. I think Sydney123 gave you a pretty good answer. This thread could literally go back and forth forever...
Well, some of us did try to help. The OP didn't want to hear it. I asked the OP to investigate his possible part in this (even if subconsciously) since it seems to be something that happens to him more frequently than to other men. He freaked out. I then said it could be the length of the conversations, meandering or other factors that might "look like" he was just hanging onto the conversation waiting for an "in." He didn't want to hear that either. Meanwhile, some men on the thread said it happens to them but apparently not as frequently as to the OP so something must be up. OP didn't want to hear that either. Support that non-"handsome" men can attract women was shot down. Every. Single. Attempt. At. Help. Or. Explanation. Was. Shot. Down. Period, end of story.
Was there something we missed here in seeing the other person's side and trying to help? OP doesn't want to hear ANY of it. ALL he wants to hear is: 1. women are liars and are all entirely shallow, and no woman ever goes for a non-Hollywood-handsome man, period. 2. These women DEFINITELY WERE bringing up boyfriends for NO OTHER REASON than to make sure the OP doesn't ask them out. (Like we could possibly know that?) Sorry, how are any of us supposed to go, "Yes, you're right!" to that?
Yes, the thread could go back and forth forever, with the OP learning nothing, zip, and continuing to hate women...well, he'll probably do that latter anyway, thread or no thread.
Well, some of us did try to help. The OP didn't want to hear it. I asked the OP to investigate his possible part in this (even if subconsciously) since it seems to be something that happens to him more frequently than to other men. He freaked out. I then said it could be the length of the conversations, meandering or other factors that might "look like" he was just hanging onto the conversation waiting for an "in." He didn't want to hear that either. Meanwhile, some men on the thread said it happens to them but apparently not as frequently as to the OP so something must be up. OP didn't want to hear that either. Support that non-"handsome" men can attract women was shot down. Every. Single. Attempt. At. Help. Or. Explanation. Was. Shot. Down. Period, end of story.
Was there something we missed here in seeing the other person's side and trying to help? OP doesn't want to hear ANY of it. ALL he wants to hear is: 1. women are liars and are all entirely shallow, and no woman ever goes for a non-Hollywood-handsome man, period. 2. These women DEFINITELY WERE bringing up boyfriends for NO OTHER REASON than to make sure the OP doesn't ask them out. (Like we could possibly know that?) Sorry, how are any of us supposed to go, "Yes, you're right!" to that?
Yes, the thread could go back and forth forever, with the OP learning nothing, zip, and continuing to hate women...well, he'll probably do that latter anyway, thread or no thread.
JerZ, this is a thoughtful response.
Op, do you see the above and what they are telling you? This shouldn't turn into a "MGTOW v. Feminazi" smackdown gender online thread war. That's not even what they are doing, your perspective tells you there is an agenda, but again there is simply another perspective and nothing else. Do you see what they mean?
Earlier I gave some examples, but here is one of the crazier conversations I had.
When working at the bookstore with the women who treated my good-looking male co-workers differently than me and the other less-attractive men, I once had this conversation when unloading some books about the Bush Administration's civil rights violations:
Me: Wow, Bush got away with destroying our privacy under the guise of security.
Woman: Yea, I don't understand why people allowed him to gain so much power.
Me: Mainly because when people are afraid, they'll let the government do whatever they like so as long as they continue feeling "safe."
Woman: My boyfriend didn't vote for Bush.
WTF?
This SAME woman talked to my actor co-workers all day and NEVER mentioned a boyfriend. Ever.
Now, this kind of thing happened with ME and my NOT-HOT-GUY co-workers.
The women mentioned boyfriends or SO with us, but never with the more attractive guys.
This is just one of many of these kinds of conversations. But women aren't shallow, women don't do anything wrong ever according to the ridiculous women on this thread.
Perhaps she made up the BF so as not risk you asking her out. That seems kinds obvious with what you wrote above, if accurate.
Or, she had talked to them before and mentioned it.
The whole thing is not unusual and happens all the time. Sorry it bugs you so much.
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Earlier I gave some examples, but here is one of the crazier conversations I had.
When working at the bookstore with the women who treated my good-looking male co-workers differently than me and the other less-attractive men, I once had this conversation when unloading some books about the Bush Administration's civil rights violations:
Me: Wow, Bush got away with destroying our privacy under the guise of security.
Woman: Yea, I don't understand why people allowed him to gain so much power.
Me: Mainly because when people are afraid, they'll let the government do whatever they like so as long as they continue feeling "safe."
Woman: My boyfriend didn't vote for Bush.
WTF?
This SAME woman talked to my actor co-workers all day and NEVER mentioned a boyfriend. Ever.
Now, this kind of thing happened with ME and my NOT-HOT-GUY co-workers.
The women mentioned boyfriends or SO with us, but never with the more attractive guys.
This is just one of many of these kinds of conversations. But women aren't shallow, women don't do anything wrong ever according to the ridiculous women on this thread.
I see nothing "wrong" or "shallow" in the example you gave. I also didn't see anyone say women never do those things ever. Come on. You seem so willing to believe that women everwhere are out to get you.
Women the world over routinely take small, inoffensive, proactive measures to avoid awkward propositions or unwanted attention from men. As has been said repeatedly, we cannot assume a stranger's motives, but our experience tells us to always be ready. How is that shallow?
Consider it the same thing as crossing the street to avoid a person who looks to be a panhandler. If person didn't intend on asking you for anything, his feelings shouldn't be hurt. If he was, it might make him angry enough to post on C-D
I always considered a win-win to mention if you have a BF.
The guy doesn't have to go through the awkwardness of being turned down. I thought I was being polite.
Go figure.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Women the world over routinely take small, inoffensive, proactive measures to avoid awkward propositions or unwanted attention from men. As has been said repeatedly, we cannot assume a stranger's motives, but our experience tells us to always be ready. How is that shallow?
Consider it the same thing as crossing the street to avoid a person who looks to be a panhandler. If person didn't intend on asking you for anything, his feelings shouldn't be hurt. If he was, it might make him angry enough to post on C-D
I don't even see "My boyfriend didn't vote for Bush" as necessarily a preemptive or proactive comment in the first place. Can't we mention the men in our lives in casual conversation?
I always considered a win-win to mention if you have a BF.
The guy doesn't have to go through the awkwardness of being turned down. I thought I was being polite.
Go figure.
I agree
If I'm out and about and I get talking to a lady and I get the feeling she likes me, I usually bring up my imaginary girlfriend ( assuming i don't like her ) as its the gentlest way possible to let someone down and there's not much chance of them proceeding and making it awkward......
I've been that bloke that's been told " I have a boyfriend ".... And I usually work around it with a good natured " yes but I won't fancy him much and I'm guessing you're a bit better looking than him love! " or a " now now there's no need for language like that! " sort of thing
It always brings a giggle and often a laugh so it's left on good terms and we both leave with a smile
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