My boyfriend won't take his shirt off around me (looking, issues, handsome)
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I would never text someone about something like a body issue. Geeeeez are Millennials really that socially awkward...that they don't understand that some things deserve the context and nuance of an in-person conversation?
I would have gone against all the advise given here and just take his shirt off when we get naked next time. Not after 9 months though, probably after the 3rd time doing the loveydovey thing. And if he refuses, I would turn the lights off to make him feel better and next time I leave them on.
My boyfriend and I have been together ~9 months. In the first few months we were dating, I noticed he never took his white undershirt off when we had sex but I didn't want to say anything and make him feel bad about it. I thought maybe he just needed to open up more around me. Fast forward to now, he still never takes it off during sex and it's starting to upset me. I want us to both to be naked and intimate. I haven't confronted him about it but I feel like at this point I have to. He's fine being naked by himself just not around me.
Also, he refuses to take a shower with me. This is something I've done with previous boyfriends early on in our relationship but still can't do with my current boyfriend. He also won't go swimming in the ocean water with me and claims he "hates pools."
I know overall this is a small problem in regards to our relationship but when thinking about long term, I don't want to be with someone that is essentially afraid of the water and has these big insecurities.
What do I do?
Edit: Just to add that I do not think my boyfriend is fat or anything like that. I know it's because he is insecure about his weight/chest hair. He's 6'0 and ~215 lbs but I love him no matter what, I just want him to accept himself because I do
The media and society have conditioned many people to hate us rug backs. The boyish hairless look has been in for years now and most women are scared of hair. I'm not surprised your partner now has issues.
Maybe I should start some sort of support group for us hairy ones.
The media and society have conditioned many people to hate us rug backs. The boyish hairless look has been in for years now and most women are scared of hair. I'm not surprised your partner now has issues.
Maybe I should start some sort of support group for us hairy ones.
Same with men. Plenty of men hate women having hair on anything but their head. Some, I eve hear saying women are "supposed to be" smooth and hairless.
The hairless trend has been going on now on both sides where many people now are just repulsed by the sight of body hair.
To be honest I've felt weird about after the first month but felt so awkward about actually saying it out loud. I've seen him completely nude like once
This is absolutely about you and there is nothing wrong with that. You should be able to express your needs. Don't listen to people who tell you not to make this about you. There is nothing wrong with expressing what you need in a relationship. If part of that is feeling the intimacy of him being fully unclothed, there is nothing wrong with that.
His not being able to meet your needs in this area is no different than anyone else not being able to meet a partner's intimate needs in a relationship. If he is unwilling to work on this, he is probably no the right guy for you.
I'm guessing he wouldn't be too happy if you never wanted to take off your bra and shirt when you are with him.
The time to bring this up is when the two of you are together, in person. And it should be done subtly and sensitively, maybe seductively. Personally, I'd wait til we were starting to get frisky, and try kissing around his neck, chest and stomach, etc. Gotta lift up his shirt at least to do that, right? I can't imagine a man refusing to let me take his shirt off while I was doing that. And there would be lots of reassurance from me of how sexy I think he is.
?
My thoughts ran this way except that I would not try to take it off. Start slower.Run your hands up under it, nuzzle him under the lower part and over the course of days or even a couple of weeks, expose more and more until he gets used to it.
Frankly, if you want him to feel at ease around you shirtless, it's YOUR job to make him feel that way. And a text is basically the opposite of the right way to do that.
I thought I heard it all here but that is a new one. DUMP him for leaving his shirt on during sex. Wow. Aren't you married? How can you have a long term partner if you would throw in the towel (or shirt) for such a minor issue???
If this kind of connection is one of her basic needs for physical intimacy, she absolutely should dump him.
There is nothing wrong with making insecurity a deal-breaker.
Trying to prop up a person who is extremely insecure becomes exhausting after a while. You can't fix someone's insecurities. They have to do that themselves.
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BOB
