My boyfriend won't take his shirt off around me (dating, boyfriends, guy)
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My boyfriend and I have been together ~9 months. In the first few months we were dating, I noticed he never took his white undershirt off when we had sex but I didn't want to say anything and make him feel bad about it. I thought maybe he just needed to open up more around me. Fast forward to now, he still never takes it off during sex and it's starting to upset me. I want us to both to be naked and intimate. I haven't confronted him about it but I feel like at this point I have to. He's fine being naked by himself just not around me.
Also, he refuses to take a shower with me. This is something I've done with previous boyfriends early on in our relationship but still can't do with my current boyfriend. He also won't go swimming in the ocean water with me and claims he "hates pools."
I know overall this is a small problem in regards to our relationship but when thinking about long term, I don't want to be with someone that is essentially afraid of the water and has these big insecurities.
What do I do?
Edit: Just to add that I do not think my boyfriend is fat or anything like that. I know it's because he is insecure about his weight/chest hair. He's 6'0 and ~215 lbs but I love him no matter what, I just want him to accept himself because I do
Obviously there is something under that shirt that bothers him.... maybe a huge scar or something.
Just sit down and ask him. I can't believe you haven't talked about this in 9 months.
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Obviously there is something under that shirt that bothers him.... maybe a huge scar or something.
Just sit down and ask him. I can't believe you haven't talked about this in 9 months.
I'm not making it about myself but it does effect me because it effects him and I'm in a relationship with him. There is no scar he has made small comments how it is about his weight. He used to be really skinny when he was younger and he's not anymore and is upset about that.
I knew a guy who had a very bad skin condition on his back due to medication he was taking. He would wear a shirt at the beach, and was very self-conscious about it. Ask your guy about the shirt. If you've been together this long and have an intimate relationship, you should be able to ask about it.
edit: Wait, what? He's self-conscious about his weight? How does a shirt hide weight?
I knew a guy who had a very bad skin condition on his back due to medication he was taking. He would wear a shirt at the beach, and was very self-conscious about it. Ask your guy about the shirt. If you've been together this long and have an intimate relationship, you should be able to ask about it.
edit: Wait, what? He's self-conscious about his weight? How does a shirt hide weight?
I'm honestly not sure but it's a combo of his weight and hairiness. I've seen him shirtless once when he was in the bathroom and he doesn't have any rashes or scars. Next time we are about to have sex I'm going to try and take off his shirt and if he stops me I'll confront him.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I knew a guy who had a very bad skin condition on his back due to medication he was taking. He would wear a shirt at the beach, and was very self-conscious about it. Ask your guy about the shirt. If you've been together this long and have an intimate relationship, you should be able to ask about it.
edit: Wait, what? He's self-conscious about his weight? How does a shirt hide weight?
From a guy who has a gut himself, at least you don't have to look at the stomach if the shirt is covering it.
Maybe he has some scars he don't want to talk about, or weird tattoo...
Or a tattoo with someone else's name that he doesn't care to discuss just yet.
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