The 80/20 rule and why relationships suck these days. (dating, boyfriend, married)

[cyphorx]

The premise of the 80/20 rule is that you will never get more than 80% of what you want in a partner, the 80/20 rule is why many cheat and why many have a fear of commitment.

Examples:
"she is a great mother to my children,beautiful, keeps herself in shape and runs the household perfectly, but she only want's to have sex twice a week"

or

"he is a great guys, funny. charming, attractive, great lover, is faithful, hut he is broke, lives in a studio apartment and rides the bus to his dish washing job at Denny's"

In a perfect world the 20% you don't like consists of things like "she has bad morning breath because of her low carb diet that keeps her slim and toned" or "he keeps leaving the toilet seat up." you stuff that looks small in the bigger picture.

Now I had an ex once who said I was 90% the perfect boyfriend a few days before dumping me, the 10% she did not like was that she thought I lacked ambition(which I lived within my means never mooched off of her even when she offered and even took her out every 2 weeks). a year later she tried to come back for months blowing up my phone and sending emails each one a small novel.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcd2haXsCPk

[mishigas73]

I thought the 80/20 rule was that 80 percent of women find 20 percent of men attractive.

Jeez, it's just so difficult to keep these rules straight!!

[cyphorx]

Originally Posted by mishigas73

I thought the 80/20 rule was that 80 percent of women find 20 percent of men attractive.

Jeez, it's just so difficult to keep these rules straight!!

either way, the result is the same.

[Bayesian]

Originally Posted by mishigas73

I thought the 80/20 rule was that 80 percent of women find 20 percent of men attractive.

Jeez, it's just so difficult to keep these rules straight!!

I felt exactly the same.

[Listener2307]

...or, the 20% of time that I am ecstatically happy with her balances out the 80% of the time I wish she would just go away.

It's a perfect balance.

[usayit]

Only thing that matters is whether or not the stuff you don't like is something you can live with.

My feelings is way too many people have sky high expectations that they themselves don't hold themselves to.

[Auraliea]

OP, I think you're just deeply discouraged and frustrated.

If I were you, I try to understand why not dating/not being a relationship affects you so much to point of constantly trying to understand why relationships suck and why you feel the need to come up with so many different theories.

[dcarney]

Originally Posted by mishigas73

I thought the 80/20 rule was that 80 percent of women find 20 percent of men attractive.

Jeez, it's just so difficult to keep these rules straight!!

The "80/20 rule" is also known as the Pareto Principle.

Supposedly, most things in nature follow this rule. I've never heard of it in this context though.

Based on what I've seen, I can certainly agree with your interpretation of this principle though.

[JerZ]

I am so sick of the 80/20 rule.

It's applied to EVERYTHING these days.

It sounds like something my 10-year-old would say as a dramatic urban legend.

OP, as intelligent, deep and interesting as you are, you KNOW what your problems are. Please don't be disingenuous continuing to bring up new threads like this one. You know you're on the antisocial side, live financially very close to the vest/semi-off the grid which naturally is going to eliminate a certain percentage of women (well, all people...how about friends, guy friends? Do you have those? You don't mention any), generally don't go out except at night, and refuse to smile in your photos/wear bandannas and carry weapons with a glare on your face in photos. You know you have anxiety and you may have depression. Fix those - stop looking for reasons outside yourself. You already know what needs to be fixed even just for your own happiness, much less bringing a second person into the equation.

[Chowhound]

We as humans feel the need to analyze, to the point of silliness.


Anyone with any sense in their heads know that no one single human could fulfill 100 percent of the needs of their partner. This is so much commons sense that I shouldn't have to even mention it.


People cheat for variety of reasons, a good chunk of the time it's just to get some strange on the side and to keep what you have at home. People shouldn't get married if they can't accept that their partner doesn't have every trait they want and aren't willing to be monogamous, otherwise, why get married in the first place??