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That's what I think. But it hangs around like St. Bernard farts in the den perhaps BECAUSE it's entirely unquantifiable...but it has a percentage sign after it, so it has to be true, somehow.
It's not, people, LOL. I mean, no pun intended, but what are the odds?
And if it were true, what good would it really be, in this case?
I think people should ask themselves that question any time they're tempted to proclaim some truth about life or love or anything really important. Especially when that truth puts them is a dim light. The "truth" is often not true or at least pretty dubious, and even when it has some element of truth to it, what's the point in elevating that kind of truthy something to some universal principle?
I usually see this stuff when people are arguing, hard, for their own limitations. As timberline said, why invest energy in that? If you're up against long odds, and sometimes that's true, focusing on the long odds can't help.
The 80/20 rule (Pareto principle) does make sense in areas such as economics, business, software/IT and health care. There is data to back it up in those areas.
Areas where it does NOT make sense are relationships and attractiveness. Basically, anything where one's emotions and gut feelings factor in heavily.
Trying to apply the rule to everything is silly.
There's a reason why there's a lot of overlap between the group of people who attempt to apply this rule to relationships and romance...and the group of bitter people who have a hard time attracting others and dating.
The premise of the 80/20 rule is that you will never get more than 80% of what you want in a partner, the 80/20 rule is why many cheat and why many have a fear of commitment.
Examples:
"she is a great mother to my children,beautiful, keeps herself in shape and runs the household perfectly, but she only want's to have sex twice a week"
or
"he is a great guys, funny. charming, attractive, great lover, is faithful, hut he is broke, lives in a studio apartment and rides the bus to his dish washing job at Denny's"
In a perfect world the 20% you don't like consists of things like "she has bad morning breath because of her low carb diet that keeps her slim and toned" or "he keeps leaving the toilet seat up." you stuff that looks small in the bigger picture.
Now I had an ex once who said I was 90% the perfect boyfriend a few days before dumping me, the 10% she did not like was that she thought I lacked ambition(which I lived within my means never mooched off of her even when she offered and even took her out every 2 weeks). a year later she tried to come back for months blowing up my phone and sending emails each one a small novel.
I didn't bother with the video. I seen you post frequently in this board so I'm going to be blunt. If the women you are interested reject you because you don't make enough money, are anti social or whatever, then find a way to make more money, be social, or improve your self. Otherwise, you have no one to blame, but your self. You can sit their sulking all you want and it isn't going to change your situation. Personally, I made many changes not solely due to women, but because I want to be the one in charge and hope one day I may be an executive of a large multinational corporation. Women are naturally attracted to men like me. However, I had to make great sacrifices to get to this point.
There are things you can't change like your height, skin color, or your raw intelligence. However, you can change your profession, salary, social skills, social standing, behavior, and so forth. It takes planning and practice. You might fail or even make a foul of yourself, but it's the only way to move forward. Most people fail, because they never try.
Last edited by NekoLogic; 08-08-2016 at 01:08 PM..
The premise of the 80/20 rule is that you will never get more than 80% of what you want in a partner, the 80/20 rule is why many cheat and why many have a fear of commitment.
Examples:
"she is a great mother to my children,beautiful, keeps herself in shape and runs the household perfectly, but she only want's to have sex twice a week"
or
"he is a great guys, funny. charming, attractive, great lover, is faithful, hut he is broke, lives in a studio apartment and rides the bus to his dish washing job at Denny's"
In a perfect world the 20% you don't like consists of things like "she has bad morning breath because of her low carb diet that keeps her slim and toned" or "he keeps leaving the toilet seat up." you stuff that looks small in the bigger picture.
Now I had an ex once who said I was 90% the perfect boyfriend a few days before dumping me, the 10% she did not like was that she thought I lacked ambition(which I lived within my means never mooched off of her even when she offered and even took her out every 2 weeks). a year later she tried to come back for months blowing up my phone and sending emails each one a small novel.
In the pre-social media age there was a lot less "keeping up with the Joneses." Now, with everybody doing maximum positive PR spin on their life, people obsess about the 20% they don't like and say "I want perfection now!" Much trouble then ensues. The trouble is compounded by the ease of contacting old flames / finding out who the flirter at the bar was / etc.
In a perfect world the 20% you don't like consists of things like "she has bad morning breath because of her low carb diet that keeps her slim and toned" or "he keeps leaving the toilet seat up." you stuff that looks small in the bigger picture.
Now I had an ex once who said I was 90% the perfect boyfriend a few days before dumping me, the 10% she did not like was that she thought I lacked ambition(which I lived within my means never mooched off of her even when she offered and even took her out every 2 weeks). a year later she tried to come back for months blowing up my phone and sending emails each one a small novel.
The thing is, the more you post about your life and your expectations, I don't know if, for most women, you've got 80% going for you at this point. You live like a vampire and expect all dating to happen on your schedule and in the dark; you're out of the rat race, which is fine, but it limits your resources; you pride yourself on owning your own home, which is commendable, but you admit it's not in a decent or upcoming area; and most important, you seem very unwilling to compromise because you think adjusting your life to fit someone else is a flaw. You have a very specific way of life that isn't going to appeal to everyone. Any woman who dates you is going to have to make a lot of concessions to do so because you're not going to meet in the middle. Expecting more than the bare minimum doesn't necessarily make women or society shallow.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 08-08-2016 at 03:13 PM..
and most importantly, you seem very unwilling to compromise because you think adjusting your life to fit someone else is a flaw.
This!
Plus he expects that someone else to compromise everything and fit into his unusual lifestyle. A flaw on his part but a necessity on hers.
The odds of finding that one person that fits his checklist 100% is bordering on the impossible.
Especially since we are talking about established middle-aged people.
(Heck, with my older eyes, I need - yes, need - WAY more than one 40 watt bulb in a room. Yet that is one of the parameters to be met...)
OP, as intelligent, deep and interesting as you are, you KNOW what your problems are. Please don't be disingenuous continuing to bring up new threads like this one. You know you're on the antisocial side, live financially very close to the vest/semi-off the grid which naturally is going to eliminate a certain percentage of women (well, all people...how about friends, guy friends? Do you have those? You don't mention any), generally don't go out except at night, and refuse to smile in your photos/wear bandannas and carry weapons with a glare on your face in photos. You know you have anxiety and you may have depression. Fix those - stop looking for reasons outside yourself. You already know what needs to be fixed even just for your own happiness, much less bringing a second person into the equation.
Ouch thats a bit harsh don't you think?
plus it would be stupid to choose a 60% match over an 80%
I viewed your youtube video which was unique however if I was looking for a man your video makes you look like a hard nose character, a angry man, thuggish, gangsta, possibly hostile & violent. Change it to look more charming & inviting. As it stands it's somewhat scary cause you look like you might be borderline psychotic & I'm sure that's not the look you want to be perceived as.
We as humans feel the need to analyze, to the point of silliness.
Anyone with any sense in their heads know that no one single human could fulfill 100 percent of the needs of their partner. This is so much commons sense that I shouldn't have to even mention it.
People cheat for variety of reasons, a good chunk of the time it's just to get some strange on the side and to keep what you have at home. People shouldn't get married if they can't accept that their partner doesn't have every trait they want and aren't willing to be monogamous, otherwise, why get married in the first place??
I agree. It's about compromise and being able to look past the things you don't like about someone into the things that you do, what you both have to offer each other, etc. It's the reason why a lot of people have trouble dating or finding someone....one small thing about someone is good enough to drive someone away nowadays it seems.
The negative almost always seems to far outweigh the positive when it comes to a lot of things involving people, not just dating.
The thing is, the more you post about your life and your expectations, I don't know if, for most women, you've got 80% going for you at this point. You live like a vampire and expect all dating to happen on your schedule and in the dark; you're out of the rat race, which is fine, but it limits your resources; you pride yourself on owning your own home, which is commendable, but you admit it's not in a decent or upcoming area; and most important, you seem very unwilling to compromise because you think adjusting your life to fit someone else is a flaw. You have a very specific way of life that isn't going to appeal to everyone. Any woman who dates you is going to have to make a lot of concessions to do so because you're not going to meet in the middle. Expecting more than the bare minimum doesn't necessarily make women or society shallow.
Actually his home is in an upcoming area and he was complaining about it because it made his taxes go up lol.
Bottom line if I would have met him in my late teens or early 20's I would have dated him in a heartbeat. if I met a man who was a 25 year old version of him I would date him(because his life is what you expect from a 25 year old), but he is 46, women naturally expect someone that age to be further along.
He goes on and on about how much better dating was in his youth, I think he is trying to replicate that time in his life and he does not understand why it's not working. Look at the pics of his house several posts back, it looks like most guys first apartment. and he actually went through effort to make it look like that. No photos of family on the wall but a Scarface movie poster?
he avoids the sun and works out in an attempt to look younger and it seems to be working, I would place him in his late 20's early 30's but is it worth it if you never get to see sunlight?
I'm sure he thinks he would not complicate a woman's life being he lives so simple, but being with him would mean anything nice she has gotten used to she would either have to give up or pay his way on it or settle for TGIF once every couple of weeks. No trips to the lake, no vacations to fun and nice places where there might actually have sun. I think he said he lives in a 2 bedroom house and one of the rooms is his office, That means if he ever got married she could never have old friends or relatives visit, or kids from college come home for xmas. He thinks having more than 2 rooms is just for people with kids?
And even though he always pays his bills does not mean he is financially stable because his disposable income fluctuates to the point that he can never plan for anything big outside of day to day living, Yes he may have a good month and be able to go on a trip but because work most of us have to plan far ahead for those things and can't just hop on a airplane and go. I have no doubt he will treat a woman like a goddess his type usually does but being that women usually live much longer, that poor woman will be stuck paying his medical bill's and funeral bill's for the rest of her golden years.
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